Spilled Journal - Blog Posts
“I love lilies. Blue lilies but they are so hard to find…”
Were the words that he told me the moment I asked him what he adores the most. It took me a while to make his vision my reality and I am so happy how it turned out.
I know his admiration and love for Vincent Van Gogh, and how he collects every little piece that he finds that resonates with the artist. Because of his biased nature for Vincent’s aesthetics and of course his love for lilies, I crocheted Starry Night themed lily bouquet for him, with two sunflowers that resonates the moon and frame of the painting.
I know he will love this more than anything and I hope to make him smile just the way he will when see these flowers I made for him.
The word 'prodigy' never found its way near my name. Yet, all I hear from peers who used to be proud, now concerned, is ' you know too much.' And I ask, and I cry.
Did I fly too close to the sun again, Father? Am I falling?
- reign
I think that once you've hurt someone enough times, you don't deserve to come back into their lives, apologizing for your actions over and over again. At some point, it stops being them and it starts being about you. At some point, you owe it to them to stay gone.
- @annetries-towrite
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I often imagine my life in my late 20s, having my dream career, living with my future partner, and being happier. Then I remember it's all under the assumption that I have time to grow. What if I need to step into my power sooner than I'd like? Life is not guaranteed, and time won't hold your hand. Am I ready for that?
- @annetries-towrite
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Hi, I'm Anne!
A handful of my posts are from a period of my life when I aspired to be a novelist. I will not delete those posts, so feel free to scroll if you're curious.
My desire for writing has not wavered, but my career path has changed. I still have so much I want to talk about and so much I wish to share with whoever wants to listen.
I never thought of myself as the protagonist of any story. I just thought myself as a side character and that made people treat me like shit and me taking it without any complain but finally I understand that if I consider myself a side character I don't have to please everyone like the protagonist or keep good relationship with them. I don't have to matter to them to matter to myself. I can be happy with myself even with the feeling of being little alone.
Sometimes I think that we are so affected by movies and tv and the false reality in which we see all the characters telling the protagonists why they matter and sometimes explain the meaning behind their actions and the protagonists just find themselves and does what they expect of him/her or just does his/her own thing but in real life this shit doesn't happen. People just tell you what you want to hear and not what you need to hear and they don't care what's the meaning behind your actions or how you are and no one shows this except a few shows or movies and that really confuses us because what we all are waiting for, the epiphany or realization it just doesn't come. You have to think about all your actions and choices of all time and learn through them that why you did what you did and who you really are. And it's not gonna be one specific thing because humans are too complex of a species to fit into a word, sentence or anything that can be explained.
The forget-me-nots aren't blooming.
They wither on the sill
No amount of water
Could ressurect them still.
The sunlight shines enough for them,
But all I think to do
Is to let them die right there
Like my relationship with you.
She is like the ocean
Her waves as soft and calm
Brushing my ankles
Like kisses at dawn
She is like the ocean
The towering frozen sea
Where the waves as tall as mountains
Threaten to topple me
She is like the ocean
Dark, at times, but brave
Stronger than I ever was
And soothing through the days