Latest Posts by alicelxngbottom - Page 3
frxnkislong:
…
“I know,” he said softly, quietly agreeing with the words that she didn’t say. She didn’t have to say them to know what was on her mind, he felt the same way. “It’s disgusting, and it’s even more frustrating that I can come in here and say they can handle it. It’s the sort of thing that should have us all up in arms, ready to burn the whole system down. But it’s not anymore, and it’s disgusting. It’s just life.” He continued to rub out a soothing pattern against her skin. “but it doesn’t have to be. It’s not our problem right now, we have to focus on the here and now.”
“What’s wrong?” He put his feet up on the coffee table, just now noticing that his socks didn’t match. “Don’t tell me nothing, because the both of us know that isn’t true. I know I haven’t been here lately, but I am now, and I’m ready to listen if you want to talk about it. Or we can just sit here and wait if you don’t.”
...
Alice gave a soft hum, not entirely agreeing with Frank, but understanding his point. This was supposed to be a maternity leave, a time for them to focus on becoming parents, not worry about what was going on in the outside world. But it was a little difficult not to. It wasn’t in Alice’s nature to just stop thinking about her work, and besides, they were having a baby in the middle of a war. That wasn’t something that was easy to forget, even for a little while. They were Aurors, Order members, what some would consider blood traitors. Any child of theirs could be a target the second they were born.
Alice leaned into Frank, sighing deeply as she considered how to express the anxiety she had been feeling. She should have just talked to him about it sooner; instead, she had let it grow and grow until it was so big that it felt insurmountable. They had wanted to have a child for so long, had put it off and put it off until the time felt right, but now that it was happening, she was afraid that she still wasn’t ready. “What if I’m a bad mom?”
Alice had never known love like this. She had thought her life was pretty damn full of love -- Frank, her family, the family she had found in the Order. There were so many people she cared about, so many people she would die for, but nothing could compare to this. The little warm bundle in her arms was fast asleep, content after a long session of nursing, and Alice couldn’t rip her eyes away from him. He was perfect, so perfect. All of the pain and agony of labor was a distant memory, now that he was in her arms. His tiny face was so peaceful, his button nose so kissable, his long eyelashes resting against his cheek. This was her world now.
Alice looked up as she heard Frank approach the doorway, letting her know that Fabian was there to see them. Beaming widely, she waved to her husband to lead Fabian into the room, not worried that he would be scandalized by seeing her so soon after childbirth. He had a whole brood of nephews, after all, so he was familiar with this part of life.
Alice beamed at the shy look on Fabian’s face, patting the edge of the bed next to her. “Come here, come meet your godson!” Alice didn’t want to relinquish her hold on little Neville, but for Fabian, she would hand him over. Besides, no matter who held him, he would always come back to her arms. That was the perk of being his mom. She handed him over to Fabian, her eyes alight with joy. “What do you think? Not a redhead, but still handsome, yes?”
@fxprewettx
Give. Even when you know you can get nothing back.
Yasmin Mogahed (via wordsnquotes)
Sensitive suffer more, but they love more and dream more.
Augusto Cury (via wordsnquotes)
In the end, always laugh. And do not lose this strange habit of having faith in life.
Daniel C. L. (via convertions)
frxnkislong:
…
If leaving that morning hadn’t been necessary he wouldn’t have done it. His knowledge of babies, while still limited, had grown significantly the past nine months, and from what he understood birth could be rather unpredictable. But going to the office was a far cry from Romania, and if she needed him she knew how to get him home. Apparation would have him home in five minutes flat. But he was relieved that hadn’t been necessary. He was relieved he could do the last minute task at the office without trouble and get home to her before things got moving.
He carefully kicked his shoes off at the door and put down the bag he took to the office before finding Alice on the couch. He wrapped an arm around her back, brushing his thumb in a circular motion against her arm while he considered his answer. She needed to rest, but she also deserved the truth from him. “Chaotic,” he admitted. “some Muggle baiting incident up by Kent. But not unmanageable. They’ll sort things out just find there, and we can sort our things out here. How are you feeling?”
...
Alice sighed contentedly as Frank’s thumb brushed her back, sinking into the comfort of his touch. His mere presence had an immediate effect on calming her nerves, and she was grateful for that. When she was with him, all of the fears that she had didn’t seem quite as big as when she was alone. They were still there, but far more manageable. Alice frowned at the news, saddened by the fact that she didn’t feel any surprise to hear it. Things like this were becoming the norm lately, and there was no reason to think that it would slow down just because she was on maternity leave.
Alice bit her lip at his question, wondering how much to say. Frank had been gone so much for the second half of her pregnancy that so far she hadn’t shared any of the worries that had been circulating through her head and her heart. She felt a little silly about them, but even though she knew it was ridiculous, she couldn’t banish the fear that she wouldn’t be a good mother. “I’m okay,” she finally said, her answer coming slowly. “Just...nervous, I guess.” She shrugged, clearly holding back.
