Pater Meus (Part 2)

PLEASE, OH PLEASE LET THIS BECOME AN ACTUAL ANIME!

You know those anime meta posts along the lines of “I was born with pink hair. The doctors told my parents I was a Main Character and ever since my life has not known peace from demons/spirits/sports competitions/harems who find me”

Well I see that, and I raise you this:

An anime boy whose appearance is, by absolutely anyone’s account, completely and utterly average. Mundane hair. Mundane eyes. Not even glasses to set him the tiniest bit apart. A simple, unmemorable, unrecognizable civilian among a backdrop of millions.

And he has a lot of passions, and a lot of ambitions, which he hones every chance he gets. He’s dabbled in sports and archery and cooking and just about anything you could wrap a competition around. And he’s competed in many of these. Every chance he gets. With all of his passion and all of his might.

He’s crushed by the competition every single time.

Until one day–one day something clicks for him. Something that should have seemed obvious from the start and yet never was–as though everyone, including himself, was unwittingly blind to it. It clicks, when he realizes every kid who’s beaten him in competition, every kid who’s gone on to fame and glory and acclaim, has been some candy-haired gel-spiked ridiculously-dressed fucker. 

There’s some trend there that this Main Character boy can’t explain and can’t understand but he decides, this one time, fuck it. He’ll play along too. He’s got a model train competition in four days, and he’s got nothing more to lose. He hits up the department store, buys the pinkest, noxious-est, fruitiest hair dye he can find, the spikiest hair gel available, and the gaudiest clothes on the thrift rack. He enters the model train competition looking like a bubble gum gijinka.

And he wins.

Suddenly, the other candy-haired contestants notice him. They talk to him. They pledge rivalries. Girls notice him. Judges applaud him. Acclaimed model train aficionados offer him internships across the world. He’s hit on something. 

The main cast expands to cover just about every candy-hair cliche in the book: from the mostly-normal-looking demure school girl with the blue hair to the Naruto-est, yelling-est boy with the red-and-green spiked hair. The cool megane senpais, the purple haired tsunderes, suddenly everyone is interested in him. They’re prodigies and upstarts and underdogs and they truly believe that this main character boy is one of them.

So the main character boy maintains his ruse. He touches up his roots at dawn every morning and carefully attends to his gelled spikes and tells absolutely no one about this great, uncanny, unfathomable secret he’s stumbled upon. He wins his competitions left and right. He racks up the acclaim. He’s hailed as a prodigy of all trades, just now bursting onto the scene, and boils to the top of all his candy-haired peers.

He’s rising up, his every dream within his grasp. Until one day he gets a note under his door, taped to an old picture of his Normal Boring self from middle school, that says “You don’t belong”

HOW ABOUT WE DON'T SUPPORT THIS STUPID ASS BILL?!

🚨🚨🚨URGENT PLEASE READ AND REBLOG

dec 13, 2022

we literally have just a few days to act. the senate is debating about putting KOSA, the Kids Online Safety Act, into the omnibus spending bill. if it is added, it WILL pass. despite the title and content of the bill seeming to be about protecting kids, we know everytime someone claims they are "saving the children" they have more sinister goals

which is why Senator Blumenthal is working with one of the biggest transphobes in the senate, Marsha Blackburn, to force this bill through, and claiming they are listening to LGBT voices when they are blatantly ignoring us.

essentially this bill gives every state attorney generals the power to remove anything they deem 'harmful' to kids online. you can see how a state like Texas or Florida would run with that, yes? it also forces you to upload your government ID online to access the internet. the bill will create a 'commission' led by handpicked members of the govt to oversee what is and isn't allowed online. it will lead to mass censorship of anything related to race or LGBT content. in a post-Roe world too? say goodbye to any abortion/sex-related info.

they are doing a shit ton of PR for this, including claiming they are listening to LGBT voices. i mean just look.

two weeks ago, 90+ human rights, LGBT, and tech orgs signed onto an open letter telling Senators NOT to pass this bill. in response, over 230 orgs led by the American Psychological Association signed a letter urging senators to. it's really fucking bad. like i can't sleep because of this. i didn't expect this to happen. we really really need people to speak up.

if this bill goes through it will literally kill off the internet as we know it

sign the open letter and petitions against KOSA here

the best way to fight against this bill is to call these specific senators (if you have dem senators, call them too)

maria cantwell (202) 224-3441

chuck schumer (202) 224-6542

nancy pelosi (202) 225-4965

call script below:

Hello Senator __:

My name is _, and I strongly urge you to oppose the dangerously misguided KOSA bill from being added to the omnibus spending bill. Bills like this should not be included in spending bills. Over 90 human rights and LGBT organizations have spoken out against this bill.

