Rise Raph - Blog Posts

Hey! Here's a quick explanation of how the Mystic Powers work in my H!AU :D

The Mystic in my Human AU is a sort of projection of one's soul. All the yokai have it in a basic form, giving them mutant-like appearances whenever they desire. Basically it's what's in the show but flipped. Eg, Big Mama is a human crime boss that can project her soul around her into a spider and use it to project webs.

The Hamato Spirit is a advanced version of the mystic. They can project their souls but it's them with the Hamato Clan symbol. The turtles use this as their Mystic powers. Eg, Donnie, instead of making Mystic Tech out of thin air, makes it using his soul.

The turtles markings only really appear if they use their mystic powers. Except for Raph and Leo. For Raph, his whole body glows instead of just his eyes and some markings. For Leo, he always has his markings, they just glow when he uses his mystic portals.

The Yokai still live seperate from New York, but it's to hide away the powers then because they might not be welcomed. Only a select few non-Mystic Users can harness the mystic. They usually have something special about them and they usually have gone through their own battles (wink wink).

a little thing based on the song Why Didn't I Kiss Her(The Useless Lesbian Song) by Ratwyfe. this probably could've been laid out a bit better but oh well! i think it's cute so i tried not to stress too much over it :)

raphala :]

Leo sneaking into the lair at ungodly hours in full crossdress, raph dramaticly turning around. "where have y-" "I CAN EXPLAIN I SWEAR!" Mikey and donnie easdroping around the corner and being just as confused.

I have a lot of plans for October, but I'm not sure that I'll be able to implement everything, so I decided to play it safe

A lil crooked but it'll do

Screenshot redraw!

I don't usually color so much

Or do background

Or shade....

Haha

So this was really challenging but i like how it turned out :)

Big hands problems

Can you read my handwriting

DEEMO IS SO GOOD U DOMT UNDERSTAND

It looks so pretty and has all these albums with pretty music

Every song has its own little song illustration which really gives it a story. AND it's easy to understand cause you just tap the floating things to the music

There's also a little plot to keep you going and when I tell you I cried playing this game. It really comforted me a lot of times.

And also

The main theme is family

Based on an actual thing that kept happing with my sister and brother

They go to yokai school or smth 🏫 don't mind the details-

I have some art to show

Im using a different program cause my IPad won't work anymore and I miss procreate.

Tw: MOVIE SPOILERS!

A little something I busied myself with these last two days. I'm very unsure about the length (and really everything about this) but I didn't want to scrap the buildup.

There's a bonus at the end :)

We all need the comfort

TURN ON THE SOUND PLEASE

I SPENT FOREVER ON THIS BUT I finally did it and I'm so proud!! I thought this was a funny thing to do and have been working on and off this for months ahaha.

Anyway, some favorite panels:

✨D a z z l e✨

Looking so happy in this last one

THANKS FOR BEING HERE <3

Have I been drawing in low quality art cause I didn't care enough? Maybe. Do I regret it now? MAYBE, BUT TAKE THESE TURTLE HUGS and two extra sketches because it's all I've been doing

Comfort vent art for this weekend kind of. Rottmnt edition because I'm obsessed and it doesn't mix well 🧎‍♀️

"YAY, arts and crafts!!"

Listen, I can't believe I forgot raph's cute baby tooth, I knew something was weird 😭

Might remake them cause I also didn't have the right shades of green left 😔

Small headcanons about the turtles growing up 🐢

My FIRST post here!!! Sleepy comfort turtles 🐢💤 I don't know how Tumblr works I had to try this several times

Some doodles i did 🤭

The first one is what I think the gang would look like after the war

The rest are just little cute drawing that I needed to put to paper (or computer) before the idea dissappears

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Warning ⚠️ eye strain or bright colours

Leo and Donnie as glitz and glam from helluva boss

Really like this one ngl decide to do purple for donnie (obviously) instead of blue , would definitely fit his character way more

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Dibujo de los guapos ✨🐢

Big brother Raph and some family angst because of course.

A Gift for @allosaurids

Summary:

This is inspired by @cupcakeslushie Feral Leo AU.

After Leo comes back from the prison dimension scared and battered, Raph is just trying to survive the night and help Leo come back to them.

Even though he questions if there is any part of Leo left to return to them.

-

The vision in Raph's right eye is fuzzy and out of focus, and his arm on that side is throbbing and twitching uncontrollably. In fact, the whole of his right side feels wrong, alternating between numbness, and feeling like a thousand sharp needles are tearing and shredding at his skin and muscles. 

He needs rest. He knows he needs rest. But he can't, not yet.  

His mind is a field of landmines, and if he thinks too long about what could have happened, what did happen, he's going fall apart, and Raph can't afford that. Not now, when the injuries of the invasion are still raw and bleeding, still all too present. He can't rest yet; he needs to wait for his family and him to begin to heal.  

But Raph has a feeling that they never will be completely fine after this again. Especially Leo, who crouches in the corner of the dark med bay, eyes wide, wild, and unseeing.  

Raph is sitting in the opposite corner, curled inwards in an attempt to appear smaller and less of a threat, and just looks at his brother.  

His brother who spent years in the prison dimension, when for them it had only been minutes. Who has thick, jagged scars across his body that hadn’t been there at the beginning of this nightmare, nails and teeth that are sharp and cracked, and at the center of it all: a huge crack down his shell that none of them can treat because he won't let them close enough to do so.  

The two brothers watch each other in the dim light and take in each other. Leo with a scared and uncertain gaze, that shifts from Raph to the other shadows in the room. While Raph just looks and tries to take in all the changes that Leo has gone through.  

Raph wishes he could have stopped it, that he had taken Leo’s place, that none of this ever happened.  

He wishes he could tell Leo that he’s sorry.  

But he can’t. Not in a way that Leo would be able to understand right now. 

So, Raph does the only thing he could think of to calm down the scared rabid animal that had taken the place of his little brother. He hums. 

It’s a deep, rumbling, purring, hum that doesn’t come from his throat, but from the space between his lungs. He hadn’t done this in years, not since they were all tots, but it had always calmed him and the others down and he was praying it would work here. 

It didn’t seem to be working, Raph wasn’t even sure Leo was hearing it. 

Then, Raph felt a flicker of pain scatter across his arm, and he flinched.  

Dammit, not again!

He groaned and curled inward bracing for what was about to happen. 