@frxnkislong
On the day of her due date, Alice sat on the couch in her and Frank’s living room, trying to make herself relax by reading a book. Frank and Moody had put their feet down and insisted that she take some sort of maternity leave both from the Auror department and the Order, so now Alice had an abundance of time where before she had done her best to keep busy. Sitting here in the living room, the house silent around her, her thoughts whirling a mile a minute, Alice remembered why it was that she had tried to distract herself for the last nine months. All of the fears she had been trying to keep at bay were descending upon her.
Alice’s head popped up at the sound of the front door opening, a feeling of relief spreading through her that she was no longer alone. “I’m in the living room!” She called out, abandoning the barely-read book and watching the doorway expectantly. When Frank appeared, she patted the couch next to her, motioning for him to sit by her. As he obeyed, Alice gave a soft sigh. “How was the office?”
your softness is what keeps you from breaking; do not shed it. it is your shield.
marina v., power. (via blancheduboiswrites)
I try to be as fearless as possible. I don’t always succeed, but I like to think I try.
Zachary Quinto (via quotemadness)
@evanroseier
TED LASSO (TV Series 2020– ) ➼ Episode #2.2: Lavender
@frxnkislong
maybe some things are inevitable
@frxnkislong
its always “wyd” and never “biagftsoybtpoftwtlwyfmwfbifidwtffafiicfawtmafwy”🙄
mxrymacs:
…
She constantly felt just a breath from completely falling apart. From crumbling to the ground without a clear understanding of how to rebuild herself. But if she did that she would take on someone’s attention – whether it was Greta’s or Marlene’s or Lily’s or any other assortment of friend who passed through her home. They would look at her and feel badly for her, and all that would do was distract from the fact that Emmeline was still gone. Three days had passed and she was still gone, and Mary had no idea if she was even still alive. But she was. She had to still be alive – she’d know, right? If Emmeline was gone – if she was gone in a way that was far more permanent than this… she would know. She had to believe that she would feel it if she lost her like that. So she held on, not because she was anywhere near okay, not because she didn’t care, but because she refused to take on any more attention than was absolutely necessary. As broken as she felt – it wasn’t about her. As long as Emmeline came home she would be okay in the end.
She nodded, heading into the kitchen to put on the kettle before leaning against the bar to look out at the assortment of things that she brought. “Thank you,” she said softly, trying for another smile. “I’ll grab some plates.” She reached for two of the plastic sort. The glass ones were dirty, but on her mission to deep clean the house she hadn’t yet reached the kitchen. She also grabbed some napkins and forks. Taking them out into the living room and handing them to Alice, she returned to the kitchen to for the tea, splashing in the sugar and milk to the way she knew Alice took it. “Thank you,” she said again, settling onto the couch next to her. “You didn’t have to do all of this.”
...
Alice waited as Mary made her way back and forth from the kitchen to the living room, getting everything settled. She knew that this was exactly what Mary needed, to keep her hands busy, to serve others, so Alice tamped down on her instinct to want to do it all herself. When Mary was finally seated next to her, Alice gave her a soft smile; not one that was pitying, but rather sympathetic. Mary wouldn’t want her pity, or even her focus; she just needed company and for someone else to tell her that Emmeline would be okay. And though Alice knew she couldn’t completely promise it, she also knew that neither she nor Moody would rest until they figured out a way to get Emmeline out of that hell. “I know I don’t,” she replied softly, taking a sip of her tea. “But I wanted to. I know what if feels like to sit around the house waiting for the love of your life to come home.”
Alice reached over and touched Mary’s arm gently before reaching forward to grab one of the pastries and put it on a plate. In her and Frank’s time as an Auror, there had been multiple occasions where he had been on a dangerous mission and Alice had been filled with the anxiety that came with not knowing if he would make it back safely. In those times, she hadn’t wanted to be alone even more than she hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Alice knew that Mary was a lot like her, and figured she would be feeling similarly. “It’s a pretty shit question to ask how you’re doing, but how are you?”
vancexemme:
alamoody:
Alastor listened intently, making note of every detail. Maybe it wouldn’t have been flint who was the man, but it would be a lead to follow on just in case, and leads even if they didn’t lead to the answer they want it always could have the potential to reveal other things. He could tell Emmeline was taking it seriously, giving extreme detail while telling it in a way that felt more clinical than emotional. It was always to go through these with that attitude, especially when it was so fresh the emotions still needing to be processed and if exposed risked reliving it a bit too closely. It was all very standard for now, he knew about what Dorcas had done and he couldn’t put any blame on her for wanting to break Emmeline out. If he had the opportunity to have saved her from what she would have to go through, he knew his emotion would hold some sway and he’d wish to do it too. Yet, Emmeline kept a cool head and probably did what was the best thing for everyone, but her. He was proud of the action even if he felt deeply guilty about where it leads her.
