&frank.001 - Blog Posts
frxnkislong:
“Alice,” he wanted to laugh. Not because he didn’t take her concerns seriously, but because it was such a ludicrous thought. She was going to be the greatest mom of all time. Anything less had never even crossed his mind. But he didn’t laugh. He sat there with her for a long time, simply searching for the thoughts that would make this okay. “you already have a gaggle of twenty-somethings that look at you like a sort of parental figure, and you do brilliantly with them. This kid is going to be the absolute luckiest because he has you as a mom.”
He didn’t think that there was anything he was going to truly be able to say to sooth her fears until she got the chance to meet him. “I’m sorry I had to go for so long, I’m sure that didn’t help. But I’m here now, okay? And we’ll figure it all out together. We’ve always been a team, we’re just bringing in a new member – probably he’ll take my spot as the cutest, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” He leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “You’ll be brilliant, I swear it.“
...
Alice shrugged, knowing that she was being ridiculous but unable to turn off her worries. “Yeah, but a bunch of twenty somethings who are fighting in a war is a way different game than a baby.” It was ridiculous, because Alice had been lucky enough to have incredible parents, unlike all of her cousins and so many of her friends, so really she shouldn’t have this fear. “It’s just that I’ve been an Auror for so long that I don’t know anything else. What if I hate being a mum? Or what if I love it so much that I don’t want to be an Auror anymore?”
She wanted to squirm away as he kissed her head, but forced herself to stay still, knowing that it might hurt his feelings. Alice loved that Frank was so quick to show his affection, but in moments like this, she just wanted to hide, not be loved the way that Frank never failed to love her. When she spoke again, her voice was just a whisper. “And what if something happens to us? Or to him? We’re in the middle of a war, Frank.”
frxnkislong:
…
“I know,” he said softly, quietly agreeing with the words that she didn’t say. She didn’t have to say them to know what was on her mind, he felt the same way. “It’s disgusting, and it’s even more frustrating that I can come in here and say they can handle it. It’s the sort of thing that should have us all up in arms, ready to burn the whole system down. But it’s not anymore, and it’s disgusting. It’s just life.” He continued to rub out a soothing pattern against her skin. “but it doesn’t have to be. It’s not our problem right now, we have to focus on the here and now.”
“What’s wrong?” He put his feet up on the coffee table, just now noticing that his socks didn’t match. “Don’t tell me nothing, because the both of us know that isn’t true. I know I haven’t been here lately, but I am now, and I’m ready to listen if you want to talk about it. Or we can just sit here and wait if you don’t.”
...
Alice gave a soft hum, not entirely agreeing with Frank, but understanding his point. This was supposed to be a maternity leave, a time for them to focus on becoming parents, not worry about what was going on in the outside world. But it was a little difficult not to. It wasn’t in Alice’s nature to just stop thinking about her work, and besides, they were having a baby in the middle of a war. That wasn’t something that was easy to forget, even for a little while. They were Aurors, Order members, what some would consider blood traitors. Any child of theirs could be a target the second they were born.
Alice leaned into Frank, sighing deeply as she considered how to express the anxiety she had been feeling. She should have just talked to him about it sooner; instead, she had let it grow and grow until it was so big that it felt insurmountable. They had wanted to have a child for so long, had put it off and put it off until the time felt right, but now that it was happening, she was afraid that she still wasn’t ready. “What if I’m a bad mom?”
frxnkislong:
…
If leaving that morning hadn’t been necessary he wouldn’t have done it. His knowledge of babies, while still limited, had grown significantly the past nine months, and from what he understood birth could be rather unpredictable. But going to the office was a far cry from Romania, and if she needed him she knew how to get him home. Apparation would have him home in five minutes flat. But he was relieved that hadn’t been necessary. He was relieved he could do the last minute task at the office without trouble and get home to her before things got moving.
He carefully kicked his shoes off at the door and put down the bag he took to the office before finding Alice on the couch. He wrapped an arm around her back, brushing his thumb in a circular motion against her arm while he considered his answer. She needed to rest, but she also deserved the truth from him. “Chaotic,” he admitted. “some Muggle baiting incident up by Kent. But not unmanageable. They’ll sort things out just find there, and we can sort our things out here. How are you feeling?”
...
Alice sighed contentedly as Frank’s thumb brushed her back, sinking into the comfort of his touch. His mere presence had an immediate effect on calming her nerves, and she was grateful for that. When she was with him, all of the fears that she had didn’t seem quite as big as when she was alone. They were still there, but far more manageable. Alice frowned at the news, saddened by the fact that she didn’t feel any surprise to hear it. Things like this were becoming the norm lately, and there was no reason to think that it would slow down just because she was on maternity leave.
Alice bit her lip at his question, wondering how much to say. Frank had been gone so much for the second half of her pregnancy that so far she hadn’t shared any of the worries that had been circulating through her head and her heart. She felt a little silly about them, but even though she knew it was ridiculous, she couldn’t banish the fear that she wouldn’t be a good mother. “I’m okay,” she finally said, her answer coming slowly. “Just...nervous, I guess.” She shrugged, clearly holding back.
@frxnkislong
On the day of her due date, Alice sat on the couch in her and Frank’s living room, trying to make herself relax by reading a book. Frank and Moody had put their feet down and insisted that she take some sort of maternity leave both from the Auror department and the Order, so now Alice had an abundance of time where before she had done her best to keep busy. Sitting here in the living room, the house silent around her, her thoughts whirling a mile a minute, Alice remembered why it was that she had tried to distract herself for the last nine months. All of the fears she had been trying to keep at bay were descending upon her.
Alice’s head popped up at the sound of the front door opening, a feeling of relief spreading through her that she was no longer alone. “I’m in the living room!” She called out, abandoning the barely-read book and watching the doorway expectantly. When Frank appeared, she patted the couch next to her, motioning for him to sit by her. As he obeyed, Alice gave a soft sigh. “How was the office?”
