Remember That "three Items From The Store To Make The Cashier Most Uncomfortable" Meme? Apparently I

I want to be an evil wizard. but I keep choosing kindness

HEY

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shlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorp Drink water today shlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorp

honestly even the highest concept sci-fi seems tame once you learn BioSteel™ Goats exist irl

“Moooom! …can you get my toy for me?” (via qoolove520)

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

Agates carved into orange slices by wutong_crystal_carvings.

Source: x

do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot