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Spoonie - Blog Posts

8 months ago

playing a fun game of anxiety or new chronic illness symptom


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8 months ago

some guy invited me to go clubbing with him and his friends... i tell him i would go, even though it's not something i usually do, but i couldn't drink because of the medication i'm taking/health issues

he looked at me and just went "oh maybe some other time then"

and my question is why? WHY am i required to drink to hang out with people? and if that's just a rule then there won't be some other time, because i got a chronic illness and not just a cold


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8 months ago

should just start whacking peoples shins with my cane if they stare at me


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8 months ago

my mom told me she doesn't know what to do anymore with all the different health issues i got... which is like fair enough, but i wonder if she realizes how i feel and how draining it is to actually go to all the different doctors appointments


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8 months ago

can't completely stand upright rn, but i'm still gonna try to function tomorrow (we'll see how that goes)


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8 months ago

overdid it today... will suffer the consequences later


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8 months ago

healthy people will never understand the amount of joy i feel when i come home dreading having to feed myself to then realize i still got leftovers


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8 months ago

naptime does become mandatory again when you're chronically ill


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8 months ago

i'm so tired of feeling sick all the time

i don't want to be miserable... i wanna worry about things that other people my age worry about and not how to manage doctor appointments... i want a doctor to actually help... i wanna feel okay and not be scared of dying


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8 months ago

they CANCELLED the cardiologist appointment i was waiting for for OVER HALF A YEAR!

i was waiting for over an hour just to have someone come up to me to tell me they have to cancel and that i should call in 3 weeks to make a new appointment

the medical system is fucking bullshit and neglectful


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8 months ago

casually having a low symptom day the day of a doctors appointment


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8 months ago

gonna start answering "i hope you get better" with "thanks, i probably won't"

like i hope so too it's just not realistic rn


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8 months ago

i wish stores would have more places to sit and rest for a little

like pleaseee i don't wanna pass out on your floor


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8 months ago

i need people to understand that when i say i can't do something it means that i can't do something, it is not up for discussion


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8 months ago

i just went climbing today which is something that will probably send me into a flare up, but omg it was so much fun...

i wish i could do things like that without consequences


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8 months ago

love the random wave of nausea that hits me multiple times a day /s


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8 months ago

feeling hungover and drunk at the same time eventhough i didn't drink and am actually just chronically ill


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8 months ago

why tf do people think i am joking when i say i am chronically ill and then continue making fun of it as if it's nothing apart from some silly little joke

this is my fucking life, it shouldn't be a joke to you, you shouldn't assume i am lying just cause you can't tell i'm chronically ill just by looking at me when i don't use my mobility aid


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8 months ago

i'm just gonna pretend when people stare at me in public/their heads turn when i walk by it's because i'm pretty, not because i use a cane


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8 months ago

watching other people just live their life doing things you don't know if you'll ever be able to again...


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8 months ago

going to school with a chronic illness really is a gamble sometimes


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8 months ago

"you complain a lot" when i haven't even told them half my symptoms and mentioned not feeling well two days in a row


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8 months ago

one good thing about being chronically ill that i learned about this week is when you need to drive your friend to the hospital for drinking too much alcohol you know your way around and exactly where to go


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8 months ago

i would like to cancel my chronic illness prescribtion... i need to get things done


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9 months ago

i once asked a teacher to leave the room cause i was feeling like i was about to pass out so i wanted to lay down, he said yes, but after class came up to me telling me i should see a therapist because this seems like a serious mental problem.

SIR i am chronically ill...

i told him this is a physical condition and he said he doesn't believe me and doesn't wanna hear excuses


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9 months ago

me casually overdoing it on a low symptoms day and then wondering the next day why i feel bad

(will i ever learn? probably not)


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9 months ago

asking for accomodations shouldn't be this emberassing and shouldn't be a big deal and i shouldn't feel this guilty for needing them


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9 months ago

everytime i feel something even just mildly wrong with my body for more than a few minutes i immediately panic thinking that this might be a new chronic symptom...

which sucks, because that makes my heart rate go up with then causes even more of my regular symptoms

how do i get rid of this anxiety about new symptoms?


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