Rb If You Were/are A Gifted Kid I Wanna See How Many Of Us Ended Up Here

does anyone actually ever refer to matt with a pronoun in canon. this is a sincere question

reblog with a spoiler for your wip with zero context. no context allowed.

i want to write some matsuda/near because i can and i have some free time. it is hard to pick myself up to do smth though 😒

He felt this since childhood. Everyone is looking at him. When he was outside, he felt everyone's gaze on himself. It made his skin crawl. Despite the fact that every time he turned around to realize that no one was actually looking, he couldn't shake off this feeling. That horrifying thought always gnawed on his sanity. Everyone — every single person — is looking at his clothes, monitoring his footsteps, listening to his voice; everyone would not miss the chance to devour him the moment he slips up, the moment they see a flaw, a mismatch, inaccuracy. He felt like he was under constant scrutiny.

He had learned to live with it. His every thought, his every action and every word must comply with strict guidelines the society has set, must add to his perfect image and not subtract from it. In a new place he must choose the only correct path out of millions possibilities. One that would make him seem like a good person, good, trustworthy and righteous man. One that would earn him being treated with humanity and respect.

The feeling followed him into adulthood. Now, when he had taken on William's name, he must control his image with even more scrutiny. Is his voice low enough? Is his stance too relaxed? Does his body look normal enough? When he first saw himself in the mirror, the person he must be, he stopped eating. One pound of fat could ruin this perfect image. Two weeks later Louis force-fed him, muttering something under his breath. William only smiled weakly and fell asleep in the plate of Louis' stew. He wasn't able to fight off his own mind any further.

He started doubting himself. Rather, he never stopped doing that since he had learned that important thing about himself. A child, he immediately doubted the conclusion he had reached. He had heard that people like him are abnormal, insane. No matter how much efforts he put into complying with society's own guidelines, that same society would push him away. He had heard that people like him are killed. He had seen that many times.

His reflection isn't his anymore. He's just pretending. Putting on someone else's skin with that someone else's clothes, hair and mannerisms. Nothing was his. He has just borrowed his skin. It looks out of place on him. Everyone can surely see that. The longer he looks in the mirror, the more he feels sick. Everything he has grown to consider his doesn't belong on him.

"Brother are you alright?" Louis asks with audible concern and wraps his arms around William's shoulders. It's somewhat soothing.

He forces himself to close his eyes and tries to smile. He is sure that it looks forced and tight. Because it's just not her face.

ohhh, i have just pissed off a good chunk of russian fandom and got told to a) lock myself up somewhere and throw away my phone, b) visit a psychologist, c) kms.

another thing they said is that we're not in english fandom. my friends told me that i should post it here. so i will. after i translate it.

and remember, not all in our fandom are like that. no. idiots are just a bit more socially acceptable there.

reblog if you think aros and aces (or anyone on the aroace spectrum) are queer

trying to prove something to my mother ^^

Day 7. New World

the end of the space au (even though i could've written more about that)

Been seeing a lot of mpreg lawlight fics in my ao3 feed lately. Not that that there's anything wrong with that, but it has brought up a good question, because Light makes everything into a battle of wits. So consider:

Would Kira, if pregnant with ANYONE'S child, get an abortion? Consider Light Yagami as a character and his responses to situations. If he has to get pregnant there's no way hes not making it about him again

(fuck them kids is yes, yeah why not is no)

As requested, the private message relayed to B on 14/03.

Day 4. Deception

may I offer you another platonic ship in these trying times

I really need to write something romantic just to push myself out of my comfort zone, but yeah, here's plot

a short summary:

Near marvels at spacecrafts. Near commits crimes. Near doesn't miss Light.

Day 6. Proximity

Light and Near were close. not emotionally, no, but it certainly felt closer than being systems apart.

Takada and Light were close. not close enough, not close enough never close enough