In Love With This Sprite My God… He Has No Clue Wtf Goin On

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I had a dream I was able to time travel and I went like 10,20,100,1000,2000 years into the future but the instant I went to 4,000 I got stuck in a time dilation jail set up by the American government in the year 3,877 in which anyone that tried to time travel back or forth across May 23, 3877 while on Earth would end up stuck in this time dilation chamber trap to stop time travelers but like it was so crazy and mismanaged because it was legit capturing like every single time traveler ever and the place had only been open for 12 minutes and was already getting overpopulated with nonstop multiple recursive instances of this one other guy trying to break previous versions of himself out of this god damn time traveler jail

i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing

Template is from here

Origin:

Hautbois was the youngest in a family of hunters in the Black Shroud. At first, they did honest business with Ul’dah merchants. However, they were tempted into poaching by a corrupt Gridanian official.

They were extorted by said official, who demanded ever more bribe money as “protection”.

When the deal went bad, the official alerted the Wood Wailers to the poaching, and Hautbois was orphaned in the ensuing conflict.

Hautbois's older siblings were taken into Gridanian custody. Their brother became a lancer and died in the calamity, while their sister became a conjurer. They had a strained relationship, up through the events of Heavensward.

Escaped alone to Camp Drybone, where they made contact with a Lalafell merchant who was a long-time client of the family. Grew up in Ul’dah, doing odd jobs, and learning the art of trade. Eventually was adopted by said merchant.

Was able to find some success as a street performer due to their musical aptitude. This leads to BRD being Hautbois's first combat job.

The name Hautbois is a pseudonym they took out of fear of being extradited back to Gridania. It's an instrument name! And yes, Hautbois thinks it's funny too.

Joining the Scions:

Echo started to manifest after witnessing the calamity.

Hautbois’s echo provides perfect auditory memory, and the ability to hear past conversations. Lacks the visual flashback of the canon WoL’s echo.

Hautbois was scouted by Tataru, having been one of many suppliers for the Scions at the Waking Sands.

Became an adept arcanist around this time. Though they grew up illiterate, they were good with numbers and able to memorize entire lectures.

Relationships with the Scions:

Friendly with Tataru, though the two are fierce rivals when it comes to business and finance.

Was acquainted with Minfilia prior to her joining the Scions. Friendly due to common experiences growing up in Ul’dah.

Friendly with Thancred, though his over-protectiveness of Minfilia has been a point of contention.

Learns to read from Urianger! Since Hautbois relies so heavily on their auditory memory, they often end up reciting Urianger’s monologues with the exact same phrasing and intonation (when giving reports to other Scions and such). This is initially mistaken as disingenuous mocking.

Rough start with Y’shtola, who finds their personality intolerable. The two find some common ground due to their mutual sympathy for the beast tribes.

Distrustful of Lyse and Papalymo at first, due to their association with Gridania. Eventually overcomes this.

Doesn't get along too well with the twins at first. Sees them as extremely entitled.

Has a soft spot for Estinien and his financial illiteracy. Has scammed him on multiple occasions, and the Scions just let it happen so that Estinien can be spared the embarrassment.

Is comfortable making jokes at everyone's expense except G'raha. He's just too nice!

want to spread a resource: https://www.darkpattern.games/

dark pattern has articles on gameplay patterns that are used to manipulate how you play a game and/or how much money you spend on it.

there are also lists for games breaking down what patterns they feature/dont feature

check it out, make sure you friends arent falling into a pit of gambling and despair.

https://www.darkpattern.games/

california dreaming......... on such a winters day...........

The fun thing about speedrunning is that you can respond to literally any piece of information about a video game in any context whatsoever with “implications for the speedrun?” and there’s a non-zero chance that’s actually a cogent question.