AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK

Beer and milk are two of the earliest agricultural products so statistically at least one person in the ancient world must have tried a White Gilgamesh

🟪 minecraft-elvis follow

woah mama i tried to water bucket clutch in the nether

🟦 speedrunner-elvis follow

woah mama you suck

🟪 minecraft-elvis

bitch

🟦 speedrunner-elvis

wooaaahhh mama @/elvis-corrector he didn't say the line woah mama

🔫 elvis-corrector follow

say the fucking line or you go to the big toilet in the sky

🟪 minecraft-elvis

woah mama i'm being threatened *wiggles my legs in defence*

🔬elvis-scientist follow

this elvis is clearly in distress, they only wiggle their legs in such a funky way to ward off predators, the little guy thinks his life is in danger please be more responsible with your elvis husbandry

🔍 elvis-detector follow

BEEP

Being a ranger I spend a lot of time alone in the wilderness for hours in the company of one of four co workers.

One such worker for the purpose of this post we shall refer to as Dave.

Dave is a very quiet man. He confesses that if conversation happens too quickly and for too long he gets tired so we often work in silence. He's very polite and good natured but it's obvious that he would happily live and work alone for the rest of his life given the option.

He's very much in the previous generation of ranger, a practical man in his fourties or fifties happy to be kept physically busy for a day and then be sent home with some pay. I had to show him how to use a work issued smart phone.

Meanwhile the rest of the team is made up of the current generation of rangers; openly nurodivergent queer women in their twenties or thirties who work this job because it's the only setting where we can vaguely look sane.

So Dave sticks out a bit. It's really nice when he opens up though because he's an impulsive individual when left to his own devices and has plenty of stories to tell if the mood takes him. I really like working with Dave.

Anyway, one day we've got a job that takes a three hour hike to get to and early on the topic of deer comes up.

I hadn't realised this was the first time we had discussed deer, but blatantly it was. Dave's entire demeanour changes, there's a bit of passion in his voice, but it's also hushed as if he's talking about something sacred.

"Deer are my favourite animal." He says.

I'm also eager to hear Dave talk about himself, so I encourage him to say more.

"I'd love to be a deer myself."

And more

"If a genie offered me the opportunity to become a deer I'd take it. I wouldn't even stop to ask what the price was."

And more

"Sometimes I feel like I'm a deer having a dream about being a human.*

And there I am, a long time commuter to the therian/otherkin community keeping up the encouraging face of someone being politely interested, knowing that this man is straight up a therian with no frame of reference.

And I decided that I wouldn't push the subject outside of the bounds of what Dave is comfortable with, I wouldn't try to teach him the terms "Therian" or "Otherkin" but absolutely I would talk with this man as if he's a deer.

And it's a bit magical really. He's an impulsive individual so I have to talk him out of some risky choices every so often and "this is why deer like you keep getting stuck in fences" has become this magical phrase that allows him to step down from a mistake with a bit of a smile on his face.

Just a few seconds ago

I remember

Life seemed so grimm

So dark

So mean

Until i told you the truth

And we changed

We changed things together

Just between us

And the world

With your kindness

Grew brighter

I coudnt see the sun

Until i talked to you

I couldnt see the clouds and how they drfited

So soft and wistfully

Until you made me smile

You whisked me away

So unknowingly

From the darkness ive surrounded myself with

And it wasnt until then

That i saw how beautifully the blue sky was

And that i remembered

How the clouds reminded me of your dress

The dress you wore when we first met

Ill never forget

Not that day

Not that dress

Not you

Not ever.

Going to add lore to my little story

Going to make it so if you want to sacrifice a person, you need their permission, but if the person is a parent with a still living child (direct child, not step) the child can give permission for their parent/s to be sacrificed to the gods.

Only works with mothers/father and son/daughters

Your niece cant give your soul to the gods unfortunately and neither can your granchild

But your direct kid can

If your lips get chapped, then does that mean the skin on your anus gets chapped, too?

Okay can i be honest here? I really hate it when people say this. Some do. Very few. I got one of the very few. My managers son is a straight trans man, and is one of the craziest, kindest ladies I've ever met.

I work at a ren faire, and in my first year, i didnt have any garb to wear that wasnt fem (im trans masc) so when i got the company provided uniforms (they were trash) my manager noticed i didnt have a belt. What did she do? Asked her son who previously worked the faire if i could borrow a belt. She came back with a belt and said "here, my son said you can keep it, he doesn't use his stuff much any more :)"

And this belt has been my day to day belt every day since then. That was 3 years ago.

Another instance was relatively recently, where i had my sr prom. I didnt have anything masc to wear. So what did she do? Asked her son if he'd be alright with me borrowing his clothes, and he was. I ended up being able to find everything i wanted through thrifting. Her son even wants to go thrufting some time!

And if i see ANYTHING saying the ren faire isnt a real job because it's only during the weekend or some other bs BECAUSE IT IS and i would claw my way through for that statement and my manager and her son and my whole work team because theyre all so lovely and nice.

Doing this bc omg, I love filling things out! Thank you OP!

Colors!

- yellows, oranges, red, greens, blues, pinks, everything except a few purples :)

Animals!

- red pandas, rabbits, corvids, deer, and horses!

Plants!

-tomatoestomatoestomatoestomatoestomatoesto

Motifs/Patterns/Aesthetics!

- yes :)

Scents!

- mens cologne and forests

Flavors!

- teas, artificial strawberry, artificial grape (fight me), mango, potato bread, and soups!

Snacks!

- entirely depends on mood, unfortunately. In general, fruit snacks, nutrigrain fruit bars, crackers, nuts and dried fruits.

Beverages!

-juicejuocejuicejuicejuicejuicejuicejuicejuicejuicejuic

Hobbies!

- yarn work, wood carving, coloring with colored pencils (has to be prismacolor), drawing on my computer, reading webcomics

Things to collect!

- tea sets, antique pieces (picky), antique clothes (picky), cups, spoons (not the decorative ones, i just like collecting different spoons)

Show/Movie/Book etc!

- I have to watch shows and movies with another person to be interested (body doubling yippee!) But i love love love going and watching new movies in theaters! And the only books I'll ever read again in this whole wide world would be The Secret Life Of Bees or The Outsiders

@1-800-fxck-boy you have to do one too now

- Jeremiah (hi im new! Well not new, but I finally remembered my name! Yippee!)

was closing out tabs & i found this Favorites Questionnaire i started putting together in the interest of Making It Easier To Find Random Little Things For People (in terms of gift giving, post sending, etc). fill it out so people can find random little things for you with ease

Colors

Animals

Plants

Motifs/Patterns/Aesthetics

Scents

Flavors

Snacks

Beverages

Hobbies

Things to Collect

Show/Movie/Book/Etc