Alovejr - ENFP | POV

My aesthetic is crying in beautiful places.

This is about more than any single tragedy. This is about peace. Watch thefull video here: https://youtu.be/LI9JNSXZDBM

One king. Many crowns.

I'm so proud of this!

No Apologies

Plot: A young woman makes a big decision... That she certainly doesn't regret. "No Apologies" Starring Arielle Diaz Directed by AJ Lovelace Music by KVNG Zuz...

Here it is!

My new short film comes out tomorrow and I'm so excited! You can watch it on YouTube by searching "XING AJ LOVELACE" thank you for the support!

Woke myself up screaming during a nightmare. 😔 I tried to calm my heart down but it took a while, even while watching my breathing.

Just Me

I need to finally accept the fact that I’m alone. I tried to open myself up to help and friendship and support & I’ve had to demand it. It did not come freely. I don’t think this is going to change. It hurts but I accept it.

I think pretty soon, I’m just going to have to diminish my contact with others. Keep it to only public scenarios like grocery stores and barbershops. Leave personal ties behind me. I wish things were different but there nothing I can do.

I wish that I didn’t have to keep changing myself to fit into this world. I’ve really come to like who I am as a person, and I thought I was bringing something good to the world. I find myself having a harder and harder time everyday. Being myself makes me only feel more lonely and like I don’t belong. I wish no one would ever know this feeling.

So much of the time I feel like I don’t matter. And I think I do, but no one else seems to think so. I’m not sure how I’ll manage to be who I want to be and also remove myself from society. So much pain. It doesn’t matter. My feelings don’t seem to matter. How can I value myself when no one else does? I’m conflicted. I’m hurt. I think I really should just leave everyone alone.

Maybe one day someone will hear me.

(11.11.17)

This is what it’s like to be loved by me.