Arthur: šš Merlin: š Gwen: š
MERLIN | 1x09 "Excalibur"
one of the best academic paper titles
were we just kids, just starting out
Hopper accidentally becomes the biggest ally in Hawkins out of hatred for Mike Wheeler. El wants to date Max? Perfect, Mike is terrified of Max. El wants to date Max and Lucas? Even better, more people to keep Mike away. Will comes out to Joyce and Hop? Hopper is immediately studying up on gay culture and flagging so he can find him a Hop ApprovedTM boyfriend. He sees that nice boy Gareth cuff his jeans one time and starts inviting him to family dinner. Mike seems annoyed that Steve is spending more time with Munson? A pamphlet titled āAccepting your Bisexualityā finds its way into Steveās jacket pocket. Hopper has never seen Mike as furious as the day Steve and Munson arrive at dinner holding hands. Itās a good day. Hopper isnāt sure how Nancy dating the Buckley girl will annoy Mike, but heās willing to give it a shot.
So do we just all agree that the knights absolute love Merlin the way cat owners love their cats?
Knights, holding up Merlin from under his arms: so this is Merlin and heās so nice and we love him.
Merlin: *is actively breaking the law by existing* *has literally killed people* *drops branches on peoples heads* *and even tried to kill the king*
Knights: heās just a funky little guy :)
I would even bet money he knocks glasses off tables when he wants to annoy someone (Arthur-)
dumb love, i love being stupid, dream of us in a year. maybe weād have an apartment and youād show me off to your friends at the pier. i know, ābaby, no attachment,ā but weāre⦠knee deep in the passengers seat and youāre eating me out, is it casual now?
ābut like⦠why not just tell him?ā robin asks. theyāre laying on their backs on steveās floor, side by side, legs tangled together while a fleetwood record spins out the low sounds of stevie nicksās voice. āyouāre already banging, so whatās the point? youāre practically dating.ā
āwhat? no.ā steve replies, taking one last hit from the joint theyāve been passing back and forth before handing it back to robin so she can drop it into the ashtray near her elbow. āitās not dating. itās strictly sexual.ā
āyouāve never in your life been strictly sexual with anyone,ā robin snorts.
steve scowls. this is kind of a sore subject for him because yeah. heās never done this casual thing before and heās never really wanted to. he doesnāt even really want to now.
heās silent for so long that robinās perfectly capable of understanding exactly what heās thinking. āoh,ā she breathes out. āoh no.ā
āstop, please. it was mutual.ā steve doesnāt even sound convincing to his own ears.
āokay. yeah. sure.ā steve hates how much she sounds like sheās trying to placate him.
āitās really not a big deal. itās fine. weāre having fun. iām having fun.ā steveās embarrassed by how rehearsed he sounds.
āyeah, no, totally. for sure.ā
they lay there without speaking again for a long time after that.
~*~
āgod, youāre so cute, stevie, cooking me breakfast.ā steveās standing in front of the stove in his kitchen a few days later when eddie comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist, nuzzling into steveās neck. steve canāt help the smile that spreads across his face.
ādonāt get too used to it,ā steve tells him, plating the first batch of french toast. āwoke up early enough to eat before work for the first time in, like, three months.ā
āwell i appreciate it,ā eddie says, letting steve turn in his arms. steve canāt help himself; he leans in for a kiss and eddie returns it enthusiastically.
eddieās never spent the night like this before. usually heās out of the house before steve wakes up in the morning. most of the time he leaves before they even have the chance to fall asleep together. steve tries not to take it too personally. eddieās a busy guy and what theyāre doing is nothing serious. eddie had been sure to make that clear the first few times theyād seen each other naked.
steve tries not to read too much into it as eddie takes the plate from his hands and pulls himself up to sit on the island countertop just across from where steveās leaning next to the stove with his own plate. he tries not to get his hopes up but he canāt help the flutter in his chest and the butterflies in his stomach as they eat breakfast together before he has to go to work. he tries his best to ignore the pull he feels toward eddie, the way his hands itch to plant themselves on eddieās hips and pull him in. he pushes down the disappointment that arises when eddie changes out of the sweats heād clearly taken from steveās dresser drawers and back into his own clothes. he ignores the tiny little pang in his chest when eddie says goodbye and leaves, even though steve has to leave for work in ten minutes anyway. he tries to ignore the little voice in his head that points out that eddie doesnāt even kiss him goodbye.