The parts of him that had been fused with the kraang flared in agony. Burning sharp pain that made him want to scratch and tear at his skin to get it out. His whole-body shook, his eyes watered, and Raph knew that all he could do was ride it out.  

But, God, he just wanted it to stop.  

The episode went on for what was likely just a few minutes, though it felt longer, wearing down Raph’s already weak mental defenses and allowing the memories of everything that had happened to invade the parts of his mind not already overwhelmed with the pain. Why couldn’t this horrible day just be over already?! 

Raph felt something brush against his left arm.  

The snapper whipped around and pressed himself deeper into the corner to get away from whatever had managed to sneak up on him. But as he did so, whatever had touched him skittered backwards with a hiss.  

Leo hunched inwards on himself staring at Raph with fear and expectance, but Raph froze. For a few seconds neither of them moved, then Leo leaned forward and audibly sniffed the air. After a second, the slider took a step forward and made a soft clicking noise.  

"...Hurt?" Leo managed to rasp; voice uncertain but his face a mix of apathy and fear. Raph managed a small nod, too scared to make any move or noise that could frighten Leo back into the opposite corner. The younger just sniffed the air again and shuffled closer. Without taking his eyes off Raph, Leo reached out with one dirty clawed hand and placed it atop his brother's bandaged wrapped arm.  

It took everything Raph had not to flinch at the contact, as it caused the pain to spike and be brought to the forefront of his mind again. Leo ran his hand over the bandage, squinting down at it with his still cloudy eyes. He took the larger hand into his own and ran his fingertips down it and turned it over.  

He's looking for blood, Raph realized. Checking to see if the bandages needed replacing. Just like he always does when one of us is hurt.  

The thought gives him a terrible hope that maybe a part of Leo survived whatever had happened to him.  

Leo's administrations hurt more than they help, because there are no cuts to bleed, and his bandages are clean. But Raph allows it because it's the closest Leo has been to normal since they got him back, and he's not going to ruin this. He stays still, even when Leo moves his examination from his arm up to his eye, and, upon finding nothing to treat, onto the rest of him. 

When it's over, Raph is still just as hurt and tired as when they started, but Leo looks more present than he has since they got him back. The younger pulls back and faces Raph head-on. His mouth twists like he wants to say something, but he doesn't even try to open his mouth and vocalize it, which is so unlike the Leo that Raph knows.  

That's okay, Raph still has his voice, and he can talk for them both for now.  

"Thanks for the help, Lee," He whispers. Leo squirms under his gaze, then makes us sharp hissing click before turning away.  

Raph briefly panics that he did something wrong before he sees Leo moving towards the medical cot in the center of the room. The older relaxes realizing that Leo is just going back to bed now that he knows everything's all right. Or so he thought. Because Leo is coming back with the pillows and blankets that had covered the bed.  

He puts the pillow up against the wall next to Raph, then takes the large sheet and throws it over Raph's head. Leo sits down with the pillow protecting his injured and broken shell and arranges the blanket around his older brother. When he's done, he just curls slightly into his shell and stares out over the dark med bay, searching for a threat that isn’t there. 

The dangerous hope has taken root in Raph's chest, and he prays that Leo is still there.  

For a few minutes they just sit like that. Then Leo struggles out a single word.  

"Real?"  

For a moment Raph's not sure what he's talking about, then he remembers all the horrible things the kraang could make him see when it forced itself into his mind. An overwhelming sense of grief threatens to swallow him whole, and he moves to take Leo's hand in his. To try and convince his younger brother that yes, this is real, and he is safe now. But he stops himself.  

Memories of what it was like being held captive by the kraang, about how they clung to every part of you, and how their touch was unescapable, flashed across his thoughts.  

No, touch wasn't a good idea. But the idea of not being able to cling to some part of Leo was worse. 

So, Raph does the only thing he could think of, he reached up and undid his bandana from his head. He wrapped one of the fraying ends around his own hand and offered the other out to Leo.  

For a moment Leo just stared, eyes flickering between Raph and the red fabric.  

"Take it," Raph offered, and Leo's face filled with the same dangerous hope that had blossomed in Raph's chest. Leo shakily gripped the other end of the bandana, and Raph pulled it taut between them.  

They had done this when they were younger too, mostly when Donnie didn't feel that he could touch anything but still wanted to know his brothers were nearby. It feels wrong using it like this, but it's the only thing that Raph can think of. 

"This is real," Raph promised, tears flowing out of his eyes. "You're safe now." 

Leo’s empty gaze returned to scanning the dark room, but his grip tightened on the bandana, and after quiet moment Leo began to hum in the same way Raph had done earlier. 

Raph closed his eyes, pain still shooting up and down his skin and returned his brother’s attempt to soothe them with his own rumblings. 

They would both be healed soon; they just needed a little time. 

-

Sooooo, I'm kinda sliding in under the buzzer here.

I rewrote this at least five times, and still wasn't satisfied with it. But @allosaurids deserves a gift, so I just had to go with it.

Thank you to @rottmnt-secret-gifting for hosting, and to the receiver of this gift I ask permission to be able to post this on Ao3.

Thank you.

Rise April Challenge 23: Spooky

Prev - Next - Masterpost Ao3 Link: Here (Not my finest work, but it's okay. I like writing horror, but I didn't want to lean too heavily into that, so here.)

Flint lives in New York, has for many years now, he’s seen some weird stuff. That means that he rarely gets surprised any more. But that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t get scared.

He had been scouting out an abandoned sewar tunnel for a few weeks now. It seems that’s out of view most security cameras and he hadn’t seen anyone else using it for... unsavory business. So, Flint thought it would be a good place to do some not exactly legal art.

The tunnel was dark and smelt of old rainwater, the kind of water was tainted with the oils and gases of the city and dragged them down through storm drains, but there wasn't the smell of sewage and that was good enough for Flint.

He flicked on his flashlight and walked deeper in, the sound of his footsteps bouncing endlessly into the darkness. The light from the entrance was soon gone, leaving Flint only with the pale artificial light in his hand. The air was still, and the young vandal felt the clinging, dusty cold that came with being encased underground. It felt like the tunnel was holding its breath, staring out at him with wide unseen eyes.  

An image entered Flint’s mind of a tall, slim, shadowy figure, just a step or two behind him. Following. Waiting. He could see the way it glided forward, soundlessly so as not to alert its victim. He could see the way the darkness was stuffed and shoved into an into a tall, bulging, shape that could almost be a man. And Flint could see the way its long slim fingers reached out to grab his head and yank it straight off his-

He whipped around and shined the light right where the things face would be.  