KOSA gives state attorney generals full power to sue any website if they see it has anything that is “inappropriate for children”'. For the past year, Republicans claimed everything LGBT is “grooming” children and we ended up with a shooting in Colorado and bomb threats sent to hospitals, NO senator should support a bill with vague phrasing like this. Before that, they successful removed books on race due to "CRT". This gives them a pass to do this to the entire internet. KOSA will only lead to more harm towards minorities and LGBT youth across the nation by censoring everything online.

The Heritage Foundation said they will use KOSA to target LGBT kids, specifically trans kids. In a post-Roe world, they will even use KOSA to censor resources on abortion. Anything they dislike will be targeted.

A bill this huge and this impactful should not be added to any spending bill. Even if it was a small bill, it has nothing to do with the omnibus spending bill and shouldn't be added at ALL. It needs more time being discussed. There should be hearings on it as well

We all care about kids mental health. We all want to hold Big Tech accountable, but this is NOT it. This will give Big Tech more power while taking away resources from the most vulnerable children. It is not the solution.

Please, do NOT support this bill. Do the right thing, and VOTE NO on KOSA.

As someone who recently had to make a tuna pasta salad that my mom loves again, I agree with preserving recipes. The website where I originally found the recipe (Southern Living) had it taken down. I found it on another website before it was taken down as well. Lucky for me, I screenshotted the ingredients list beforehand. I'm either too lazy to write all recipes I find down, not motivated enough, etc., but I should write them down though. Another incident similar to this was when my mom had to phone one of my aunts over the brand of clams used in a linguini recipe she gave us. I feel like Tumblr's algorithm's secretly listening to my conversations with my mom because we had the "preserving recipes" discussion before.

You should be starting a recipe book. I don't give a shit if you're only 20-years-old. The modern web is rotting away bit by bit before our very eyes. You have no idea when that indie mom blog is going down or when Pinterest will remove that recipe. Copy it down in a notebook, physically or digitally. Save it somewhere only you can remove it. Trust me, looking for a recipe only to find out it's been wiped off the internet is so fucking sad. I've learned my lesson one too many times.

Lilia in the 2nd panel has me absolutely deceased. Not even the 3rd panel has gotten me as much as the previous one.

it’s been another bad art week, so here’s a bunch of even rougher than usual doodles that I’m probably not going to do anything else with :U

there’s lots of other stuff I should probably be drawing instead, but honestly, I just wanna make dumb twst jokes right now. sorry!

Wdym you explained them badly? XD

I Describe the Obey Me Characters Really Badly:

Lucifer: Struggling single father with no emotional intelligence and the horniest fans.

Mammon: Former gifted kid now local fuckup with ADHD, burnout, and a thing for praise. He’s the person in Central Park surrounded by pigeons except the pigeons are crows. Perpetually broke. Invested in Bitcoin.

Leviathan: The guy that had a totally normal life and childhood until about 15 minutes into the documentary when they start talking about how he never left his fucking room. They then blame his crimes on all the violent video games and anime he watched.

Satan: Nerd that can and will snap you in half like a toothpick if you give him a reason. Part time catboy, full time menace to Lucifer.

Asmodeus: Beauty Youtuber and influencer. Yes, influencer is a very sinister title and it fits him perfectly. He’s pure evil, he’s the sweetest boy, I want to braid his hair, I want to slap him in the face, I want to hold his hand and tell him he’s loved, I want to put shaving cream in his shampoo.

Beelzebub: The only person in a twenty mile radius with an ounce of emotional intelligence in his body. He eats to fill the void, but also works out so he’s shredded as fuck.

Belphegor: Simultaneously the biggest brat in existence and the sweetest thing. Will end your bloodline and not feel bad, then go give hugs to his twin.

Diavolo: Part time himbo, full time pain in Lucifer’s neck. Starved for attention and affection, he’s so lonely… he’s also a member of the aristocracy so VIVE LE PROLETARIAT UPRISING!

Barbatos: Far more sus than Solomon but no one acts like it. Can see through time and space but chooses not to because he’s loyal to his part time Himbo prince.

Simeon: Was mischaracterized by the fandom until midway through season 2. Lucifer’s annoying ex brother. Brother breakup 🥺 also totally a spy. Another single father. The reason schools have a “cover your sinful shoulders” rule. Shifty as fuck but also the only person I’d trust.

Solomon: Was dubbed a meme lord once upon a time ago, now he is a grandpa. Chronic mansplainer with magic and anxiety. Has probably set you on fire.

Luke: Racist ten year old. Your son. Simeon’s son. Everyone’s son. He’s also a chihuahua. Love him.

For context, this person & I are in the middle of an rp where Malleus had a sister who was transported to Planet Popstar (yes, the same one from the Kirby series) when she was a baby. She gets taken to Night Raven College via a horse drawn carriage (the same one seen in the prologue of the game, etc.) when she's an adult.

