...in My Feelings - Blog Posts
“kingston, you hear a deep rumbling coming from within the city hall subway station.”
[ID: a drawing of kingston when he meets the dragon of bleecker street. the dragon is immense, serpenting around the small space, covered in white, green and blue scales. he has long blue whiskers and grins at kingston, who barely reaches his nose. kingston is a young black man wearing a bright t-shirt and shorts. he faces away from the viewer, reaching tentatively to the dragon. the scene is shot through a large, darkened cobblestone archway, a few steps below the platform. a circular window in the ceiling casts the dragon is pink and gold from behind.]
Tall, Dark & Lonely.
The train jostled him from one lonely moment to the next.
The train car was quiet. Just about everyone was a sleep or was falling into it. There was nothing outside the windows. Darkness and the occasional flicker of light. He was empty.
The open-ended feeling in his stomach was the pain of loneliness. He clutched his bag as if it would hold him back. Maybe if he squeezed hard enough the bag would absorb his sadness. Regrettably his efforts were no reciprocated.
How? How did he continually end up here? Close. Slam. Shut. The doors to love, companionship, affection, repeatedly shut in his face. Is it his karma? Is he unlovable? Is he simply unwanted?
The train doors are open. The air is warm, but not inviting. Where would it invite him to anyway? Further sadness? Deeper disappointment? Ugh, never mind.
The bed is soft. The darkness familiar. The loneliness his own. Lights out. Again.
(5.11.19)
My aesthetic is crying in beautiful places.
A lot of people have hurt me. And sometimes I act like it. 🤷🏽♂️ Y’all let people get away with a lot worse.