Alwaysseeking123 - Untitled

To all the people who constantly zoned out and daydreamed as a kid and probably told off for it, who learnt how to cry silently before the age of ten and maybe stopped crying entirely, who used books as an escape method and would constantly daydream about running off to a fantasy world, who is most likely now a burnt-out neurodivergent who didn't get diagnosed early so they self-diagnosed instead, and who now wants to groan at the thought of having to wake up another day,

how's the childhood trauma, deep-rooted love hate relationship with your parents, lack of self-esteem and sense of self, and raging queerness doing? you good?

😭😭😭😭

I’ll never hate anyone as much as I hate myself

I’m not good enough.

“Being emotionally neglected all your life is so damaging in so many ways.”

—

Self hating right now

Just feeling so empty and lost in my feelings. I feel so stupid to think anyone could like me as much as I like them. Not that I don’t blame them im gross and worthless, anyone could do so much better than me..

Slipping into old familiar ways

That will take me to the same places

Places I don't want to be at

Places that hold my hand right into hell

I watch it happen from the outside

And I let it

Because I don't know another way

...

30.12.21