Tw Sh Implied - Blog Posts

WOAH ART!!!! So pretty! Love how the hair is shiny!!

Painting I did ig?

Emicole but I made them CoS </3 doomed toxic yuri my beloved

Vent art

I'm going to sleep now

Crap! Forgot to mention that these are my vent sonas... so if you see a post about them, it's definitely a vent.

Have you ever forgotten to do your English homework and the teacher gets pissed off at you so they decide to call your grandmother who works at the school as is the HOD[Head Of Department] to deal with you, then she gets pissed off and beats the living soul out of you, makes you fall of your chair 3 times, some of your classmates giggling, some of them refusing to look at you or disappointed in you and you wanna jump of the edge of the school's corridors and try and self harm yourself and become extremely depressed to the point you think life is not worth living anymore?

No?

Okay then…

WARNING:

OD MENTIONS; SH & SUI TALK

I keep seeing these posts on my feed saying things like “Please stay alive. It doesn’t matter if it’s for spite or for your own enjoyment. Just live.” Or something like that. As much as I want a reason to live and enjoy life, even if it’s to spite others…. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.

I’ve made lists of ways I could kick the bucket and so far I can’t even settle on what I wanna do if I do give up. I would’ve OD’d long ago if I wasn’t told that I could kill half my brain and leave myself paralyzed if I were to survive.

Death doesn’t even sound satisfying anymore because in general, I’m worried about how much I’ll make my parents pay out of pocket for things like my funeral n shit, and I don’t know how I feel about being put in a box 6 feet under. Plus I just don’t wanna give my parents an even harder time by doing it. They’ve already been through enough, especially my mom.

I mean the first time I told anyone how I truly felt, it was my brother and the poor guy started crying, something I haven’t seen him do in years. YEARS.

I just want someone to understand my internal suffering for once and not disregard it as me being too negative and overly dramatic for once, because so far the only proof I have of how bad it gets is in my arms. Literally. But I don’t want anyone to see that shit. I want people to know I never was ok, and I probably never will be.

If I can’t be normal like I want to be, I wanna at least let people know that I’m not a deranged freak and that I have my reasons to act the way I do.

TW: implied self-harm

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We all create art using our pain. The difference is in learning to paint the canvas and not the skin.