In My Head: Constructs Witty And Insightful Answers To Interview Questions For When I'm Famous

can we all stop pretending that life is fun or even tolerable i want to start being insane in public 

me @ very talkative cats: i love you so much. please continue your story. tell me about your day. i love you

What does it say about me that I’ve gone from raging against the world’s injustices to expecting them?

the only 2 base designs for wizards are weird grandpa and twink

dark chocolate literally is god tier… don’t talk to me about white chocolate. it doesn’t exist. milk is on thin ice

“you’re so polite!” thank you i have anxiety

“Do I really want to share this information about my personal life with this person or am I just craving validation regarding my perspective/stance on it?” is a beautiful question and I’ve been less of a chatterbox ever since I started asking it

“you’re so polite!” thanks, I am afraid of you.

People will say I have “delusions of grandeur” that’s my vibe, idiot