This Is Juneteenth.

Here’s my epic autism moment- my pizza tower and PvZ ocs!!

Why is a plants vs zombies zombie oc trans? Because I said so, that’s why lmao. If a plant can go by they/them, surely a zombie can use pronouns. Idk lol

Anyways here’s the description of both of them-

Alice/August (he/him for both)-

They are my self-insert, with August being an alter-ego/transformed version of Alice (not actually my deadname.) I designed them with a noise/noisette kinda style. August is extroverted and courageous, while Alice is introverted and cowardly. When Alice feels confident and happy enough, they transform/switch into August. People think they are completely different people, but they at least share the same body. They’re kind of a representation of my online and offline self. Alice is usually called a “she”, but he’s a he. He doesn’t tell anyone what he goes by, and avoids the question whenever possible.

Nico (he/him)-

Nico is a zombie that is generally very intelligent compared to the others, but he is much less tough. He has a bit of a “zombie” accent, but tries to get speech therapy to get rid of the voice. He is the son of Dr. Edgar Zomboss, possibly explaining his above-average intelligence; it’s unknown if he has any siblings. Zomboss refuses to call him his son, referring to him as a “she” and by his deadname “Nicole”. Nico does not eat brains, but will occasionally eat pork brains as a sort of treat. He’s on the plants/humans side, and wants to defeat his father. He has an advantage, as he learned a lot about his father before he left his household so he knows a lot of his plans. Plants know not to attack him, as he’s pretty visually distinct.

[Start ID: First image is of my Pizza Tower oc, Alice/August. They have blonde hair, blue eyes, and wear glasses. August is who Alice tranforms into when he feels confident/happy enough. Alice wears a white shirt, blue jeans, and has his blond hair in a bob. August wears a teal cape, a binder, and cargo pants and has his blond hair short in a middle part. The second image is my plants vs zombies oc, Nico. He looks like a typical pvz zombie, except his pupils are slightly larger. He wears headphones, has brown hair, wears a white shirt with a binder underneath, wears cargo pants, and has a trans pride pin. /End ID]

Diary entry #5

You ever so obsessed with a fandom or character that you look at people/things irl and think "hey that looks a lot like [character]!!)

That's the phase of hyperfixation I'm knee deep rn. Plants Vs Zombies hardly has any backstory! We don't know major details about most characters! It's literally a tower defense game that Popcap is actually destroying but I can't help it!! I lose myself in fictional stories, I can't stop thinking about them. If the pvz franchise drops a lore book I'm gonna eat that shit up!!

Also I wanted to read American Teenager, the new book about multiple trans teens in America. I read something similar and I liked it quite a lot even though it was outdated. It's not on Libby yet, and I'm not really supposed to read about trans issues anyways because my grandparents will ask way too many questions. (And I'll probably accidentally out myself.) I might sneak buy it with the christmas gifts I get on amazon this christmas. If any of you have a (legal) way to read it, that'd be great!! I want to support the author.

TYSM!!

A dumb idea that I had while at work that is now real thanks to me drawing it: the alphabet mafia!! I think the term alphabet mafia is way too funny for conservatives to use, I kind of like it even if it's supposed to be bad lol

I tried to be creative with the designs but they kinda suck, also fun fact the bisexual person is nonbinary because I wanted to include a nonbinary person as well :)

[ID: a digital drawing with a rainbow pride flag background of the alphabet mafia, a group of queer people who have weapons and color schemes associated with their pride flags /END ID]

this speaking as a cis person. Nothing brings me more joy seeing people find gender euphoria in becoming a mediocre representation of humanity. And I mean that so genuinely. Local boy finds joy and fulfillment wearing a cargo shorts and t-shirt combo. Local girl has transitioned to look like someone's disheveled aunt, has never been happier. Local person experiences gender euphoria rocking the world's worst bowl-cut. Without a scap of irony, this shit makes me see the wonder and whimsy in just, being a human. An average, person going through their day-to-day, is a wondrous thing? That's amazing. And heteronormativity has stripped these experiences of their joy. Like you're right, wearing a basic girlypop skirt should make my heart sing. Why not? Why are these expressions lesser because they're normal? All this to say. Shoutout to all the basic bitches out there. Yes that polo shirt does make you look like a divorced golfer dad. Yes, that too is kind of a slay, now that I think of it.

One time I found art of Peppino Spaghetti from Pizza tower (blorbo that will not get out of my head) w/ a phalloplasty scar and it felt like a part of my soul healed that day

You see so so many transmasc/trans man characters in art with top surgery scars but almost none with phallo scars.

just remembered I can draw my favorite characters with phalloplasty scars… the world is so beautiful…

This literally happened to me on a reddit post, I was bitching about my life (as usual) and some guy pulled up with the "buddy" and "boy" and was trying to be nice but was kinda infantilizing me. I didn't say anything bc I didn't want to ruin his day but it did make me uncomfortable. I'm not a toddler I'm a grown man and it does make me feel a little off y'know

challenge: there is a trans man. he is pre-medical transition. you must not infantilize him. go.

Had to draw over this one, most real image I've ever seen in my life.

[ID: two images with the same caption, one drawn over by op with him in it replacing the original person. The caption reads "what I lack in penis size, I also lack in money and basic social skills" in both images. The original image is a GQ magazine picture with Ryan Gosling doing a pose. The new image has the trans flag in the background with op doing the same pose. /END ID]

Be gay, trans and alive

Tw- transphobia

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Talking to a therapist lady and my grandma goes “”she”” wants to transgender. SHE WANTS TO TRANSGENDER. Fucking hilarious but not so funny when you realize she doesn’t support me at all. She thinks it’s some sort of trend or choice? Or something? I don’t really know. I mean I kinda get it sorta because I change my mind very quickly on things but transitioning isn’t, like, a super fast process… you don’t have to jump to T right away, it can start slow! Also I’ve known I was trans for about two years now. But this means I *might* be able to change her mind… idk though. All I want is to feel comfortable in my own skin but I suppose that’s too much to ask. Also the therapist lady asked if I was influenced by anything… bruh. I’ve known for two years at this point, if this was a hyperfixation it would’ve been gone by now. Sorry that I prefer to be called “he” I guess. Now I’m doubting myself, but maybe that was the point. I don’t know what else to add, so post over I guess.

Tw family stuff, dysphoria, sui ig

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Diary entry #6

My mood switched up so fast it's not even funny. Like 1 1/2 hours ago I was perfectly fine but now my grandma yelled at my sister and now I am doing awful. The funny part? I don't even 100% know what they were arguing about or even if they did argue for as long as I think they did, because I was listening to Dance Of Life by Maretu for as long as I could to avoid it.

She snapped at me too, even though it wasn't that bad it won't stop replaying in my head. She acts just like one of those bitchy high school girls, eye rolling and all and it fucking pisses me off. I should be grateful but I'm not because they (my grandpa and grandma) refuse to let me on T or- god forbid- even cut my hair. I can't even dress somewhat masculine because I look like a (d slur). Like 98% of the time they're okay to good, but those 2% moments make me wish I weren't alive.

I just want to be out of the house already. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I can't live like this. I just can't. I don't like how I look and my body repulses me because it's not right and I can't do a damn thing about it.

I need to calm down but I don't know how.