Latest Posts by asheatsspiders - Page 3

its so sweet to me whenever a reconstruction of a neanderthal's face shows up on social media and people are like "oh they would have loved minecraft" "they would have loved weed brownies" it's so sweet. i hope that continues on to the next stage of human evolution. i want whoever comes next to dig me up, reconstruct my face, and for the girlbloggers of this far-flung civilization to go "duuuude she would have loved churfing back a freefing zarbee"

This website is so so so good

nurse feratu and dr. acula are ready to see you for your blood tests

for me marvins last name is like those bits in cartoons when something absurdly comedic happens and we cant listen what the characters are saying. Like 'Hey nice to meet you, my name is marvin- *an absurdly loud bus passes by causing the audience to not hear the last name but somehow the other character catches it*. 'The reservation is under the name marvin- *the saxophonist playing at the restaurant has an incredibly loud solo*. 'Im whizzer brown and he is marvin- *someone sneezes and the conversation swiftly moves on*. 'My name is marvin btw, marvin- *the scene drastically changes*. like its supposed to make the audience mad they don't have this minuscule and useless piece of information just cause the writers dont want to share it.

major traffic incident

its 2024 i dont think i should have to pee just because i drank something

Make me the subject of your desire

i said it was my favorite piece of media that i’ve hyperfixated on since the tender age of 12 and have not let go of since. i didnt say it was a Good piece of media

i understand why people like the queue and i do respect you guys for using it but that is just not how i roll. if i think these 37 posts are funny you’re seeing them right fucking now

TRUE CRIME PODCASTER: *in the same cadence you would tell a preschooler a bedtime story* ...and this guy was kinda freakin gross! He would hang his victims on meat hooks in his shack! I'm not gonna lie guys, that sounds pretty icky! Major red flag moment, LOL! But do you know who WOULDNT send you human organs? Our sponsor, HelloFresh!

LOST MEDIA YOUTUBER: *in the same cadence you would issue a debriefing on a terrorist attack* Number 7. The Oonglydoomples. *scary transition sound to slowed down footage of a kids show with a crt filter over it* The Oonglydoomples was a kids show on Nick Jr that ran from 2001 to 2003 that was about Jake Oonglydoomple's adventures in the big city. Only one episode of it has ever surfaced online. We have tried to get into contact with the shows creator, Mark Wankencock, but we've had no luck. Maybe someday, we'll all oonglydoomp once again.

Geena Davis posing with a bug for a promotional shoot of "Beetlejuice", featured in Prevue magazine, 1988 ♡

Siouxsie Sioux | circa.1981 by Joe Bangay

thinking about this again

reblog if you would give cheeses to these meeces

my favorite hannibal bit is when will says some weird shit and everyone stares at him

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. (I accidentally clicked the wrong button on a Tumblr poll and incorrectly skewed the results.)

rb to have a super gay 2023

things to not dwell on:

people who treated you badly

things you can’t change

comparing yourself to others

things to think about more:

baby animals

people who love u unconditionally

good things in your life that make you happy

days and times to look forward to

the narrative: *starts the third act by repeating a scene from the first act but now it has a totally different context*

me: ohoHOhohoHOHOhoHO

in many ways being alive is about opening your curtains after getting out of bed

it's that time of year again everybody

it takes 10 layers of the water filter to completely drown a tumblr screenshot if anyone was wondering