~*~
it goes on like that for a while. eddie starts spending enough nights at steveās house that steve canāt help but become hopeful. he has his own green toothbrush sitting right next to steveās red one on his bathroom sink. his hair has started to smell like steveās shampoo. eddieās stopped insisting that theyāre just casual every time steve leans in for a kiss. sometimes they donāt even fuck, they just fall asleep together watching a movie, with the tv playing softly in the background.
steveās not delusional. he knows that itās not a relationship. but that hope is back and heās helpless against its forces building inside him every time he says goodbye to eddie at his front door. his t-shirts have started going missing, ones with hawkins high emblazoned across the front, ones that he knows robin wouldnāt be caught dead in. eddieās the only one who could be taking them, but steve canāt figure out why heās being so secretive about it. he still hasnāt been able to catch him at it. but it has to mean something, right?
steve starts to let himself fantasize about what could happen if he just confessed to eddie. if he just admitted, once and for all, that heād never wanted to do this whole friends with benefits thing that eddieās been insisting on. heās not totally sure that eddie would be a hundred percent receptive, but itās only happening in his own brain, so he can have the ending he wants for now.
ājesus, dingus, what the hell is going on with you lately?ā robin asks, sounding irritated as she comes to stand next to him behind the counter at family video. āiāve been trying to get your attention for ten minutes.ā
āwhat? sorry.ā steve drags a hand across his face. ājust thinking.ā
āoh really,ā robin snorts. āabout what?ā
ājustā¦ā steve sighs. āremember when we were talking a few months ago?ā
robin raises her eyebrows at him.
āi mean, you know. about eddie.ā his voice drops into a whisper at the end, as if eddie might be hiding behind one of the vhs displays, even though itās a tuesday morning and the two of them are alone in the store.
āoh. yes. i remember.ā robin sounds just a tiny bit apprehensive.
āwell⦠i think somethingās changed.ā
āchanged? how?ā
āi mean, heās started sleeping over my house a lot more. sometimes we donāt even⦠you know. have sex.ā he whispers the last two words, looking over his shoulder. āi think heās stealing my t-shirts.ā
āokay,ā robin draws out the second syllable, elongating the āaā sound, making it clear that steve has to be a bit more specific.
ādo you think he⦠i donāt know. do you think maybe he wants something more? like, maybe to date? or like, whatever.ā steve runs a hand through his hair nervously. this is the first time heās admitting he wants something more out loud.
robin considers for a long moment. āhonestly, i donāt know. iāve never made it past kissing anyone before.ā steveās shoulders slump. ābut thereās only one real way to find out.ā
āhow?ā steve grunts, even though he already knows the answer.
āyou gotta talk to him, man.ā steve groans. āi know, dingus. it sucks.ā she reaches out to rub his back, an attempt at comfort.
it almost works.
~*~
steve thinks about it for a few days. about three weeks ago, eddie had started kissing him goodbye every time they parted ways at steveās front door and he hasnāt missed a goodbye kiss yet. that has to mean something. it has to.
itās a movie nightāeddieās choiceāwhen steve finally gathers the courage to say something to him.
ācan i talk to you?ā steve says, sounding far more confident than he actually feels. heās pulled his legs up under himself on the couch and turned sideways to stare at eddieās profile.
āum, yeah,ā eddie replies a bit distractedly, eyes glued to the tv screen as he reaches for the remote next to him. he pauses the film and only then does he turn to face steve. he smiles, dimples showing. āwhatās up, stevie? i donāt pause the thing for just anyone.ā
that makes steve feel a little less nervous. it feeds the hope in his chest. he runs a hand through his hair. āokay, well. i was thinking about, like, what weāre doing.ā
āwhat weāre doing?ā eddie tilts his head to the side just a little, looking confused.
āyeah, like. you know. youāve said you want to keep things casual but i was thinking that maybe we couldā¦ā steve trails off, unsure of how to continue.
āwe couldā¦?ā eddie prompts, but heās starting to look a little apprehensive.
āi mean, i know you said that you donāt really do the non-casual type of thing or whatever, but i was thinking like. i donāt know, that we could, like, go on a date? maybe?ā steve hates how unsure he sounds at the end, how his voice turns up at the end.
eddie just looks at him for a long moment. āi thought we were on the same page, steve.ā
okay, heās not āstevieā anymore, but maybe this is just a miscommunication.
āwe were,ā steve responds, swallowing hard. āi mean, we are. i think.ā then he corrects himself. āor, uh, thought.ā he looks down at his hands for a second and takes a deep breath before speaking again. āi really like you, eddie. and i want⦠i donāt know what i want but i know that i like you a lot. and i donāt want to be just friends who sleep together.ā
āso,ā eddie speaks slowly, still looking just a bit confused, āyou donāt want to sleep together anymore.ā he doesnāt really say it like a question, more like heās not really all that surprised.
