Bookstore Magic

I could write a thousand poems for you but surely, you’ll revise it and send it to her. :)

"It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them."

– Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices 2)

"It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them."

– Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices 2)

I could write a thousand poems for you but surely, you’ll revise it and send it to her. :)

“You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it.” - Charles Buxton

“People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.” - Epictetus

“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.” - Oprah Winfrey

I would love to die in space. So if ever I'll become an astronaut and the mission failed even before the vessel I'm in haven't landed yet, don't feel sorry or sad. I've died away from people! Why feel that way! It's actually freaking awesome!

Sat, Feb 20, 2021 - Sun, Feb 21, 2021 (Hah. I wrote this at 11 PM and finished at 12 AM.)

Have you ever envied people because they have group of friends? Their bond: the meet ups, group dates, group pictures, tagging on social medias because they somehow reminded them of this thing, and the way they talk to each other—yes, the comfortability.

Because I have. And I dislike it. I dislike feeling this way. It reminds me of how much of a loner I am—which shouldn't seem negative but it feels like it.

I don't have friends, and I say it's my fault. I am so asocial. Searching up my name results to the synonyms cold, dismissive, bitch-faced, nerd. Or may be, looking it up results to nothing at all because I am just no one. I am a nobody.

I want to have friends. But thinking about it now, it's impossible.

The kinds of friends I want? The extroverted ones. And extroverts seem to not like introverts. According to them, us, introverts are plain, boring, awkward, stoic. We are not fun to be with.

That's why it's really impossible to have what I want.

Imagine having a group photo where everyone else is posing so carefree, so chaotic and... there's me, standing straight, posing a peace sign, with an of course, awkward smile. Really not nice, right?

So what I'm saying is... I don't know. Really. Just why can't I have friends like that? Why can't I experience those things?

Maybe, my friends are really just books. Only that, I can't converse to them verbally. I can't share foods with them. Laugh together—because it would be so weird if books really laugh with me.

Hmm-mm. Friends.

...

...

Didn't I just wish earlier to be away with people?

Shit.