Hiccup: Do You Ever Just See Something That Changes Your Life And You're Just Like, Huh.

🤓

Tuffnut: Okay, here's where things get a bit weird.

Hiccup: Things have been bit weird for a while.

Tuffnut: Here's where things continue in that general direction.

Writing a fic is so weird. I’ll be reading it over and crying because I want to read more but it’s not written yet. But then I realize that I control that because I’m the author. Man 😔

Astrid’s importance in Hiccup’s life is often questioned, I've seen posts on how she has schemingly separated the inseparable HiccTooth and how toxic she is towards Hiccup among others. What people fail to realise that her squirm towards the idea of marriage did not arise from her jealousy towards Toothless, but Hiccup’s over reliance on him which resulted in her betrothed’s inability to measure his own worth and capabilities beyond the dragon. She had not been toxic to Hiccup ever since they entered into a relationship and has been his biggest support system ever since. She has been the first one to believe in him and ever since has been his right hand throughout. The compassionate lady who beneath her tough exterior is anything but is the one to hold onto Hiccup throughout the worst of phases in his life. The girl who trained from her childhood to be an incredible Dragon Slayer to bring back the lost glory of her clan went onto become one of the finest Dragon Riders in the history, beside her husband: to give the fearsome beasts a chance to prove themselves after being convinced by Hiccup. Astrid Hofferson Haddock is incredibly talented: acing anything she puts her mind to, be it dragon slaying or training and even drawing! She bloomed like a lotus in his love, and continued to spread the love but didn't lose her sight or practicality in love. She divided his schedule into manageable little stacks for him to analyse and review, fought alongside him to protect their island and the dragons. She had been nothing but a source of strength, hope and unbridled joy to her then betrothed, now husband. As a mother she is gentle yet firm, proud yet concerned, and just always available for her kids. Astrid is the love of Hiccup’s life, his wife and the mother of his children. The strong Valkyrie deserves nothing but respect for being a fabulous friend, a wonderful wife and a marvelous mother and an awe inspiringly skilled Shield Maiden, General and now the Chieftess of New Berk.

I like how most of RTTE is hiccup being a mother hen to his very crazy toddler children.

And then the opposite happens whenever he’s on an inventing frenzy.

Very much inspired by this photo a friend sent.

Guys TikTok being back up does not mean anything right now. There is a very high chance of it being sold or has already been sold to a US company or META.

PLEASE remember that Trump is doing nothing in our favor and it was his idea to propose the bill in first place.

Please remember that if TikTok is bought by a US company that makes the online world a US monopoly.

Stay safe and stay aware.

The Vikings Bride (1)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63436504

Rating: G

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson

Words: 1.8K

Chapter 1/?

Summary:

Astrid truly didn’t pay much actual attention to the farm boy who tended to the dragons. Still, nothing gave her as much pleasure as ordering Hiccup around. “Farm boy, tend to Stormfly.” She would snap. “Clean the stables!” She would order. Farm boy, do this. Do that. And every time without fail he would say, “as you wish.” It was all he ever said to her.

Princess Bride AU

Astrid grew up in a farming town in the kingdom of the Berserkers. Her favorite pastimes were flying her dragon and tormenting the farm boy who tended to her wealthy family. 

The farm boy’s name was Hiccup. Though she didn’t call him that.

Astrid truly didn’t pay much actual attention to the farm boy who tended to the dragons. All she really knew growing up was his dorky crooked smile and his kind eyes that never left his freckled face despite the treatment he endured. Still, nothing gave her as much pleasure as ordering Hiccup around.

Even after she pried out of him that he was banished chieftain royalty, even after he grew from a lanky kid to a lanky teenager, his kind eyes never stopped shining that bright green. 

“Farm boy, tend to Stormfly.” She would snap. “Clean the stables!” She would order. Farm boy, do this. Do that.  

And every time without fail he would say, “as you wish.” 

It was all he ever said to her.

They grew closer. It felt inevitable in a way. 

With the Hofferson household being one of the few in the kingdom to hold dragons and Hiccup’s love for them it seemed they saw each other every day. While he would brush or clean Stormfly's scales, he would rattle on about the different types from where he came from. 

When she was 12, she just assumed he didn’t know dragons were rarely spotted and were considered odd to own.

When she was 13, she started to approach him of her own free will and tell him to do various tasks. 

It was at 15 she realized that she loved seeking him out.

“Farm boy,” She would say, coming up to him as he was struggling to chop wood. “Fetch the dragon's water would you?”

Their eyes would meet and Astrid could never recall nature that was as green as Hiccup’s eyes.