āno, i meanā¦ā steveās feeling just a little frustrated with himself. āi like that part. that partās, like, really good. i just⦠i want more than that.ā he runs his hand through his hair again. āi⦠i guess want to be your boyfriend.ā
eddie laughs then and it makes steveās chest feel hollow. eddie must see something on steveās face because his laugh cuts off abruptly. āsorry, man. youāre serious?ā eddie sounds almost disbelieving. steve can only nod, his throat tight. he definitely does not want to cry in front of eddie right now. āoh. well. um. i donāt reallyā¦ā steveās heart drops and the little bubble of hope that had been building since that first time eddie had stayed for breakfast abruptly bursts. āiām sorry, dude, i genuinely thought we were on the same page. iām notāthatās justāā eddie clears his throat. āthatās just not really something i want.ā
steve has nothing to say to that. he supposes that eddie had been honest from the beginning and that he was the one who hadnāt been truthful so he canāt even really be mad.
āright,ā steve responds, avoiding eddieās eyes. āsure, okay.ā
āi think iām gonna go for now. but iāll see you around, okay, stevie?ā steveās eyes snap up to eddieās face and eddieās eyes are wide and panicked. he looks like a cornered deer. a part of steve canāt help but feel sorry for putting that look on eddieās face.
āyeah, okay. see you.ā steve tries to smile at him, maybe to reassure him, but eddie doesnāt even look at him as he gathers his shoes and keys before leaving.
once eddieās gone, steve sits there for a long moment, wondering where heād gone wrong. maybe he should have waited until a little bit later, when they were upstairs tangled up together and he could distract eddie with kisses. maybe he should have waited until breakfast, when eddieās soft and sweet, warm from sleep. maybe he shouldnāt have said anything at all.
steve turns off the tv and goes upstairs to bed alone for the first time in a while.
thereās a part two already half written so no worries, i only write happy endings (except that one time).
Eddie's hanging out in Family Video during Steve and Robin's shift, just being a general nuisance, when it begins.
The other two are talking in low voices in the back corner, discussing something Eddie can't hear. Normally he'd get up and go over there, insert himself into the conversation, command their attention, but he's too busy judgmentally rifling through Family Video's paltry horror movie supply to care that much.
He sneaks a glance over, and then he sees it.
Steve presses a kiss to Robin's forehead.
Eddie has to drop the tape he's holding before he does something stupid like break it out of jealousy.
And he knows, okay, he's heard it no less than eight million times, they're platonic with a capital P. That doesn't stop the little green monster in his chest from rearing its head.
It doesn't stop there, either. Eddie starts to see Steve kiss the rest of the Party. Simple little forehead kisses and temple kisses and kisses on the crowns of their heads, like he's their parent, which, well, he is. He does it when Dustin needs comfort. He slings an arm around Lucas and pulls him close for a kiss on the temple when Lucas makes a particularly good shot for basketball. He does it to Max, on one of her bad days. He even does it to Mike absentmindedly, who makes a feral screech like an angry cat before everyone starts to laugh at him. And of course, he and Robin are always all over each other.
But he won't kiss Eddie.
It's stupid that he expects it. They don't know each other. Steve's been with this group, been saving them from monsters and scientists and torturers for forever.
Eddie still wants in on it. If only to indulge his pathetic little crush on the former King of Hawkins High.
One night, Steve hosts a movie night, and Dustin invites Eddie along. He goes, because of course he does, and takes a seat on the end of the couch as Steve puts in the tape.
Eddie immediately forgets what the movie is, because Steve sits down next to him. His entire brain is a fuzzy kind of static that only intensifies when Steve scoots closer.
"Sorry," is the first word Eddie registers out of Steve's mouth, and he hastily tries to collect his thoughts. Steve moves closer, which doesn't help.
He peers around Steve and sees the kids all trying to squish onto the couch. "Scoot over, Eddie!" Mike shouts, and Eddie moves as close as he can to the arm of the couch. Steve follows, arm around him and thighs pressed close together.
Okay, then. Eddie can die happily tonight, apparently.
Something jumps at the screen, and Steve flinches.
Eddie learns a new thing about Steve that night. Apparently, when Steve gets frightened, he pulls everyone within reach towards him, like he's trying to shield them with his body. Eddie finds himself hugged to Steve's chest and has to employ breathing exercises to get rid of his new little...problem.
