I Thought My Laptop Was On Its Last Leg Because It Was Running At Six Billion Degrees And Using 100%

Patch Notes:

Nerfed the "Tuna trick" that was unintentionally letting players skip past the sphinx without listening to her riddle (we spent a lot of time making riddles for you 😡)

Improved the Cyclop's field of view by 12% (big thanks to Optomitism92 for the 40 pages of forum posts about eye lenses)

Mummies will now spawn with big naturals and wolf cuts regardless of gender

Nerfed compound interest (vampires)

Nerfed stock market (vampires)

Added more rivers (vampires)

The Pharoah's Curse is now a stacking debuff for each additional stolen artifact in the player's possession (England shall be buried in sand🙏)

Added more beetles

Kid Pix just became pubic domain, so the remade (but pretty much exactly the same) version is now available here. It's uh, wild, highly recommend checking it out not only for the wonderful nostalgia but you can legit make some incredible looking stuff!

FIND IT HERE

affirmations

i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature

i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths

i am building a machine greater than myself

i am able to make phone calls and appointments

HEY

WAIT

STOP SCROLLING !!!!

shlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorp Drink water today shlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorpshlorp

bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

you gotta be able to say "die"

you gotta be able to say "suicide"

you gotta be able to talk about "sex"

they're uncomfortable topics, YEAH for SURE

because LIFE is uncomfortable. Death and suicide and sex and pain are straight up going to happen. not having words for the way it discomforts you doesn't make it more comfortable, it just makes you less able to reach out about it.

even more vital, you gotta be able to say words like "rape", "abuse", "queer" or "racist". cause we fought fucking hard to name those experiences. to identify "rape" as distinct from "sex" and "racism" as distinct from "acceptable behaviour" and "queer" as distinct from "invert"

like the function of communication is not to minimise immediate discomfort. we gotta be able to talk about stuff that's hard or sucks or causes difficult conversations.

honestly bedsheets are developing new topologies and geometric forms in the middle of the night and nobody knows why and its really scary

we must act fast to revitalize the ecosystem by reintroducing megafauna. i suggest the tarasque. just a suggestion. i have 30,000 tarasques ready to go as soon as yuo give the word mr president. don’t be a coward sir. 30,000 tarasques. thiink of your country

told my parents i miss archaeology and my mom was, very sympathetically, like: “do you want to dig holes in the garden?” and i was like. yes. i want to dig holes in the garden.

Even without words, we communicate through our eyes.