She paused, “Please?” She added, suddenly very aware of the thin scar on his chin and his puffy spotted cheeks. 

Hiccup nodded and said as he always did, “As you wish.” 

This continued for months until she realized she was in love with him. 

It continued on even farther until she realized that when Hiccup was saying “As you wish.” What he really meant was, “I love you.” 

She was 16 and throwing her axe in the woods when she caught Hiccup watching her.

“Farm boy,” She called. She looked up at the axe she was about to grab right above her, “Fetch me my axe.”

Hiccup walked up slowly, now just as tall as her, and grabbed the axe stuck in the bark of the tree.

“As you wish,” He whispered while handing over her axe to him, his warm fingers grazing hers. She felt a smile creeping up.

It was later that day under the sunset that they shared their first kiss. It was wonderful, it was exhilarating, and most of all, it seemed to fill her life with meaning.

She hated that she loved this farm boy so much. She hated herself even more because the fact was that she desperately wanted to marry him. She knew she never could.

Despite that, she loved his grin, his now growing stubble on his chin at 17, the fact that he was growing muscle, how he towered over her, how he laughed, and everything about him. Astrid grew to know Hiccup as him , rather than the intriguing farm boy. She loved pulling him to the side and kissing him senseless in the stables. She loved his sarcastic nature. She loved his unruly hair that was so much fun to braid. Even when he complained that he really didn't need the tiny braids. She loved how stubborn and kind he was. She loved Hiccup.

It was 18 when they got engaged. He gave her a necklace that was his mothers as their betrothal gift and her eyes welled up with tears and she gave him kiss after kiss in thanks. 

But Hiccup was still an exiled poor farm boy. He had no money for marriage and Astrid’s parents refused to pay. So Hiccup decided to find riches across the sea. He packed his belongings and said goodbye to every dragon the Hoffersons owned. She waited for him by the doors.

The moment she saw him, she pounced, wrapping her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest.

“Don’t go.”

“I have to Astrid.”

“What- what if I never see you again?”

“Astrid,” Hiccup pulled away suddenly and looked into her eyes, expression serious. “Of course you will.”

“But what if something happens to you? I won’t be able to protect you.” She felt irritation and want bubbling beneath the surface. She felt need. She needed him to stay. 

Hiccup suddenly cupped her cheek, forcing her to look back up at him. “Astrid. Remember this. Hear this now. There will always be a Hiccup and Astrid. Always .”

She smiled sadly and leaned her forehead against his despite the raging storm happening in her chest, “I can’t imagine a world without you in it.”

“I can’t imagine a world without you in it either.”

“Make sure you come back. Promise me.” She demanded, feeling a burn behind her eyes.

“I promise. This is true love M’lady, it doesn’t happen everyday.” He grinned and kissed her softly. “There will always be an us. Trust in me, your scrawny, twig of a fiancé. Okay?”

“Right. Of course.”

“Love you.” A peck on the lips.

“Love you too. Come back.”

As you wish. 

Hiccup never came back. His ship was attacked by the infamous dragon master Drago Bludvist and his crew of dragon trappers. Drago never left captives alive. When Astrid got the news, she trained so hard that her axe became dull and her vision was blurry from tears. She felt foolish. 

She needed to hit something. She needed something to tame her anger, her grief. 

She joined the Berserker guard.

She beat all of them and became the best in her class, pouring all her anguish into becoming something Hiccup wouldn’t recognize. 

4 years later, and her talent caught the eyes of Oswald the Agreeable's son. 

5 years after Hiccup's death, at the age of 22, she was to be married to Dagur the Deranged. It was announced at a festival with Dagur standing on a balcony with General Heather. The kingdom cheered.

“In a month from now will be the kingdom's 500th anniversary!” Dagur said with a manic grin. “In a month I will be marrying the best Berserker guard that we have ever seen! I will be marrying a commoner like you all!” Dagur giggled suddenly, “But now she will be above all your tiny insignificant lives! I present to you, Viking Astrid Hofferson!”

And it was at that moment when Astrid walked out and looked at people who were just like her, did she feel emptiness consume her. She hated Dagur. She wanted Hiccup.

Astrid felt the wind in her hair as she flew with Stormfly across the vast forest. She sighed. This was her only free time and she cherished it daily. Flying with Stormfly was truly the only joy she had now. 

Astrid has been layed back on her dragon’s back for around an hour when a shout from the forest floor caught her attention. Three people were waving. A short stocky man with a black bob and two blondes.

She flew down and the short man who she now discovered had a rather sad sense of style grinned smugly. Astrid narrowed her eyes.

“A word, my lady.” He said with raised eyebrows. “We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?”