He somehow makes it through the movie without spontaneously combusting, a feat nothing short of a miracle. The kids run to the kitchen and Eddie can hear Dustin pick up the phone and say, "Hello, Paulie's Pizza?"
Steve sighs and gets up. "I did not say they could order pizza," he grumbles. He extends his hand to Eddie, and after a second of bewildered staring, Eddie manages to grab it and pull himself to standing.
Robin's sitting on the couch still (she had been on the other side of Steve), and she watches this interaction with an unreadable expression on her face.
Well, unreadable to Eddie, anyway. Steve and Robin proceed to have an entire conversation with just facial expressions, and Eddie is left in the dark about it.
Steve finally rolls his eyes and stalks into the kitchen. He distracts Dustin with a kiss on the top of his head, then steals the phone. "Hi, yeah," he says, and Eddie recognizes that voice as his King-Steve-takes-what-he-wants voice. "No, that's right. Two medium pepperoni pizzas and a side of garlic knots, yep."
He listens, then says, "I'll be over to pick it up," then places the phone back on the receiver with a click.
"I'm going to get the food." he announces to the room at large. "Eddie, you coming?"
"Sure?" Eddie slings his leather jacket from the back of one of the kitchen table chairs and slides his sneakers on.
The drive is quiet. Multiple times, it looks like Steve wants to say something, but he never does. When the two of them walk in to get the pizza, Steve grabs both boxes. "Can you get the door, Eds?"
Eddie wants to tease him about the new nickname, but he chooses not to, opting instead to nod and say, "Sure thing, Stevie." He pulls open the glass door and says, with a mock bow and a grand gesture, "Your majesty."
Steve rolls his eyes. "Thanks." He (finally!!) goes to kiss Eddie.
However, Eddie is not as short as the kids (and Robin) who Steve normally does this to. Eddie's pretty sure the kiss is supposed to land on his forehead.
It lands on his mouth.
Pretty shoddy kiss, as it were. Mostly, Steve kisses the corner of Eddie's mouth.
Both of their faces burn red. If not for Steve's sports-playing, monster-killing reflexes, the pizzas would be on the ground right now.
"Sorry!" Steve says, hurrying out to his car and tossing the food in the backseat. "Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."
Eddie slides into the passenger seat. "Finally!" he says.
"What?"
Eddie rolls his eyes. "Steve, I've been the only one who you haven't been bestowing kisses upon for weeks now. Sorry if I'm excited to be included in the group."
Steve starts the car. "But...those are all platonic kisses."
Eddie scoffs. "What, and kissing me wouldn't be?"
Steve is silent.
"REALLY?" Eddie yells. "Wait, wait-" He leans over the center console. "Steve Harrington, if you wanted a kiss, a romantic kiss, you could have told me before cuddling with me all night!"
Steve sighs. "Fine. Eddie Munson, I'm going to kiss you romantically."
And he leans in.
Eddie's obsessed with the curve and dip of Steve's mouth against his. He greedily cups his hand against Steve's face, his other hand propped up against the center console. Steve tastes like the soda he was drinking earlier, mixed with something richer and deeper that's wholly, entirely Steve.
They break apart at a small crackle from Steve's inner pocket.
"Henderson," Steve says exasperatedly. "That kid is so damn impatient."
"Steve!" Dustin's voice comes from the walkie Steve pulls out. "Have you gotten the pizza yet?"
"Yes, you little shit, we're coming back now." Steve sighs. "Oh! Henderson, find Robin. Tell her it happened."
Eddie shoots Steve a confused look, but Steve just holds up a placating hand, a slight smile on his face.
"OH MY GOD STEVE!" comes Robin's voice on the walkie. "HELL YEAH!"
Steve cackles and leans back in to kiss Eddie, who happily accepts.
Remember that time Arthur caught Merlin taking Morgan's purple dress, and this was his only reaction
AND THEN LATER IN THE SHOW WE SEE MERLIN WEARING A PURPLE SHIRT
WHERE DID YOU GET THE SHIRT MERLIN??? I KNOW YOUR SERVANTS SALARY COULD NOT AFFORD THAT SO WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM?? HMMMM????
*at counsel meeting*
Leon: ā¦and the farmers report that the weather had been perfect this year and we can expect a phenomenal harvest.
Merlin: You are welcome.
Arthur: What?
Merlin: Nothing.
Merlin: Have you ever wondered what your future wife is doing?
Arthur: Husband.
Merlin: What?
Arthur: Future husband. And he's about to say 'Ow'.
Merlin: What do you mean- [ Arthur flicks his forehead before walking away ] OW! You're such an ass- WAIT.
more incorrect quotes here!