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Touch-starved Logan x I have made it my personal mission to invade every bit of personal space you will ever have in you life Wade
I love the general consensus that Logan is a grumpy cat Wade pulled from a random.dumpster because it is such a good analogy.
Logan acts a lot like a cat and we all agree on that but the comparison between his universe and a dumpster is just *mwah* chef's kiss.
In his universe, Logan is at the bottom of society, a fallen hero ostracised by the people he used to protect (dumpster) and then one day Wade came and took him away, rescued him from the things that were opressing him. In this universe there is nobody that will call him a friend killer or make him responsible for the death of the X-Men because jere it didn't happen.
Of course it's a bit of a mind fuck but Holy shit. Logan's just been handed an entirely new chance at life...
Logan 100% gets jealous of Mary Puppins.
Wade always showers her with compliments, kisses her little head and lets her climb on his lap. The merc will do everything and more for that little dog and Logan wants all that attention for himself.
At first, he can't really identify the feeling as jealousy, so he just ignores the feeling and then one day, it hits him. Wade has just started his usual shtick of coddling Dogpool and is letting her slobber all over his face and Logan realises that he has never wanted to be a dog more than right this moment.
Whenever Wade shows up, Logan does the little mrrp thing cats do when they see things they like.
He tries to do it all quietly, but at some point, people start noticing and calling him out on it.
Logan: *Pupils blown wide, full attention on Wade, 5 seconds away from purring*
Laura: You're in love with Wade aren't you?
Logan: *blushing* No.
It's honestly a little embarrassing when someone wakes me up in the middle of a vivid dream and for the first few minutes of wakefulness I'm still in character
On this week's episode of Things That Will Never Not Be Funny
Censoring something that is completely harmless but you personally hate passionately by replacing a vowel with an asterisk
Phen-228 isn't short for Phenomenon-228. It's actually short for Phenelope-228.
I'm convinced that the TruMoo chocolate "milk" they serve at my school is why its failure rates are so high. There's no way it's not poison.
"cheese is the most stolen food in the world" factoid actually just a statistical error. average person steals zero cheese per year. Dr. Two-Brains, who is part mouse & steals over 10,000 pounds of cheese each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Pros of seeing yourself as a hive mind of all your trillions of cells: good reason to refer to yourself as "we" and "us" (very cool)
Cons of seeing yourself as a hive mind of all your trillions of cells: feel guilty whenever you remember how many thousands of cells you lose every second (very sad)
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minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags
windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)
FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)
image to 3d effect gif
vaporwave image generator
microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)
you're welcome
"I was born in the wrong era" bad for you I suppose! I was born in the wrong universe and I think about that fact everyday and I long for the day I might go back to my real home ^u^
Favourite narrative tropes:
“That was ONE time!”
“Due to an administrative error”, or any major plot point which is caused almost entirely by bureaucratic fuckups
“Contrary to popular belief” appended to something that’s either really obvious or completely subjective
A character makes an assertion, then cut to the narrator contradicting it (‘“Everything’s fine!” Everything was not fine.’)
First-person narrators who call a specific character by a series of increasingly convoluted nicknames
Unusual narrative euphemisms. I still hold that describing around a curse word is almost always funnier than just using the word.
Establishing character moments which subvert your expectations right from the get-go. The best example is in the Brooklyn Nine Nine pilot, where Jake’s fooling around at the crime scene before revealing that he’s already solved the case.
Montages. Just montages of any kind, for any reason, anytime. I actually think they work better in text form because you can do so many creative things with them.
Side characters with a level of fourth-wall awareness / quasi-supernatural ability which is never quite certain, like the janitor in Scrubs.
Double meanings in narration that take a while to make themselves clear.
Really, really specific similes.
i love prince eric. from the little mermaid. he’s hilarious. because he seems like one of the most mild-mannered and unassuming princes in the disney canon, but he is also one of the few to actively kill the bad guy. most disney villains die by consequence of the final battle but are not directly killed by the hero/heroine. most of them fall to their deaths or cause their own demise, and sometimes the hero is indirectly responsible because they’ll launch them into that direction or something, but they still don’t bring knife to heart directly.
but then a couple do. and prince eric is my fave out of those few because up until the final act, he is the most chill motherfucker u ever seen. like he is quick to spring to action during the storm scene n stuff, but otherwise? he’s really quiet n sensitive and runs along the beach playing the flute for his big shaggy dog n he smiles like a lil nerd and gets all cute around ariel and he’s so sweet n everything.
AND THEN IN THE FINAL BATTLE THAT MOTHERFUCKER STRAIGHT UP DRIVES A SHIP THROUGH URSULA LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!! NO WONDER NO ONE IS TRYIN TO LAY SIEGE TO HIS KINGDOM!! ALL THE NEIGHBOURS ARE LIKE “HOLY SHIT DON’T GO THERE! PRINCE ERIC IS A BEAST! HE’LL STRAIGHT UP DRIVE A BOAT THROUGH YOUR BITCH!”
i love him
When I’m in the shower:
mmmmMMmm. That’s some fine quality singin’ right there 👌👌👌👌👌MMMmm... I could be a professional.
