As I Sit Alone In The Darkness, Tears Stream Down My Face As I Fight To Keep From Falling Apart.
As I sit alone in the darkness, tears stream down my face as I fight to keep from falling apart.
All the questions and emotions of us flash through my mind as I rest my face in my hands.
For so long, all I wanted was your love and to spend my days and nights being loved by you.
But no matter how hard I tried to be what you wanted, regardless of how much I wanted us to be happy together.
It never really happened the way I had always hoped.
I don’t know if you just don’t care, don’t realize or don’t want me…you never actually told me what you wanted.
It’s a hard thing to be stuck in a place of uncertainty when it comes to matters of the heart-
Especially when all I wanted was to love and be loved by you.
I know now that I have to turn the page and close the chapter on you and me.
If there ever really was a “you and me.”
I’ve known for the longest time I deserve better but I was so scared to move on, fight for what I wanted or lose you.
But now I realize that I never really had you to begin with.
The idea of “us” was really just wishful thinking..so it’s time to let go of all the hopes and dreams I had for us.
And finally move on and be happy on my own.
It’ll be hard, I know, and I’ll shed a lot of tears as I do what I have to do to let you go.
But as I wipe away the tears from my face, I look outside and see the sun shining brightly.
I’ll get there, I know.
That place where I can think about you and not cry.
When I can get up in the morning and be happy it’s a beautiful new day.
I’m far from that right now, but I’ll get there.
I can’t fight for someone who won’t fight for me.
Who makes me work just to get their attention.
I deserve better and I’ll find it.
But first, I’m going to work on myself and do whatever it takes to be happy by myself, for myself.
It won’t be easy, it won’t be fast,
But it will be the best thing I’ve ever done.
Love myself for the person that I am because in the end, that’s what truly matters the most.
I’m closing the door on you and opening the door to my happiness.
One moment, one step, one day at a time.
- Abdullah.
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A story doesn't exist unless it's Told.
Look her in the eyes when you run your hand up her thighs, because her desire is in the connection. Don't be surprised, when she shivers and sighs, intimacy is your most dangerous weapon.
Kiss her real slow, and kiss her down low, you don't have to be on top to make sure you're in charge. Run your hands through her hair, till she's so close to there, then hold her close as she falls off the ledge.
Make her scream out your name, till it drives you insane, and you both lay spent on the bed. Don't even think that I'm done with you yet.
This goes to .....
I still love you, but I’m setting you free.
You know how deeply I cared for you, don’t you?
You must know how many silent tears I shed, how many nights I wished you’d realize that indifference wounds more than words.
I never asked for much—just to be seen, to be felt, to be loved the way I loved you.
But instead, you made me feel invisible, even when I was right beside you.
I still love you, but that love no longer chains me.
It no longer keeps me stuck in a one-sided battle—where I was the only one trying, hoping, believing.
I won’t ask for your time anymore.
I won’t ask for your attention anymore.
I won’t ask for love anymore.
I won’t ask for honesty anymore.
I won’t ask you to choose me anymore.
I won’t ask for anything anymore.
I’m letting you go—not because I stopped caring, but because love was never meant to be this painful.
Maybe one day, you’ll understand what you lost.
But by then, I will be somewhere far away —where love is not pleaded for, but given freely.
Abdullah.
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.
Light Always Wins.
When you wake up, before getting out of bed, close your eyes and whisper to yourself, “Thank you for the gift of this new day.”
You woke up. This is a new day. You can use the teachings from yesterday to make new decisions, take aligned actions, and use your breath to live fully in the moment.
Your breath is your superpower. It keeps you alive.
So use today like this:
When you begin feeling overwhelmed and stressed, simply pause, take a few breaths, connect back to the moment, and begin again.
(Life is a gift. Wake up every day and realize that.
#Abdullah
A story doesn't exist unless it's Told.
A story doesn't exist unless it's Told.
𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿'𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲. 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲:
ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕥𝕙 & 𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤:
* 𝗘𝘅𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆.
* 𝗘𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗽𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘀, 𝘃𝗲𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘁.
* 𝗗𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗱𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘀.
* 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁.
* 𝗤𝘂𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗺𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗵𝗼𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.
* 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.
ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝔾𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕥𝕙:
* 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗯𝗯𝘆.
* 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀.
* 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲.
* 𝗩𝗼𝗹𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆.
* 𝗦𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀.
* 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆.
ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕣 & 𝔽𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖:
* 𝗚𝗲𝘁 𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲.
* 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆.
* 𝗥𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗯𝘁.
* 𝗜𝗻𝘃𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁.
* 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗵𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.
ℝ𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡𝕤:
* 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀.
* 𝗕𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀.
* 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘆.
* 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀.
* 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀.
𝕋𝕚𝕡𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕤𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕖𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕠𝕝𝕦𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤:
* 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲. 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 "𝗘𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗲𝗿," 𝘁𝗿𝘆 "𝗘𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁 5 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗿𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘃𝗲𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆."
* 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲. 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗮𝗺𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻.
* 𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗺 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗱𝗮𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲.
* 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸.
* 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝘂𝗽. 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀. 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗸𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴.
𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴.
𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗹𝘂𝗰𝗸.
#𝕬𝖇𝖉𝖚𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖍
"Perhaps, somewhere, someday, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again"
- Abdullah.
"Perhaps, somewhere, someday, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again" - Abdullah.
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