He had just been about caught up, adding small notes that he could make connections to later when Emmeline’s voice had stopped and her stare lingered on him. Alastor lifted the quill removing it from the paper, allowing her a break from the sound. In addition, he made a note to write slower and with less pressure, though he knew his control on that might decrease as they got to the more gruesome details. Alice had taken it upon herself to ask questions, she’d grown so nicely into her role. She was an excellent Auror and she asked questions that he stood behind, though he didn’t know if she was asking for all the same reasons he would. Alastor never shared his thoughts on Dorcas’ involvement with that death, figuring the suspicion then confirmation was better kept quiet. It was safer for Dorcas the fewer people that knew. It was probably obvious that the order would be thought of in his death, even if he had enemies made on his own, the enemy would be the first one to come to mind.
Although Emmeline’s eyes had been trained on him just moments ago, as she spoke now it seemed she wouldn’t be able to meet his gaze. It was probably better that she didn’t, his eyes and facial expression could never express the comfort she would need for this. As much as he tried to take a break to ease her, he had to get back to writing it was too important now to miss any details here, and honestly, he didn’t want to spend the evening trying to remember the cruelties done. It’d be something too hard, he would already have to go through this enough, and adding to it just felt so disheartening. Emmeline was practically a daughter and she’d gone through something horrific, she was a brave girl, but it wasn’t anything she deserved. His grip tightened as she went into what Bellatrix had done, having to remind himself to loosen it to prevent the noises for Emmeline. At Alice’s question, he nodded in agreement. “ Yes, do you think they have any reason to believe he’d been the one to let you out?” He added, finally speaking up since the beginning. He knew it was technically skipping a big chunk, but it was relevant and would do good to know in case the young boy would need extra protection.
@vancexemme
-
The questions provided a much needed pause, letting Emmeline take a step back from her memories in order to answer them. Her voice was still clear and precise and Whiskers hid the shaking of her hands easily with his long fur and insistent requests to be pet. She had only gone through the first day of ten so she knew it was no great feat to have not broken down yet, but she had set her jaw and looked up steadily at Alice’s questions.
“I don’t think she’s sure,” She answered, “It felt like she was throwing it out hoping to get some reaction to see if she was looking in the right direction.” The mind of Bellatrix wasn’t one she’d be confident in picking apart, but she could at least provide this much, to describe the reckless toss of questions instead of out Dorcas for what she had done.
At the mention of them suspecting Regulus, she shook her head. Emmeline at least felt confident in Regulus. He was smart and quiet, and she had a feeling if his relatives had caught any whiff of the visits they would have put an end to it immediately or come down with him. “No, he was very careful about it, and then he was gone for a few days. I don’t think they even knew he was over at the house the day we left.” It might be smart to ask Regulus more, she couldn’t vouch for his behavior prior to seeing him again and if he was as honest faced as he’d been with her downstairs it might be smart to keep their protection of him a secret. “You should speak with him, if you can do so without frightening him. He’s going through a lot at the moment.”
Content that they had the answers they needed, she slipped into describing the second day. “The second day was…different. She asked me the same questions, really, and again I didn’t say anything. She would threaten things, tell me she would peel my skin off or make me eat one of my eyes. She didn’t use any spells on the second day, just some knives she seemed pretty partial to. She stabbed my shoulder, my left arm, and my left thigh. Then she would just cut me in smaller places, still asking me the same questions over and over, and if I was quiet, she’d cut me more.”
@alicelxngbottom
...
Alice tried to keep her face neutral as Emmeline continued to tell them of her time in the Lestrange basement, desperate to keep the emotions raging within from overpowering her. Alice had been an Auror for nearly ten years now, she should be used to this sort of thing. And in reality, she was. She had sat in on debriefs far worse than this and been able to turn off the emotional part of her to do the work that needed to be done. In fact, she had done it many times. But there was something about this that made it difficult to do that. She felt none of the usual cool, calm, clinical control that she usually felt in these situations. She couldn’t seem to separate her feelings from the work in front of her.
Maybe it was the pregnancy, which would be the easiest thing to blame. After all, she was a mess of raging hormones and maternal instinct. Very few women in her position would be able to hear of these atrocities while feeling their child move beneath them. It was just a horrible sick reminder that she was bringing an innocent, defenseless child into the world in the middle of a war. But Alice knew that it was more than just the emotions of a pregnant woman. She loved each of her Aurors, but there was something about the Order members that moved her heart in a deeper way. Not only were they family to Alice, but she was keenly aware of how young most of them were. At least her Aurors weren’t sent into the field until they had proved themselves capable through three years of training. These Order members didn’t have that; they were still children.
And looking at Emmeline now, Alice was struck with how young and vulnerable she looked. Of course Emmeline was incredibly strong and brave after everything she had been through; most would have broken in that situation and given their torturers the information they were looking for. But strong and brave or not, no one that young should have to go through what Emmeline had suffered. Alice didn’t often feel hopeless like this, but she couldn’t help wondering whether this was all worth it. How many more people that she cared about would be hurt or murdered before this was all over? And how could she bear to let any of them leave on mission knowing that this sort of thing was a possibility?
@alamoody