There was nothing there.

Of course not. He was just creeped out from being in a dark tunnel alone. It was normal that his imagination acted up. Flint shook his head and carried on.

-

A few minutes later Flint had stopped walking and was working on a section of wall, illuminated by his flashlight laying on the ground. The smell of paint driving off the old rain smell, and the shaking of spray cans driving off the echoes.

He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to paint and was mostly hoping inspiration would strike as he started to work. It was going okay, and he could feel himself slipping into a nice artistic trance when he heard the sound of footsteps echoing off the walls. He froze, wondering if someone had seen him go into the sewers and thought he was an easy target to rob, or if it was a cop.  

Except, it wasn't coming from the direction of the entrance.

It was coming from deeper inside.

Flint didn't move. He could feel his heart in his chest jumping and his mind overflowed with the images of true crime shows and horror movies.

The noise stopped, and Flint twisted his head to face it.

He could just see it, the beam of his flashlight barely managing to reveal its outline while the rest of it was cloaked in shadow. It was huge, almost twice his height and just as wide, with bulging masses of muscles the size of his head. Flint could make out the pointed shape of spikes running up and down the scaly skin of its arms. He saw more spikes curling down his back, and a few splitting from his shoulders, sharper and longer than the others. It was hunched over slightly and pinned Flint in place with two blank, glowing, white eyes.  

Flint could hear his breath hitch, and his legs shake.

He didn't want to die. Oh God, is he going to die?

The thing tilted its head and leaned slowly closer to the light. Flint could just make out the glimpse of bright red around its wrists, when something on the thing shoulder moved and two more glowing eyes opened and stared at him.

Flint ran. He abandoned his paint and flashlight, and just ran. Ran through the endless darkness towards the entrance, feeling the air rush past him and the walls closing around him, trying to trap him inside. They were inches away from touching his skin, he knew it. even if he couldn't see it, he knew it. He just had to get out.

Had to get out. Had to get out. HadtogetouthadtogetouthadtogETOUTGETOUTGETOUTGETOUT-

he collapsed into the light of the sun right of the tunnel and stared back into the darkness. Nothing came out after him.

After a few minutes of catching his breath, Flint went home. He never went back for his supplies. He never told anyone, never posted about it on the internet, he knew no one would believe him. And he figured that if he never went back into that thing's territory, it would leave him alone.

He didn't want to know what it was; he didn't care. As the saying goes “live and let live.” So, if it let him live, he would do the same. He figured that was fair.

-

Raph blinked at the spot where the artist had stood and just put his head in his hand. Dang it, he hadn't meant to scare the kid. Mikey yawned from his spot on Raph’s back.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing,” Raph said. “Let's get you to bed, you don't think your Sleepy-Little-Brother act gonna get me not to tell Pops you were out late painting again.”

“But I am tired. It's not an act if I’m actually tired.”

Prev - Next - Masterpost Ao3 Link: Here Please check out @zee-rambles who came up with this challenge, and look at @rise-april-art-challenge to see more submissions by other fans. Please give me feedback if there is anything I should work on.

@nickelodeon Bring Back Rise

Rise April Challenge 21: Chaos

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Raph gripped the pillow under his head and tried not to shake with the force of his shivers. He hated being sick. Leo just smiled from his seat on the bed, looking down as he counted out pills from a bottle.

“Alright, big buy. Open up.”  Raph thought about saying no, but the sooner this was over with the better. He reached out and popped the pills in his mouth, accepting the straw from the cup Leo was holding. The cold drink felt very nice on his sore throat, and he grabbed the cup and drained it. Leo just smiled and patted Raph’s arm.

“So, how long do I need to stay in bed?” Raph asked, voice nasial and horse. Leo just shrugged.

“Till you feel better.” Raph groaned and buried his head in the pillow. “Oh, don't be like that, you big baby. You'll be in fighting shape in no time, if you don't get out of bed.”

Raph lifted his head and looked at Leo, ignoring the pounding in his skull.  

“Are you guys gonna be okay?”

“Hermano, were not tots.” Raph wanted to say that they could have fooled him, but he was too tired to try. He just snuggled deeper into his blankets and closed his eyes.

“I’m gonna take a nap now...” He slurred and felt his brother’s hand rub on his head.

“Night, bro. Call if you need me.”

-

Raph woke up to the sounds of crashing and screaming.

He was out of bed and halfway out the door before his eyes were fully open, bed sheet tangled around his legs.  

“Guys! What’s happening?! What’s wrong?!”

He stopped his frantic rush as his eyes landed on the mess that was the floor of the skate ramp. Paint cans, action figures, bundles of wires, books, and socks were scattered between water bottles, plastic balls, and what looked to be a curtain rood. In the middle of the disaster of random items was Mikey, lying on his back. Raph rushed over and bent over his brother.

“Mikey! Mikey! What happened? Are you ok?!”  

Mikey moaned and blinked at him.

“Raph? What are you doing up?”

“Nevermind that, are you hurt?”

“Naw, I just fell.” Raph relaxed at that and let out a sigh.

“You got to be more careful, Mike.”

“Indeed, you do.” Said a voice from across the room, and the two looked over to see Donnie and Leo coming out of Don’s lab.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mikey dismissed standing up and looked around at the clutter on the floor.  

“Alright,” Leo clapped his hands together. “No one's hurt and everything is fine. So, vamos hermano mayor, you’re on bed rest.”

Raph just blinked dumbly for a moment, the adrenaline wearing off, and the feeling of stiff joints and aching muscles reminding him that he wasn’t in the best shape.

But should he just leave his brothers to whatever they were doing? ...What were they doing actually?

He didn’t get a chance to ask before he had been shuffled back to bed by Leo and tucked in.

...Raph guessed it was nothing to worry about.

-

Raph was worried. Leo had woken him up to take more meds and the younger was covered in what looked stripes of paint, ash, and... feathers?

“What happened?” He asked. Leo just shrugged.

“Nothing important.”

Raph narrowed his eyes in suspicion, but the effect was ruined by a coughing fit, which Leo soothed with more cold water.

“It’s all good, Raph. I promise. You just sleep, I’ll wake you up when it’s lunch.” 

“You better not be lying.” Raph said, and accepted the meds Leo gave.

-

Raph had woken up about half an hour ago, and he was getting tired of just playing on his phone. Plus, he was starting to get really hungry. He was feeling well enough to get himself some soup or something, and if Leo was going to throw a fit about Raph getting out of bed, he could always point out how often Leo was out and about when he was meant to be on bedrest.