Astrid observed the three. The short man didn’t look intelligent enough to deceive her but why they would try in the first place escapes her mind. 

The two blondes don’t have much going on. The big bodied man with nervous eyes and baby fat on his cheeks doesn’t look threatening. And the blonde with dreads in his hair tied up to form a beard might be the only threatening person in the group if the mace strapped to his back was any indicator.

Astrid furrowed her brows in confusion and got off Stormfly. “No. There aren't any towns for miles.”

The raven haired man smirked cockily and suddenly clapped twice. The big man’s expression changed from anxious to angry and he charged at her. Astrid didn’t even have time to grab her axe before she blackened out. 

The last thing she heard was. “Then no one will hear you scream.”

Snotlout was ribbing the royal crest off of the Viking’s bag. When Fishlegs became Thor Bonecrusher and attacked Hofferson, the dragon freaked out. A few well placed nets later and Snotlout had the bag strapped to its side.

“Yo, Snotman, what are you doing?” Tuffnut asked from where he was prepping a boat.

“Replacing the Berserker crest with the Berkian one. They are sworn enemies, thus when Prince Dagur finds her body dead on their shores, they will have no choice but to go to war!”

“You never said anything about killing anyone, Snotlout.” Fishlegs said from the side.

“I hired you to help me start a war!” 

“I don't know Snotlout…” Fishlegs wringed his hands anxiously.

“Come on! It’s a very strong and prestigious line of work! You fit right in, especially when you become Thor.”

“I just don’t think it’s right.”

“Well I’m paying you and you seemed to agree with me when you're the manly version of you!”

“I agree with Fishlegs.” Tuffnut piped in.

Snotlout untied the dragon and placed the bag back on it, shooing it away. Perfect.

Snotlout hopped on the boat, “Well you two won’t be killing her! I will! Me! Duh!”

“I don’t know S…” Tuffnut shrugged.

“Don’t complain now! When I found you, you were drunk and eating toenails! You couldn’t think straight! And you!” Snotlout turned to Fishlegs, “Unemployed until I made Thor! I remade you into a better version of yourself! I can make Thor Bonecrusher no more! Do you want to be unemployed in Denmark again? I’ll send you to the edge of the earth!”

“The earth is round actually!”

“Shut up Tuffnut!” 

Right as they were setting sail Tuffnut went up to Fishlegs, “Snotlout, he can…fuss.”

Fishlegs nodded solemnly, “He really likes to scream at us.”

Tuffnut put a hand on Fishleg’s shoulder, “He means no…harm.”

“He’s very short on… charm !” 

Tuffnut whistled, “you are very good at rhyming Fishlegs.”

“Shut it, Tuff, Fishface!”

“S, are there rocks ahead?”

“If there are, we’ll all be dead!” Fishlegs added.

“UGH!” Snotlout yelled. “No more rhymes now, I mean it!”

“Anybody want a peanut?” Tuffnut asked.

Snotlout's shriek could be heard for miles.

“He thinks he has to lead alone… because his father had to”

That scene left me somewhat sour when I first saw it, and it still does. Valka is trying to give Astrid advice as she was the woman married to the Chief. As Chieftess one would assume Valka had responsibilities as well, and her first duty was to her husband.

But like, I don’t think Valka had the right to be coaching Astrid? First of all, the reason Stoick was left alone was because of YOU, Valka. Hiccup has this impression of his father because Valka was never there. Hiccup figures that if his father, who would always be mourning the death of his wife, could do it, so could he. And honestly, I think Hiccup doesn’t like to mess up, not necessarily that he thinks he has to lead alone. He can be in his head sometimes, but we’ve seen him incorporate other’s ideas (in RTTE which was totally not taken into account in THW) and I don’t think Hiccup has ever admitted that he thinks he has to lead alone anyway. So I’m not sure why Valka thinks she’s right. Unless it was said offscreen, but what would that matter if the audience didn’t see it.

The movie lacked any real scenes between Valka and Hiccup imo.

And then Valka suggests Astrid console him, as though Valka knows Hiccup all that well. I know she means well, and had known Hiccup for a year, but I don’t think she had the right to play parent when he’s a grown adult who’s leading the village.

I get Valka is the voice of reason like Stoick was to Hiccup and Astrid (we see that mainly in RTTE between him and Astrid), but personally, she didn’t earn the right to give advice regarding the son she left behind for twenty years.

You wanna play wise parent now? Too late.

Again, I know she means well and is able to recognize her husband’s challenges in her son, but I just think the conversation was unnecessary. Astrid already KNOWS what to do with Hiccup. Astrid’s really the only person that can get Hiccup to spill and he’s always honest with her. Astrid knows how to handle him, and she knows how to communicate. Heck, Astrid knows Hiccup better than Valka does.

