Get Yourself A Main Character Whos Two Primary Emotions Are "little Cunt" And "catatonic With Grief"

chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands

every time tain hu pledges her loyalty to baru cormorant, rated by how gay it is:

BEWARE SPOILERS

(some quotes are condensed to remove extraneous narration)

“I stand for Baru Cormorant.” And the duchess Tain Hu stepped into the circle, hobnailed boots ringing off the limestone cobble, hair shorn, cheeks slashed in lines of red. “My lady, command me.”

8/10, they havent seen each other in three years, the last time they met they were enemies, and now this dramatic sword lesbian just shows up to be baru’s champion in a duel to defend her honor. highly recommended

“The Fairer Hand,” she intoned, and setting her blade flat across her knee, she knelt. “This is my vow: in life, in death, I am yours.”

7/10, “till death do us part” but goth. this is actually literally just really extra marriage vows.

“What command, my sworn lord?” Not even a little mockery in Tain Hu’s voice.

4/10, you can do better than that. gets a few points for following up a conversation about tain hu’s conquests (military and otherwise). also interesting note: tain hu always calls baru her lord, not her lady. idk if this is just a general linguistic thing, but considering she says queen instead of king it seems deliberate.

“You are the Fairer Hand,” she said, “and I am your field-general, oathbound to earn you victory at any price. I will not shrink from that oath.” And then, her cold breaking, her voice raw and rampant: “I rule a small land, poor in wealth and arms; I have no husband and no heirs, no great alliance and no well-made dams, and thus few strengths to offer my lord beyond my cunning and my loyalty. Do not deny me the exercise of those as well.”

9/10, gayyyyy. also, this is a direct mirror to a page before where baru waxes rhapsodic about duchess nayauru. someone is ~jealous~.

“You don’t know that.” Vultjag’s voice dropped. “I vowed to die for you—don’t make a liar of me.”

4/10. tragic foreshadowing/dramatic irony. im so sorry. fuck. 

“Take the throne,” Tain Hu said. “I’m your field-general, sworn to serve. I can’t sit above you.”

2/10, too sad. baru is about to be proposed to by a man. it is gay angst, but still. just talk to each other please.

“What would you have me call you, then? My friend? My sister? You are my queen, or you are not. I swore an oath. When you doubt yourself, you doubt me. Do you doubt me?”

6/10. as a general note, when a woman names you to a position reserved for her consort, she doesnt see you as a sister

“Mm,” Tain Hu said. “Hello. Your Excellence.”

10/10, literally waking up in bed together the morning after, also im pretty sure once you’re engaged to a woman and having sex with her you’re allowed to drop the titles

“Will my death bring advantage to Baru Fisher, my sworn lord?” […] “You owe me nothing. I swore to die for you. So it will be.”

infinity/10

i wholeheartedly believe i deserve fangs

I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE REALIZATION HOLY SHIT WHEN JOD TOLD HARROW "NO ONE HAS TO KNOW" IN RESPONSE TO THE CONFESSION OF THE 9TH HOUSE GENOPHAGE THAT BIRTHED HER, IT WASN'T OUT OF CARING EMPATHY TOWARDS AN EXTREMELY ABUSED CHILD, IT WAS BECAUSE HE HASN'T TOLD ANYONE HOW HE BECAME GOD HOLY FUCKING SHIT MY MAN PANICKED BECAUSE HARROW'S PARENTS NEARLY REPLICATED HIS CARDINAL SIN FROM 10,000 YEARS AGO AND IS TRYING TO HIDE THAT HE'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DEATHS AND SUBSEQUENT CONSUMPTION OF 8 BILLION HUMANS

the butch herself for mascmarch :)

actually very lucky that ronan fell in love once and never again because can you imagine the chaos he would’ve caused in any local gay community with even the briefest of situationships

Anyways those audiobooks

having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

201 souls worth of survivor’s guilt

finished the main trilogy. maybe i will let them bully me into reading tsc too

started reading aftg and don't tell my twitter mutuals but i also went on the ao3 page because i can't contain myself