Raph put the ramen in the microwave and poured himself a cup a juice while he waited. He pulled the comforter he brought with him closer around him and sniffed loudly, he really hated being sick.

Just then, Donnie bolted around the corner and slid into the kitchen, throwing open the cabinets and frantically digging around inside. He likely didn’t find what he needed, because he whipped around to try another and froze when he saw Raph blinking at him.

The two just stared at each other till the microwave beeped loudly and broke the silence. Raph turned and opened the door, taking the bowl.

“You good, Don?” He asked. His words seem to snap the softshell out of whatever was going on his head. He stood up straight and cleared his throat.

“Yes, I am perfectly alright. What are you doing out of bed?” Raph lifted the bowl of ramen his hand, confused.

Donnie didn’t ask obvious questions like that.  

Donnie rocked on his heels and smiled stiffly.

“Wonderful,” the genius said. “In that case we should get you to bed right away. Chop, chop.” He was already trying to herd his big brother towards his room. Raph tried to protest, he may be tired, sick, and maybe a little slow on the uptake, but he wasn't stupid.

“Don, what’s going on? Why is everyone-”

“LOOK OUT!”

The brothers turned and saw Mikey flying towards them, riding on the back of...

What the heck was that?

Raph didn’t have much time to try and figure that out because he was being tackled out of the way by Donnie. The bowl of hot ramen flying out of his hand, while Mikey and his ride brailed screaming into the kitchen.

Oh, that did not feel good. The snapper leaned against the wall and tried to keep his head from spinning. He then squinted his eyes open to see the chaos unfolding in the room.

Donnie was tearing through the cabinets and shouting for Mikey to: “Hold it still! Watch the tail! THE TAIL, MIKE!” While Mikey tried to follow the instructions and yelled right back. “I SEE THE TAIL! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT, DONALD?! AHHHHH!”

The “it” that they were talking about was some cross between a chicken, a salamander and... a toaster? Yep, a shiny medal body with feathered wings flapping manically, and the toggle to start the toasting on its side jumping up and down, making that clicking-shinking noise. Its eyes were going in two different directions and jumping around. It had two tails too, one a roster’s plumage, all puffed out, and an electric cord that was trying to wrap around Mikey to throw him off.

…

Was Raph dreaming?  

Donnie yelled and whipped around with something in his hand.

“CATCH!” He yelled and threw a canister at Mikey. Mikey caught it, ripped off the lid and dumped whatever was inside over the monster's head. Raph just stared as a pile of breadcrumbs fell on the thing's eyes and it just... stopped. It settled down, and just stood still.  

Mikey and Donne relaxed and the youngest slid off the chicken-toaster thing, and then locked eyes with Raph and froze in the same way Donnie had earlier.

“Hey, Raph~” He drawled out.

Raph just pinched his stuffed nose, his headache worsening, and his body still shaking with chills. Dammit, he was too sick for this mess.

“Has it hurt anyone?”  He asked, not opening his eyes to look at the scene in front of him.

“No.”

“Are you going to be dealing with it?”

“Yes.”

“Do you need me for that?”

“No.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“Not anymore.” Not ideal, but good enough.

“Great.” Raph turned and walked to his room. “Have Leo bring me some food when he can.”

-

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Raph asked when Leo came in with a bowl of soup and crackers. Leo just shuffled awkwardly.

“You were sick, and nothing you did could have helped. You would have been worried over nothing.” Raph looked up and prayed to whatever was up there for strength.  

“Alright, fine. I won’t give you all a lecture, even if you clearly deserve one, so long as we never have to talk or think about whatever the heck that was ever again.”

Leo smiled and handed over the food.

“Deal.”

Prev - Next - Masterpost Ao3 Link: Here Please check out @zee-rambles who came up with this challenge and look at @rise-april-art-challenge to see more submissions by other fans. Please give me feedback if there is anything I should work on.

Rise April Challenge 19: Baby

Prev - Next - Masterpost Ao3 Link: Here

A thick blanket had been thrown over the cold tile floor of the kitchen, images of dinosaurs and volcanoes spread across its surface. A few stuffed animals and some of Donnie and Mickey's old fidget toys had been spread across the blanket. Mikey lay on his stomach, his upper half resting on the blanket while the rest of him hung off.  

The box turtle stared wide eyed at the four small forms crawling around on the blanket in awe.

When Draxum had called and explained that Mikey’s brothers had been transformed into children, Mikey had thought that he had meant ten to twelve. Not literal babies.

He could hear Splinter and Draxum arguing in the room over, but from what he could tell it was mostly just worried shouting with a few insults. Nothing that really needed Dr Feelings’ supervision. Besides, he was too busy staring at the little baby turtles crawling around on the floor.

They were so... tiny. Leo and Donnie could sit in Mikey's cupped hands, and while Raph was a bit too big for that, being twice the height of the other two. Mikey wondered how their dad had raised them without worrying about stepping on them.

Raph was currently chewing on the paw of a teddy bear, that he was cuddling with. Donnie had gotten hold of one of Mikey's old slinkies and was rolling it forward and back from where he sat with a look of very serious concentration. Leo on the other hand was giggling and trying to work the buttons on a fidget cube but that was the size of his chest. Mikey just stared at his little brothers.

Little brothers. Mikey had little brothers.

Holy cow, Mikey was a Big Brother!  

The thought made him squeal with overwhelming giddiness and excitement. He knew that this wasn’t going to last very long, Draxum had said that they should be fine by tomorrow, but still!

Donnie made a small quacking bark as he pushed the slinky too hard and it rolled farther away. The baby turtle wobbly stood up and stumbled towards the toy.  Leo stopped and looked over at the noise and, seeing his brother, he dropped the cube and crawled over. Just as Donnie had reached his toy, Leo stood up and with a smile and a loud squeal, leaned forward and fell on his brother in a hug/tackle. Donnie yelped and grunted as he tried to wiggle out from under his red eared brother.  

The noise broke Raph of his cuddle with his teddy bear. He stood and walked over to his brothers, much steadier than the younger two. He leaned over the wriggling mass and wrapped his arms around them and picked the twins up and held them to his chest, which just made the noise louder.

Raph then looked over at Mikey and held up Donnie and Leo with a proud look on his face while the other two just stared.  

Mikey wasn’t going to make it! This was it!  