When Lilia saw her at the end of the entrance ceremony, he was 100% certain she was the VoT's long-lost princess.

Yuu wasn't 100% sure & wanted to take some DNA tests to prove it (she didn't want to give Malleus false hope). While the results are being processed, Malleus is losing sleep from the emotional turmoil of losing his sibling & the idea that his sibling returned.

Malleus Draconia

(Y/n): (Mumbles after they stub their toe against some furniture) Fuck me...

Malleus: (Looks at (Y/n) with a seductive look on their face) Well that can be arranged, my love.

(Y/n): (Realizes that Malleus heard what they've said) WAIT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

THIS! THIS HAS GOT TO BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE ENTRIES FOR THIS EVENT!

Here’s my contribution to the #flowersformalleus event hosted by @humbuns ! Thank you so much and I hope I’m not too late! 👉👈

Oh no...

You're finally home, master...

And with this, my little Halloween twst 'series' comes to an end.

Also, the ending of this is open to interpretation :)

Warning(s): delusional yandere Malleus

You had inherited an old, abandoned house from one of your distant relatives. Your relative told you that the original owner of the house died nearly 100 years ago, and that your family has owned the house ever since. Though, no one's ever been inside.

You decided to check out the place, since you didn't really see the harm in it... you're sure nothing bad could happen.

You entered the huge house.

"I knew it... I just knew you wouldn't leave me forever...!"

"Who's there?!" You asked, looking around as the door shut behind you.

"It's been so long, master... but now you're home, you're finally home."

A man wearing silk clothes walked out of the darkness. He had bright green eyes, large horns on his head, and a tail dragging being him.

You were speechless. Who is this man?! Why is he in this house?! Why is he calling you master?!

"Are you well? What's with your face, master?"

"Who are you?" You asked, voice shaking.

"Hm? What do you mean? Master, have you forgotten me? I've been your familiar ever since you were a child, don't you remember?"

"I don't know who you are!" You told him. "I-I've never had a familiar, or whatever you said! And stop calling me master!J-just (Y/N) is more than fine!"

"(Y/N)...?" He asked. "No, that isn't your name. Your name is-"

"My name is (Y/N)! N-now if you'll excuse me, I should probably get going..."

You turned around, and tried to open the door, but... it wouldn't budge. You're stuck in this house with... whoever this is.

"W-why won't the door open?!" You demanded.

"Master, don't you remember what happened last time? You injured youself and commanded me to stay and take care of the house while you made your way to the hospital. You clearly must've gotten lost... you've only just now come home. I simply can't let you leave the house."

"Y-you there, what's your name...?" You asked. You were planning on calling the police, hopefully they can do something about this...

"Master, I'm happy with whatever name you wish to give me."

"Uh... ok... how about Tsunotaro...? Y'know, because of your, um, horns..." You suggested, thinking this man is for sure crazy.

"If you want to call me that I shall allow it."

You pulled out your phone to call the police, but it seemed Tsunotaro noticed that and grabbed your phone away before you could.

"What is this, master?" He asked, observing it. "No matter. Regardless of what this is, it may be harmful to you. I'll be taking this."

"What?! No, give that back! You can't just-"

"Master, my only purpose is to protect you. Until I understand what this thin box is, I will keep it away from you. For your sake." Tsunotaro told you. "For now, it's getting late. I suggest you head upstairs and sleep."

Tsunotaro escorted you upstairs, and shoved you into a bedroom. He shut and locked the door, leaving you comepletely alone in a mansion bedroom.

You decided to look around, not really knowing what else you could do. This man, claiming to be your familiar, won't let you leave this house and has locked you in a bedroom with bars on the windows... not much else to do except look around.

While searching through the bedroom, you found a portrait. A painted portrait, the date signed in the corner showed it was almost 100 years old...

It was a portrait of Tsunotaro, standing beside the original owner of this house.

Someone who looked exactly like you.

A Cautionary Warning

Hello everyone, it's Akihiko here. I've been thinking of whether to put this up, but I decided to anyway since the future of this blog rests on it.

Please do not repost my works anywhere, especially my English works. This goes to platforms I'm aware of such as Tiktok, Twitter, Youtube, Wattpad and Ao3 (I have my own Ao3 account which I will reupload some works when I have time).

I have to admit, making my works into English takes effort because English is not my first language AND I initially make my drafts into Japanese, one of my mother tongues then translate them for this blog.

Especially for those who really enjoy my content, seeing it on other sites hurts my extra efforts to run this English blog on top of my home life, health, study and work.

Any reupload of my works will heavily weigh on my mind to stop writing in English completely, and put an end to this blog.

Please respect my efforts and I will try my best to deliver content to you 🙇‍♂️