Alovejr - ENFP | POV

“You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent.”

Paulo Coelho

My PSA airs tomorrow 7/1/16. Please watch and share! Thank you.

Not Enough

Most of the men I’ve been with at one point or another have said, “AJ, I’m not enough for you.” This was stressful because I thought it made me ungrateful. Then I realized they were right. A friend of mine recently told me that my loneliness was causing me to end up with people who aren’t “good enough,” for me. These sentiments have been echoed by the very people in question. “What are you doing with me,” or “are you just settling with me until you find something better,” have been questions thrown at me before. I hate that I’ve put myself in these situations time after time, but I do get lonely, and it’s a struggle for me. However, it’s something I’m working on.

I’ve been looking for stability & security with someone else. I’m just realizing, I can do that on my own. I’m independent enough to take careful of myself, on multiple levels as I always have. I remember recently thinking I want to find someone who could help me with that, but maybe it’s time to late that new notion go. This only came about because I didn’t want to always be doing things alone.

I’m not longer looking for anything other than compatibility. I’m not actively pursuing anything in the relationship arena, but now I’m beginning to have a firm grasp on what I’m truly wanting from a relationship, should it arrive.

Here’s to hoping I can keep this up while pursuing my career. I know some days will be hard, but I’ll figure it out. I always manage to find a way.

(11.7.17)

GOALS

Reblog to have the same amazing year as Sandra Oh’s having for 2019

Outtake.

Chapter 23 - The Achiever

So there I was, the night before my birthday at work, and one of my friends asks me, “was 22 a good year?” Immediately my first instinct is to make a slick comment, but then I thought to myself, “was it?” I realized in that moment all the things that made it great and what could have made it better. A large part of that is in following my dreams and committing to my own personal growth. I want so badly to be extraordinary, and during the year of 22 I was, but in very ordinary circumstances. Next July, I know that I will surpass who I was at 22, but be closer to the version of myself that far surpasses my wildest dreams. Set a goal. Work toward it. Accomplish. Repeat. I am an achiever, and today I celebrate all my past achievements and all of the progress I will achieve from this day forward. To this year of achievement. 23.

My aesthetic is crying in beautiful places.

One king. Many crowns.