In the real world:
WhaAT IS THIS UNHOLy SCREECHING??
shout out to Karl Urban as Eomer for giving one of the most heart wrenching cries ever produced in cinematic history where you can essentially feel the anguish and shock that he is going through to find that his sister was on the battlefield, and is now injured, presumably dead. words cannot describe his pain.
imagine your OTP
hackers: ok lets see what he’s doing through his webcam hackers: …….what the fuck, he’s just crying
Humans Are Weird
So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather?
What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving.
I'm fairly new to rebloging so I hope it's okay I'm adding to your post.
I just wanna share my experience with top surgery and having doubts before hand:
I started working towards getting top surgery when I was around 18 and because I was still in school and live (plus the fact this shit just tends to take forever) I only slowly got everything together for the surgery.
That meant I started the process 4 years before my actual surgery date. When I started I was fairly sure but the closer I got to the surgery the more doubts started to occupy my brain. I had a lot of therapy in the meantime and started liking myself more, which is good. However it unfortunately had the negative side effect of a part of me using this as an argument against top surgery. Because if I can learn to like myself I can learn to be okay with my boobs right?
I still don't think that's wrong, I think that yes I could have learned to be okay, be neutral towards my boobs instead of the major dislike that fueled my decision 4 years prior to walk down this path.
However despite that argument I decided to stick with my decision and get top surgery. And let me tell you: I'm so glad I did.
Because after nearly 8 months I can say with no doubt it was the right decision for me. It was the right decision not because I couldn't have accepted my boobs at some point but because without them I'm happy in a way I didn't know I could be with my body.
I look in the mirror and I get this happy giddy feeling in my stomach of seeing myself in a normal ass T-shirt but flat. I am overjoyed at dressing up fancy because it means I get to wear all the cool dress shirts I aquired over the years that finally look exactly how I also wanted them to look like.
Even my friends and family told me that the way I look makes more sense kinda. Like I look more like myself than before. Which yeah I do because I didn't feel comfortable with my boobs but also because even if I would have been alright with them I would never felt as enthusiastic about them as I do about my flat chest!
Having had top surgery made me happy and feel home in my body in a way that I didn't fully grasp beforehand. And I am so happy I stuck with my decision and didn't let the doubts get to me ^^
the good news is this *probably* won’t actually push back my timeline for top surgery, but I still let myself have a little tantrum about it because we respect all feelings in this house
Guy who is touch starved but emotionally repressed goading you into punching him for completely normal reasons
*flirting with an older man* when i was born you had already attempted suicide once
“I can fix him” I couldn’t fix him and I don’t want to. I think he grew prone to biting and scratching in order to get by in a harsh world, and to me his resilience is part of what makes him so beautifully himself. I could be kind to him, though. I could show him gentleness. I could, slowly but surely, in the same way one earns the trust of a skittish stray cat, convince him that my touch will never come accompanied by pain. That, around me, he can allow himself to be soft. To relax. I could be the one he associates with warmth and safety, the one he longs to be held by after a hard day. I could be his home.
[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories
My new favorite hobby is weaponizing my Mom Friend status against my male coworkers, of which there are a surplus because I am A Woman in The Trades. It's hilarious to me. I have been the Mom Friend my entire life and working construction means I've expanded my territory from Mom Friend to Site Mom by virtue of always knowing where things are and also having pain meds and general life advice if you need any. Do you know what happens when you are so aggressively mom-shaped despite not even being 30? All the young guys I work with have subconsciously put me in the mom category of their brains. Do you know what that means? I live and work in the American South. These guys have been raised both socially and culturally to Respect All Mom Figures and I've snuck myself into that classification like a cuckoo in the nest. Like, listen, I can take it and dish it out with the best of them and I'm "one of the guys" 97% of the time, but I have my limits. If they're being dicks to each other and I'm tired of it all I gotta do is look really disapproving and scold them with some classic Mom-isms and it will stop them dead in their tracks. It's a total short circuit of their brains. Not one of these guys has withstood my telling them "manners are free and it costs nothing to be kind." Sometimes I just give them a look and say "Really?" in that tone of voice all moms use when they're completely fed up with you and it makes them straighten up in 10 seconds flat, guaranteed. It's psychological warfare of the highest order. One time I jokingly pulled out a "I'm so disappointed in you" after hearing this barely 18 year old tell some story about being obnoxious in an online game voice chat and it was very obviously a joke but somehow it rattled him so much AT WORK that he later told me he stopped doing it. It's a perfect storm of factors and literally all of them are in my favor. Should I care more about not enforcing gender stereotypes, especially in such a male-dominated field? Probably, but let's be real, the power has completely gone to my head.
I just… really love this meme… I’m so sorry. And yeah I used a DP related text post on a picture of Danny - I’m so sorry.