Afoxofcosmicproportions - Too Many Ideas, Not Enough Head Space

I want you to remember:

The fascists hate you too and they just will pretend otherwise until after they've killed the rest of us, before they turn on you.

You draw one of your characters once and suddenly you want to draw them all....I don't have the time

In Regards to Wyll's Content Disparity

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

I don't think some people realize how it feels to be a black gamer in the context of Wyll's content disparity. Intentionally racist or not, the fact that he continues to be overlooked and disregarded by the Devs is really disheartening. As a black gamer (and please note I am speaking for myself and do not represent the wider black gaming community, don't read this as that) I feel just as overlooked and disregarded as Wyll currently is.

Wyll is a great character. I absolutely adore Wyll. But he feels under baked. And this sucks because you see a pattern in media where black characters (especially black female characters, but that's a conversation for a different day) aren't as fleshed out as white characters. They aren't given the same love and care as white or white coded characters and, therefore, the fandom doesn't reciprocate with love and care towards the black or black coded characters. So of course, this reads as people not caring about them, so the writers don't bother to fix them or give them more.

It is a vicious cycle that we see often where they make Wyll, butdon't put as much work into him, so the fandom doesn't like him as much, so they don't think they need to put more work into him. They put more love and care into the white/white-coded characters because that is what the predominantly white fandom wants.

But as they do that, the black fans and the fans that enjoy Wyll as a character are ignored. Their voices are drowned out by the majority and I cannot tell y'all how shitty of a feeling that is. As a black woman, I have constantly been talked over, ignored, had my ideas repeated by a white person and have them take the credit, etc. So seeing Wyll and Wyll fans being ignored, talked over, white counterparts getting the attention sucks.

I get enough of that shit in real life, I don't want to have to deal with that in all my fucking hobbies.

As a black gamer, this makes me feel as if I don't belong in this fandom. It makes me feel like the devs and the writers don't want me in this fandom. It makes me feel like I'm not welcome to play this game, that I'm not welcome to like this character over others, that I'm not able to bring my experiences as a black woman and a black gamer to this game because the main black character is treated like they don't matter. It makes me feel like the writers didn't want to put in the work for this black man and felt like no one would notice or care. That no one but black folks would mind and who cares what black folks are saying?

Again, this is all my opinion and its a bit rambly. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this that really is a culmination of various things involving being a blerd and black geek in predominantly white fandoms.

But I think it's important to recognize that people are impacted by this and it sucks for a lot of black folks in white dominant spaces to continue to have to fight for crumbs at the table during Black History Month in 2024. We should have good, fleshed out characters, that are respected and cared for by their creators and by the fandom at large. I really hope Larian puts in the work for Wyll and a lot more people can see how cool a character he really is. He deserves the same amount of love and care as the other origin companions.

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

future archaeologists will know you were (not) a boy

Me: Yeah so I haven't been able to focus or really do anything for the last month. I also feel like I'm just a walking apathy dispenser

My Therapist: Yaknow, that sounds an awful lot like depression

Me: But I still have happy days

My Therapist: You just told me that the happiest you've been in days was went you went grocery shopping yesterday

Me: ...

My Therapist: ...

Me: ...

My Therapist: ...

Me narrowing my eyes: I hate when you do that....

My Therapist: I know

Reflection Farm Diary

So Spring 8 got off to a very weird start....

Firstly, it's raining today! Which means for once I don't have to water my crops manually (thank the gods). I also got a letter from a wizard in the mail the morning. Apparently he knows how to help with the weird things I've been seeing in the old community center.

So that's the first thing I did this morning. I went over to his tower on the edge of the forest to see what he had to say. Ngl I find it weird that all wizards live in towers. Like isn't it drafty and musty in there?? Anyways, he let me in and said he could help.

He told me that apparently those little things I've been seeing are sprites called "Junimos". He even showed me one up close! Their a lot cuter than I thought, like tiny little balls with legs! I then told him about the strange note I found in the Community Center last night. He said he'd take a look and then just DISAPPEARED!?! I was so confused. I know wizards can do magic so he probably just teleported over there but at the time, I was just so shocked. Worse yet he just left me standing there, in his tower, alone...I went to go looking around, just so see if he had anything cool (I wasn't going to steal, just look, I swear) when he just waltzes back in through the front door and starts talking again like nothing happened??? Scared the crap out of me doing that. Like I get it dude, you're a wizard, but give a girl a warning next time please??

Anyways, he told me he deciphered the note but that only someone "In harmony with the forest" could read the language. And I'm standing there like, "How am I supposed to be in harmony with the forest??? I was working an office job literally last week, this is the longest I've ever been in nature in my life!" So I go to ask him how I can do that, expecting to get given a quest (wizards do that right? giving people quests sounds like a very wizard thing to do). And then he goes, "here, drink this!" and hands me a cup of this gross looking (and smelling) green liquid straight from the cauldron in his living room. I drink it anyways because its probably easier than a quest, and omg it was horrible. I felt sick, I wanted to puke, and worst of all I started hallucinating flying pine trees!!! Next thing I know, he's kicked me out, I'm coming off the worst drug trip I've ever had, and now I'm soaking wet because its pouring rain!

But hey, now I know how to read Junimo so I guess it worked out.

The rest of the day I just spent clearing the farm and running errands. There are a lot of stray trees and branches and rocks everywhere so I want to get those cleaned up. I really want to build a coop soon, so I need the space. I also got some geodes processed at the Blacksmith's (his name is Clint, he seems nice) and donated some minerals I found in them to the museum.

That's all for today, I'm exhausted. Taking care of a farm is so much work! (Still less soul crushing than an office job though). Tomorrow, more clearing land and preparing an area for the coop!

Cyan you later!~

-Ellie

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.