The now eldest sat up and reached over, grabbed them all and placed his brothers in his lap. Donnie had settled and seemed resigned to the cuddle fest and just glared at them all. Leo settled across his twin’s back, rubbing his cheek across Don’s soft shell, and closed his eyes. Raph just sat up and swung his tail back and forth letting out happy chuffing purrs. Mikey just smiled and tried to keep from squirming in joy. Then he reached over and grabbed his phone, opening the camera.

He was going to tease them so much when they were fixed!

Prev - Next - Masterpost Ao3 Link: Here

Please check out @zee-rambles who came up with this challenge and look at @rise-april-art-challenge to see more submissions by other fans. Please give me feedback if there is anything I should work on.

Rise April Challenge 16: Mask

Prev - Next - Masterpost Ao3 Link: Here

(This is a bit of a long one, but I think it’s worth it. Also, I go to make April say “bitch” so that’s fun. Warning: Feels Ahead!)

The Boys were acting weird. Which was quite a feat considering that they were mutant turtles, trained in the art of Ninja-ing. April wasn't even counting the fact that they were teenagers. In April's experience, all teens were weird. So yeah, the boys were acting stranger than normal. 

It started when she went to meet them on the roof of her current job. Raph arrived first and gave his lovely snaggle tooth grin. 

"Hey, big guy!" She calls out, waving him over to sit next to her by the small wall that went around the edge of the roof. "The others on their way?" 

"They stopped by Run of The Mill to get us some pizza." He said, sitting down and crossing his legs. 

"Cool." She responded and opened her phone, expecting Raph to do the same. 

But when she looked up a few seconds later he was staring at his lap, the place where his eyebrows should have been furrowed in concentration. He was thinking very hard about something, and when Raph was thinking hard about anything it was normally meant bad news. 

"You good over there, Boss Man?" April asked. The mutant jumped a little and snapped his head towards her, a big smile twisting his face. 

"Yep! I'm good! Why wouldn't I be good? I'm the best at being good!" Raph said, words rushing out like water out of a firehose. 

...Yeah, something was definitely wrong. April put her phone down and turned to face him. 

"Come on, bud. What's going on?" she asked and tried to look him in the eyes, even as the snapper nervously turned his head away from her. "You always say that you're here for all of us, no matter what. And you know that we would do anything for you."  

Raph softened at the girl's words. He shifted and squirmed, and though it was hard to tell with his green skin, April thought she saw him blushing. She waited and didn't look away, trying to project a calm and loving aura. The turtle finally sighed and faced her. 

"I'm Ok, April. Raph promises." His smile was softer now, more real and relaxed, and April knew that that was the best she was going to get. She patted his arm, scales smooth on her hand. 

"Alright, but just know that we're here if you need help. Or if you just need to talk." She leaned back against the wall and picked up her phone again. It's best not to push her friend unless he really needs it. 

"What's your favorite color?"  

The question was sudden and so different than what they had just been talking about it took a few seconds for April's brain to process it. 

"...It's yellow, why-" She was cut off by a loud whoop and the sound of skateboard wheels, and when she looked over Leo was jumping over from the neighboring roof with a pizza box in his arms. The skateboard flipped under him and rolled across the roof as he landed next to them. Mikey and Donnie shortly appeared next to him, 

"It's Pizza Time!" Leo yelled and that was just enough of a distraction that by the time they were all settled, April had forgotten the strange question.

-

The second time was with Leo. 

They were having a makeover day, with different types of eyeshadows, blush, and nail polish spread all over the living room table. It was hard doing make-up on someone who was green, but Leo looked great if April did say so herself. They were munching on candy and watching some stupid internet challenge video, while waiting for their nails to dry when Leo asked the question. 

"So what do you use for your pigtails?" She blinked and turned to him. 

"What do you mean?" Leo had his look that he always used when he wanted to look natural but was really after something. 

"Just, you know, you always complain about how hard your hair is to style. But it always looks fabuloso, So, you know, I just wanted some tips." Leo flashed his sparkling teeth at her like it would distract her from how weird his question was. 

"You don't even have hair. What do you need tips for?" 

"Casey said that Mikey had hair in the future. I'm hoping it will grow in." April narrowed her eyes at Leo, who was examining his nails with a clearly fake casualness.  

Well... it wasn't like it was personal or anything. 

"I can't wear hair ties because my hair is too thick, they always snap and they're a pain to use. I normally just use some ribbons to tie them up." Leo smirked 

"Wow. You're sweet, strong, pretty and with a bow on top!" April shoved him away.  

"Oh, come on that was a "ribbon" good one." Uuuhhhh, why her?! 

"Ow! Alright, alright I'll stop "ribbon" on you. OW! Ok, I'll stop! Wait hold on-WAIT! APRIL, I'M SORRY! UNCLE! UNCLE!"

-

Next time was with Donnie.  

April knew the soft shell had problems with boundaries, they've had to have several interventions to explain to Donnie that "It doesn't matter if you think you know better, you can't mess with our stuff without asking." Or "I know that you wanna keep us safe, but you can't tag track us without telling us." But it was normally alright. Donnie just needs some help understanding some things, and he usually said he was sorry, even if he still insisted that he was in the right. But April had thought that Donnie at least understood the basics of social etiquette, like not digging through a girl's closet without asking! 

But when she entered her bedroom after a long day of work, there he was: sifting through her shirts with his back facing her, and with a pile on the bed that was not there when she left. 

April closed her eyes, took a deep breath in, held it, and slowly let it out and relaxed her shoulders. She gently set down her backpack and opened her eyes. 

Then she took a flying leap and tackled Donnie to the ground. 

"OW! APRIL?! You're home early. How was- OW!" April wrestled the turtle into a chokehold, holding him down as he struggled, and she hit his chest with all the rage she could muster.  

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU ASSHOLE?!" 

"Wait! April, Stop! I can explain-" 

"EXPLAINE?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" 

"Currently, I'm being beaten by a small, angry, teen-" 

"YOU DON'T JUST GO TROUGH A PERSON'S CLOSET! THAT OFF LIMITS!" 

"It wasn't like I was looking for your underwear! I was just looking at your shirts!" 

April stopped and glared down at Donnie squirming in her arms.  

"You got one chance to say something that will fix this, or I will be giving Leo an airhorn, and telling Mikey that you need more therapy." Donnie stilled. 

"You wouldn't." 

"You wanna test that?" April said, gritting her teeth. "Try me, Bitch."  

Donnie sighed in defeat. 

"I just wanted to get a sense for your style." 