I’m sure the writers must’ve realized too late that there weren’t any scenes between Valka and Astrid (which sucks because I feel like Astrid would hold some resentment towards her on Hiccup’s behalf, and that would’ve been an interesting conversation) and they needed to come up with a scene. I don’t see Valka as wise as Stoick was. She’s cool yeah, and this post wasn’t made to bash her, but her character overall was just not handled right from the start.

The Vikings Bride (3)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63436504

Rating: G

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson

Words: 4.7K

Chapter 3/?

Summary:

Astrid truly didn’t pay much actual attention to the farm boy who tended to the dragons. Still, nothing gave her as much pleasure as ordering Hiccup around. “Farm boy, tend to Stormfly.” She would snap. “Clean the stables!” She would order. Farm boy, do this. Do that. And every time without fail he would say, “as you wish.” It was all he ever said to her.

Princess Bride AU

Tuffnut Thorston lived by three things at the age of 22. 

Guacamole.

Toenails.

And sword fighting. 

Which is why Tuffnut was delighted to be fighting the man in black. He placed his hand on his sword and looked over the edge. The man in black looked up and Tuffnut could make out auburn hair sticking out the back of the mask with two small braids. There was reddish brown stubble dotting his chin and jawline. 

The man in black looked up and raised an eyebrow, “mind giving me a hand?”

Tuffnut shook his head sadly, “I’m afraid I can’t. You see, my job is to kill you.”

“Well that puts a damper on our relationship don’t you think?”

Tuffnut paused and walked around for about two minutes before he looked over again. “Would it help if I tossed you the rope?” 

“Well not really, if you kill me the moment my foot touches the ground.”

Tuffnut looked past the man in black’s head to see he had a peg leg. Though it seemed to be spiky now rather than smooth like it was when Tuffnut last saw it earlier. 

Tuffnut looked around and huffed and breakdanced for a bit before he got bored again. He looked over to see that the man in black had barely moved.

“Will you let me toss the rope if I promise not to kill you?” 

“Maybe. You might just have to wait.” The man in black grunted out.

“I hate waiting,” Tuffnut muttered. “What if I swear on my best friend and confidant, Chicken.”

“What?” The man asked incredulously.

“Sorry my bad,” Tuffnut cleared his throat. “I swear on my being a Spaniard.”

“That won’t do. I know far too many Spaniards.”

Tuffnut sighed, looked around and saw his crusty bare feet. He looked at the man in black in determination. “I swear on the soul and blood of my sister Ruffnut Thorston, you will reach the top alive. If not, I shall mix our blood together and we can become blood brothers. Or I will give you my right pinky toenail.” 

The man in black blinked then sighed, “throw me the rope.” 

Tuffnut unwound the rope and threw it down. The man in black started climbing and was soon on his feet…er foot. He nodded at Tuffnut in thanks and moved to unsheathe his sword. 

Tuffnut put a hand up, “It’s okay bro, we can wait until you’re ready.”

The man in black nodded again and sat down on a rock. “Thank you. Truly.”

Tuffnut sat on a rock opposite and watched as the man in black changed his prosthetic to a normal walking one and took off his other boot to let loose rocks tumble out of it.

Now that Tuffnut had time…”Do you happen to have six fingers on your right hand?” Tuffnut asked.

The man in black paused and looked at Tuffnut with squinted eyes, “do you always start conversations this way?” 

“You see, my man, my sister is floating with the masses of gas in the sky known as stars. And she was murdered by a six fingered woman.”

“Pretty sure I’m not a woman.” 

“You can never be too sure. It’s been 10 years. I’m running out of people to question.”

The man in black raised a gloved hand to show 5 fingers and went back to getting rocks out of his boot. “I’m sure she’s very proud of you and watching over you in Valhalla.” 

“She was the best mace maker in Berserker. 10 years ago, when we were both 12, the six-fingered woman appeared and requested a very special weapon. Ruffnut took the job. She put her blood, sweat, tears and other fluids into that weapon for an entire year.” Tuffnut grabbed the mace from his back and gave it to the man in black to examine. He ran his fingers through his very manly, very real beard.

“Remarkable craftsmanship.” The man in black noted.

“After Macey was done, the six-fingered woman returned and refused to pay, saying she wanted an axe. Ruffnut took that as a challenge and they had a classic Thorston duel to the death. Ruffnut was murdered I say! Murdered!” Tuffnut burst into tears then stopped after an awkward silence of the man in black just watching him. 

