Latest Posts by alia-atreideez - Page 6

My roommate was backing out of her parking spot and the reverse camera looked like an indie horror game.

Google, how do I make it all stop?

I hate it when Russian porn bots unfollow me, like damn Svetlana, I thought we had something :(

“Every time you think about the fruity vampire, your lifespan decreases 10 seconds.”

9/11 is a really difficult day for people my age.

Our main experience of 9/11 has been through jokes/memes.

Like, I know it was used as rhetoric to start the Iraq war, but it was still OBJECTIVELY a HORRIBLE tragedy. And now anytime someone says “9/11” I get all giggly, and I don’t know if people older than me understand.

Bitches call me cute like Baby Yoda

I’m a good fella

Ray Liotta

I drew a little carmy for my friend

A targeted attack

Head jog

White people reblog this

“Thank you for your time and consideration”

Obsessed with this apparent teenager asking for feedback on his watermelons in the HEB.

I hate wasted potential.

Absolutely losing my shit over this diabetes advert I saw in the UK.

It has come to my attention this was probably a lungfish. Sincere apologies to any sturgeon enjoyers.

My friend scared me while I was taking pictures of a sturgeon

I could kill John Wick with a slippery banana peel.

I don’t trust Jane Goodall. She wos… too good friend with the monkeys. Why? What could they possibly have in common?

Peter Parker in my fucking bath

They look like father and son :)

Adolin dies in book 5. Send tweet.

Brandon Sanderson, a Mormon, writing about drinking:

“And then Shallan took a BIG sip of Horneater ale and it was REALLY alcohol! And then because she was in a BAR where people drink ALCOHOL, she picked up a BUCKET of ale and DRANK THAT TOO!”

“同性愛者は好きではありません.”

In season 2 of Succession, Kendall Roy declares: “Since I stan dad, I’m alive and well.” Season 4 dares to ask the question: what if there were no dad to stan? In this essay I will—

Jessica: *raises Paul to be a messiah, lets Alia be possessed by her ancestral memories*

Paul: *is a messiah*

Alia: *gets possessed by ancestors*

Jessica: I can’t believe you two.

My friend scared me while I was taking pictures of a sturgeon