What the heck? April let go of Donnie and crossed her arms. 

"Why?" 

"Style is an important part of expressing yourself, it reflects how you want others to see you, as well as what other factors like personality, overall mood, values-" They were getting too far off topic. 

"Yeah, I get all that. But why do you wanna know all that?" 

"...To be a better friend..." Donnie said with a fixed and stiff smile. April didn't stop glaring. Donnie drew back a little but stopped. The smile dropped and was replaced by a regretful look. "I'm sorry, April. I get that I was wrong and shouldn't have done that. I swear that I wasn't doing it to invade your privacy and I do have a reason. I just... can't tell you right now. But I promise I will! And I also promise that I will never do this again." 

April sighed and uncrossed her arms. She was still angry, but she had an apology and Donnie did promise. 

"Fine. But this is the only warning you'll get, and you owe me big time." 

Donnie smiled, a real one this time. It was soft and grateful, and felt so sincere that it threw her for a loop when she saw it. It didn't feel like it matched the situation at all. 

"Of course. Anything you want."

-

The third time was with Mikey.  

She had woken up in the middle of the night to find him hanging upside down outside her window, tapping on the glass. She stumbled out of bed, and towards the window to open it. 

"Mikey? What are you doing? It's late." 

"Sorry, I just needed to ask you something." 

... 

... 

Why did it have to be April? 

She thought about just slamming the glass in his face and going to bed, but, knowing Mikey, that would not deter him. So, she just sighed. 

"What is it?" The turtle dug around in his pockets and shoved two small squares of fabric in her face.  

"Which do you like better?" He asked, smile never leaving his face. She was too tired of this, but she still reached out and felt the squares. 

"This one," she said holding one up. Mikey took them back and nodded. 

"Great. Thanks, April. Night." He vanished into the shadows and was gone. 

April shut the window and fell to bed, too sleepy to care what on earth that was all about.

-

The last time, it was with all of them. 

A few days later, she walked into the living room and found the four brothers sitting on the floor in silence. 

Raph had called April a few minutes and asked her to head down to the lair as soon as she could, that it was important. He had said that nothing was wrong when she had asked, but with the way they were all gathered in a semicircle with serious looks on their face it felt like they wear going to tell her someone died. 

What was happening?!

April walked and sat down with a thump in front of them and narrowed her eyes. The tension in the room was thick, but she wasn’t going to back down from whatever this was. She would face it head on and beat it into submission. She wouldn’t run, not from her friends, not from whatever this was. 

“What’s going on?” she asked, staring into each of their eyes. They stared back. 

“We wanted to give you something,” Raph said, sounding calm and centered. But there was a lilt to his voice, a quake that made him sound... nervous? 

The red turtle reached behind him and handed over a flat white box. April took it and saw Mikey wriggle out the corner of her eye.   

This felt... big. Like some kind of old sacred ritual. It felt as though there was something else in the room, a presence that made every move seem purposeful and heavy. It made her hair stand on end.  

April placed the box in her lap and looked at the brothers. Each of them was turned away and... blushing? 

Screw it. She’d just have to rip the Band-Aid off. 

She opened the box. 

Inside, was a mask.  

She froze when she saw it, its long tails spread out and the eye holes stared back at her. 

It was yellow.  

“What’s your favorite color?” 

She reached down and touched it. She knew this fabric. 

“Which of these do you like better?” 

That wasn’t all that was in the box though. There were also two long, green ribbons, knotted at the ends, and strung through a beaded charm, that glinted in the light. It was the symbol of the Hamato Clan. 

“We were thinking you could use them for your hair.” Leo said, his eyes locked on the floor and skin a bright pink when April whipped her wide eyes up to look at him. “Because you can’t wear the mask all the time like us.”  

"So, what do you use for your pigtails?" 

“We wanted to make sure it could be something you could wear without it looking out of the ordinary for you.” Donnie added, scratching the back of his hand. 

"I just wanted to get a sense for your style."  

April looked down at the box in her hand. Her hands trembled. 

This was-

Her vision blurred. 

So, all this time it was-  

Her throat went tight. 

She had called them her brothers before, had called them her family. But she had always worried that she was wrong, that it was just her that felt like that. But this was an undeniable confirmation that yes, you are Hamato. You are our sister. We love you.

“It’s ok if you don’t want-” She lunged forward before that sentence could be finished and wrapped them in a hug. She clung to them desperately, trying to pull them closer and closer. She buried her face in someone's chest and sobbed. Tears and snot ran down her face as she kept whispering: “Thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you, thank you.” over and over again. 

The mask lay on one floor, having fallen out of its box, and the two charms glinted like distant stars. All the while, the Hamato Clan children hugged and cried together. 

Prev - Next - Masterpost Ao3 Link: Here Please check out @zee-rambles who came up with this challenge (you can blame them for the feels) and look at @rise-april-art-challenge to see more submissions by other fans. Please give me feedback if there is anything I should work on.

Rise April Challenge 15: Buddy

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Ao3 Link: Here

Buddy really liked his friends. They were fun, and always fixed him up when he got torn up. They were great!

Sometimes they got torn up too. But it was different than when he was ripped. A bit of tape and paper and he was fine, but his friends didn’t work like that.  

They leaked when they got a tare, apparently it was called “bleeding,” and they needed to wait a long time to get better. Thankfully Blue-Friend was very good at fixing human rips and holes, they also were harder to rip them than Buddy.

But there was another thing that was different.

He had been confused when his Orange-Friend made a huge amount of noise as Blue smeared a green cream over his fingers. When the smaller one had yelled as he ripped his hand from the hot pan, Buddy had thought that it was to call the Blue one to help. But even as he was getting fixed, Orange kept yelping and shouting. Why? Blue was already here.  

It had been very confusing.

-

He ended up asking Red-Friend. It was hard since he didn’t know how to say a lot of words, although Purple-One was teaching him more.

“Hey, Buddy. What’s up?” Red asked as he walked into the dojo.

“Buddy!” The paperman said. He found out that his name was also a used to say friend. That was very fun! He waited till he was closer before beginning to piece together his question.

“Why... do... Orange... make noise... when...” Buddy paused, trying to grab the word. “...he touch... hot?” That worked.

Red furrowed his eyes.

“When he got burned?” Burned! That was the word. He’ll try to remember that.  

Buddy nodded.

“Well, it hurt. That’s kinda what you do.”

Hurt. That wasn’t a new word, Buddy had heard it before, but he didn’t know what it meant.