“I loved my sister. So naturally I took Macey and challenged the six fingered woman to a duel to the death as well. She left me alive but gave me this-” Tuffnut traced scar lines that went just above both cheekbones. “I have been training the ultimate Thorston battle stances with Macey for 10 whole years. So the next time we meet, I will not fail.”

Tuffnut felt a breeze go through his hair and he looked up dramatically, “Next time, the one Tuffnut Thorston will not fail. And I will say this-” Tuffnut nodded solemnly, “Hello. My name is Tuffnut Thorston. You killed my sister.” Dramatic pause…”Prepare to die.” 

…

“Well…” The man in black trailed off but seemed to gain his footing (foot technically), “Good for you.” 

Tuffnut clenched his fist and looked straight into the sun and despite the burning in his eyes said, “I must not lose hope. Even if it has been 10 years.” Tuffnut looked at the man in black and shrugged, “I just work for Snotlout to pay the bills.”

The man in black took a deep breath and shrugged, “Well.” He said, getting up to his feet. “I hope you find her someday.” 

“You ready?”

“As I'll ever be.” The man in black grabbed a blade handle from his thigh.

“You are going to fight with that? I mean, I support it but I’m pretty sure your goal is to live right?”

“Just watch.” The man said with an air of flare before a hollow sword slipped out of the hilt and set on fire.

“Wow…just think of the things you could explode with that thing.” Tuffnut got into stance with Macey at the ready, in his left hand. “You seem like a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.”

The man in black shrugged, “You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.”

They watched each other for a few moments before Tuffnut striked first, swinging Macey around in a wide arch. The man in black backed up, his peg leg being uneven against the rocky terrain. Tuffnut advanced but the man in black is very impressive. He blocks every strike and keeps his ground. Tuffnut feels adrenaline pumping through his veins and fights off the wave of excitement that courses through him at the thought of a challenging fight. A shame that he’s only using his left hand though. The man in right is using his right hand so it really is unfortunate when Tuffnut starts using his right. Tuffnut is almost sad they didn't become blood brothers before Tuffnut had to kill the man in black.

“What amazing form you have!” Tuffnut comments as they reach the top of the terrain.

“I’ve never fought against a mace before. I think it figured it out.” The man in black blocks another swing from Macey with his flaming hollow sword. Now Tuffnut was the one being pushed back. 

“I admit it. You are better than I am.” Tuffnut reached the ledge and he backflipped off while the man in black simply jumped off and stumbled a bit. Tuffnut felt a felt smile fit on his face. Time for some ultimate Thorston fighting.

“Then why are you smiling?” The man in black asked in confusion.

Tuffnut was pushed to the edge of the cliff before he gleefully said, “Because I know something you don’t! I am not left handed.” Tuffnut tossed Macey to his right and immediately pushed the man in black back. 

He was struggling and Tuffnut was gaining the upper hand. The sounds of the flames on his sword and the clanks of Macey filled the air. The man in black was pushed to a wall on upper ground and it was clearly taking a lot of strength to hold back the mace with his sword. 

“You’re incredible!” The man commented with a smirk.

“I have to be after 10 years,” Tuffnut furrowed his brow in confusion. “But why are you smiling?”

“I know something you don’t,” the man in black grunted out before putting his full force into pushing Tuffnut back. With an air of flamboyance, the man black raised his eyebrows and grinned, “I’m not right handed!” He elegantly tossed his sword in the air and caught it with his left. He cut through the air a few times before pointing the flaming sword at Tuffnuts chest. 

With increased vigor the man in black fought against Tuffnut. Slash after slash. Macey was hit out of Tuffnut’s hand and flew across the rocky area, down below. Tuffnut looked at Macey and back at the man in black who now just seemed amused. Tuffnut ran and jumped towards Macey, grabbing onto a handlebar before sadly dropping down with a loud and ungraceful thunk. Tuffnut scrambled to grab Macey. The man in black flung his sword and it stuck in the ground, hilt upright. He ran and jumped, grabbing onto the handlebar. He swung and landed right next to his sword, picking it up and pointing it at Tuffnut. 

“...Who are you?”

“No one of consequence.” The man in black swiftly replied.

Tuffnut pouted, “I must know,”

The man in black shrugged, “get used to disappointment.”

They charged at each other again. Going up and down. The man in black blocked every strike. Tuffnut felt his arms starting to go out and blindly swung his mace around frantically. The man in black’s sword flames went near his hand and he dropped Macey. Going to his knees with his hands in the air, the man in black circled him, with his sword at Tuffnut’s throat.

“Despite our charming Viking demeanor, I don’t want to kill you,” the man in black said from behind Tuffnut. “But I can’t have you following me either.” 

There was a smack to his head, pain and then darkness.