“What... ‘hurt’?”

Red looked shocked, before shaking his head.

“Right, forgot that you don’t know this stuff. Hurt is... uh, like when you feel pain.”

“Pain?” He didn’t know that one.

“It’s like-” Red started but stopped and stared at Buddy. Buddy stared back. “Do you... like feel pain? It’s just that your paper and-” He stopped again, and Buddy just waited. “Pain is like when your body is yelling at you. That something is hurting- uh, that something is wrong. Do you... have that?”

Buddy thought about it. He always knew when something was wrong with his body, but it never yelled at him. (He thinks Red meant that part ‘figuratively’. (Good word, Buddy!)) It was just him knowing that it wasn’t right.  

He eventually shook his head.  

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. Don’t worry about the noises, Buddy. It’s just something we do.”  

Buddy nodded and left to go think.

So, his friends got “hurt” and felt “pain.” That did not sound fun. Buddy thought of other times his friends were hurt. He recalled their scrunched-up faces and the ugly sounds they made. He thought of the way they squirmed, trying to get away from their rips, or how they clenched their teeth. He decided that he didn’t like seeing his friends be hurt.  

But if it was bad for him to see hurt, was it worse to have pain?  

Buddy decided that he was happy he didn’t have pain, and he was also going to make sure that his friends didn’t need to get pain.

Buddy smiled tucked away this line of thought and wondered off to see if anyone wanted to play a game with him.

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Ao3 Link: Here

Please check out @zee-rambles who came up with this challenge and take a look at @rise-april-art-challenge for more submissions from other fans. Feel free to give me feedback if I need to work on anything.

April Rise Challenge 13: Umbrella

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Ao3 link: Here

Leo had been reading one of his comics when Donnie had barged in with a wide look in his eye.

“Woah, Hermano,” Leo said, catching his twin as he almost slipped and fell.  “What's got you in such a rush?”

Donnie's wide eyes turned to the slider, and he bared his teeth in an excited smile.

“Leo, it’s a Rain Day.”

Leo froze, and then his eyes bulged out.

“Really?! You’re sure?”

“Even if it wasn’t for my super advanced and accurate weather predicting system, I can see the storm clouds.” Leo broke into a smile and let go of Donnie so we could hop from foot to foot, whooping loudly.  

Rainy days were not unusual in any sense of the word. But Rain Days were different. They were only held on days when the water came down in sheets and the thunder rolled loud enough to drown out the city traffic. Rain Days only happened when there was a storm, and they were the best brother tradition the four of them had.

“How long do we have?” Leo asked, already looking around for his raincoat.

“About two hours,” Donnie responded. “So, we need to be ready in an hour and a half to get there in time. You-”

“Yeah yeah! I got this!” Leo cut in, scouring under the bed for his umbrella. “Take care of your own stuff, Tello!”

Donnie shrugged and rushed out of the room to get ready on his own. Leo felt giddy as he ran around, for once mad at himself for not keeping his room cleaner.

-

Within the hour, the four turtle brothers were all gathered at start of a long sewer tunnel. They were all dressed in rubber raincoats with either hoods or in mickey's case a rain hat. Raph had a bag under his arm that held towels and snacks, and each of them had a different colored umbrella. Mikey was bouncing on the balls of his feet, gleeful and unable to stand still.

“We all told dad where we’re going, right?” Raph asked glancing around.

“Of course,” Donnie said.

“Then let’s go already!” Mikey yelled, breaking into a sprint down the tunnel. The others quickly followed suit, whooping and hollering in excitement and anticipation.

It didn't take them long to reach the end of the tunnel where a large sewer grate was swung partially open. They all slowed as they neared it, allowing their noises to fade away into a heavy almost silence. They listened closely, but despite the heavy gray sky and the smell of electricity in the air, all they could hear was the distant sounds of the city.  

Raph reached out push the gate the rest of the way open stepping in the fresh air, and walking out of the tunnel to be bathed in the bit of sunlight that could peek through the wall of clouds above. The others followed behind, pulling their jackets tighter at the frosty cold.  

The outside of the tunnel was a long concrete canal that was far away from the rest of the city. The brothers walked silently down watching their breath appear in the cold air and float upwards. There was a rumble of thunder, and the boys stopped and waited. Leo felt the first drop of water land on his nose.

“It’s starting.” Leo said, and Mikey squealed in excitement. They all opened their umbrellas and continued walking.

By the time they reached their destination the rain had been consistently falling for a couple of minutes. A strange drum of water meeting plastic meeting each of their ears as the umbrellas prevented them getting wet.

Their destination was a small ladder that went up the side of the canal. Raph had already started climbing it, but Mikey couldn't wait any longer and simply ran up the side. Leo wanted to roll his eyes at his brother's enthusiasm, but he didn't want to be a hypocrite, so simply followed Raph up.  

On the top of the canal there was a singular huge tree, the last of the autumn leaves still clinging to its branches. In front of it was a shallow pit that they had dug when they were younger. It was big enough that Raph could lay down inside of it without having his feet hanging out. The bottom of it was coated with smooth rocks, and it was already filling with a shallow amount of rainwater. Mikey was sitting up in the branches of the tree, his umbrella hanging upside-down by its hook while he smiled down at them. The remaining three brothers sat beneath the tree branches and watched the sky, quietly waiting for the real rain to start. It didn't take long.

The sky opened and dumped the water down, thunder rolled loud enough to drown out the noise of the city, and the wind blew so hard that their umbrellas quickly became useless. Leo threw his up to Mikey who hung it upside down on a different branch than his own, which was already overflowing creating waterfalls down to the ground. The other two umbrellas swiftly followed. They hung like ornaments, catching the rain. It was a good thing that Donnie had reinforced all their umbrellas so they wouldn't break under the weight of the water.  

Once it was done Leo turned to the shallow pit which was filling up quite nicely. He smiled, stood up, walked to the edge, turned around and spread his hands.

“RAIN DAY!” he yelled, and on cue the thunder roared. Leo leaned back, allowed gravity to take hold, and fell shell first to the man-made pond.

The water was shockingly cold, and Leo was going to need a good cup of coffee after this was all done, but it felt heavenly.  

No matter how old they got, or how human they could act, some part of the Hamato brothers would always be turtles. It was a fact that could have been uncomfortable if they had not grown up with it. And on Rain Days four would allow themselves to be weak and indulge in the joy that rain brought to their amphibious minds.

As Leo sat up from the water, he heard his brother's yell and watched as Mikey ran and jumped into the water that came up to the box turtle’s knees.

Mickey wasn't an aquatic species of turtle, but for some reason he still loved Rain Days. Maybe it was simply hanging out with his brothers, or maybe he just enjoyed the rain for a normal reason. It didn't really matter.  

The youngest brother yelped and jumped at the temperature, making Leo laugh. While the other was distracted, the slidder reached over the side of the pit and grabbed a fistful of wet sticky mud. He aimed slowly as Mikey tried to get feeling back in his feet, and just when the orange turtle turned to him, Leo hurled it right into his face. It landed with a wet splat and Leo laughed at the look on his brother's face.

“So... You have chosen war, brother?” Mikey asked, and Leo knows he should be afraid but all he can do is smile and meet the challenge.

“Bring it.”

-

The day is spent with the four of them flinging mud and each other and splashing in the achingly cold water, and by the end of it they're all shivering with slightly blue fingers. And towards the end as the storm dies down, they all lie on their backs with their eyes closed underneath the old tree and feel the droplets fall on their faces until they decide to go home.

When they get back home, covered in mud and soaked to the bone, they'll take a lukewarm bath and sit with a hot drink under their heating lamp slowly bringing feeling back into their limbs. And the week will be filled with them complaining about their runny noses and how cold they all still are. But in the end, they'll be back to that old tree and shallow pit on the next Rain Day.

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Ao3 Link: Here

Please check out @zee-rambles who came up with this challenge and look at @rise-april-art-challenge for more submissions by other fans.

(Sorry I haven't been keeping up with this, I had a lot of schoolwork that needed to be done. I will be working on catching up with this.)

shoutout to blogs who post mcyt and rottmnt stuff (not apart of mcyt really but has friends who are VERY into it)

Im magnetically pulled towards silly red characters with sharp teeth

hope and sacrifice.

I need to expand on this more on here because I'm going insane thinking about this.

the main themes in the rise movie center around hope and sacrifice. hope, being a ninjas greatest weapon and what leo ultimately uses to get the team motivated, and sacrifice which leo actively uses. these two concepts are interchangeable and are used to develop this unhealthy view of being a hero.

leo being the prime example of this.

leo is notorious for being a martyr in the movie not because he wants to be self sacrificial and thinks he deserves it (although a small part of him might think that) but because thats what he's been taught and grown up to think. of taking responsibility. of allowing to take hold of the "burden" of caring for his team, for his brothers. he must sacrifice a part of himself in order to be a worthy leader. no more immature pizza stacking competitions, no, leo must sacrifice that part in order to mold into being a leader. he must sacrifice his childhood.

its no surprise leo wants nothing to do with this idea, its no surprise he's constantly rebelling against this notion and not taking it seriously because as much as we have seen leo act dumb and immature, we know that he is smarter than he acts. he knows that being a leader is sacrificing the part of freedom he loves so much. the part that can joke around with his brothers and can allow himself to easily fight off bad guys without worrying because thats not his job. he's just leo.

thats raphs job.

raph has sacrificed this part of himself. his identity is surrounded by being the oldest, being the responsible one, having the "raph chasm", being the leader. raph was born as the eldest son to take the responsibility and with little to no help from splinter (because lets be honest raphs relationship with his brothers is also very parental), raph has had to create this idea of what being a leader is not only to himself but for his brothers. he has created the mold of being a leader from shows, from experiences, from being the oldest. he must sacrifice a part of himself, a part of his freedom, a part of his childhood, in order for his brothers to be safe.

and now his younger brother is being pushed into this with little to no warning.

(now I could go on and on about how the season 2 finale was the catalyst for raph and leos bond and brotherhood to slowly unravel BUT thats another thread.)

the rejection of the leader position from leos perspective makes so much sense. leo is still a kid. this responsibility isn't for him, he's not equipped to make these decisions. thats for raph. thats for the oldest.

which makes why raph is so upset with leo in the beginning of the movie so much more real. all he's known is this great weight of carrying the burden and guilt of his brothers and the actions that could cause them to get hurt, he has taken the fall, taken the blame, and has done so without faltering (kind of). although leo is the "faceman", all of the brothers show some sort of mask to hide behind in an unhealthy way. donnie hides behind his science and his title of being the "smart one", mikey hides behind the fact that he is the youngest and his many dr. personas. leo and raph both hide behind some form of bravado that masks the fear they have for their brothers and their safety. raph uses his anger while leo uses his laid back attitude. both are hiding their fear. their both scared.

this is where hope and sacrifice begin to blur.

casey jr. introduces us to the idea of hope because he essentially is the human personified version of hope. he is future leos last hope. he is what is left of an entire civilization that has now been destroyed. but what is hope without sacrifice. casey jr. has witnessed both future mikey and future leo sacrifice themselves for the greater good. for hope. since this is all casey jr. has ever known, especially with how he grew up (another major theme but ill talk about that another time) the idea of sacrifice is hand in hand with hope. with winning. with being a hero.

so when leo comes back after raph sacrifices himself so leo can escape, casey jr. is more thrilled than anything that they have the key. because they "won", because raph sacrificed himself, because hope is nothing without sacrifice.

and this is again another reason why leo begins to put the two together and create his own warped idea of being a leader.

being a hero.

learning about his future self, of how much casey jr. idolizes him and calls him "the greatest ninja the worlds ever seen", of how he was a leader and led the entire revolution. of how he saved the world by sacrificing himself. its only until raph does the same does the gears begin to turn.

being a leader is about sacrifice.

and so getting thrown into the prison dimension is the responsible thing to do. its the right thing. its the sacrifice that someone like leo believes is what a leader would do because yeah leos the leader now and leaders do whatever they can to make sure their team is safe.

that their brothers are safe.

the words "its not about me" play into this mindset and although by the end it helps leo learn that he needs to put more trust in his brothers and allow the burden of being a leader to fall on more than his shoulders, "its not about you" is exactly the mindset that raph had in the beginning of the movie. and because of this, raph and leo both are stuck in this cycle of responsibility and freedom. of having to navigate between wanting to sacrifice their future of being heroes in order to just live like normal people for a few minutes or sacrifice their own individuality to bare the weight of the world on their shoulders. and with their situation of being literal mutated turtles created only to become super soldiers, they automatically are deemed special and were brought into this world in hopes of fighting against humanity.

A ninjas greatest weapon is hope after all.

Raph!! From rottmnt :D