BEHOLD

The ultimate mix and match qucik bread recipe:

if something is beautiful it should be shared and cherished, and this banana bread recipe is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It’s a formula for making quick breads/muffins from a Food Network Magazine from like 2012 and it works miracles. It’s so flexible and delicious. Also ignore the part where it says to only use 1 fruit or vegetable type, I’ve mixed and matched to get to 1 cup. My all time favorite is banana zucchini bread. And it’s scalable!! I love using it to use up produce thats about to go bad. Its a very flexible and adaptible recipe/ recipe framework. Recipe in text form:

Choose a Flavor: Prepare one cup of fruit or vegetable (1 kind) such as pear(shredded and squezzed dry), apple(shredded and squezzed dry), banana(mashed), carrot(shredded), or zucchini(shredded and squezzed dry) *Note from me: I have used mixtures of multiple of these fruits/veggies adding up to one cup like a mix of zucchini and banana with great results. I have also had sucess using 1/4 cup cut up dried fruit (such as raisins) mixed with 3/4 cup warmed up applesauce*

Pick Your Mix-Ins: Choose up to 1 3/4 cups total of the following ingredients (use no more than 3/4 cup nuts). Toast and chop any nuts; chop any large dried fruit: walnuts, pecans, almonds, hazelnuts, pistachios, dried cherries, dried cranberries, dried currants, raisins, dried figs, dried apricots, pitted dried dates, rolled oats, chocolate chips, shredded coconut. *Note from me: I never add oats, but if you do add a lot of them you may have to decrease the amount of flour you use slightly*

Prepare the Pan: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly butter one 9-by-5-inch loaf pan or three 6-by-3-inch mini pans. *Note from me: you can also use muffin or mini muffin tins*

Make the Batter: Mix 1 1/4 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, 1 teaspoon each baking powder and salt, and 1/2 teaspoon each baking soda, cinnamon and nutmeg in a large bowl; add your dry mix-ins (from step 2). In a medium bowl, whisk 2 eggs, 1/2 cup cooled melted butter or vegetable oil, 1/2 cup plain yogurt or sour cream, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract and 1 teaspoon citrus zest (optional). Stir your fruit or vegetables (from step 1) into the egg mixture, then fold into the dry mixture until just combined. *Note from me: you can use any mix of white & brown sugar, and you can use AP flour or a mix of AP and whole wheat flour, also playing around with differnt seasonings and flavorings is fun*

Bake the Loaf: Spread the batter in the prepared pan/pans. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean, about 55 minutes for a standard loaf, 35 to 40 minutes for mini loaves. Cool 30 minutes in the pan(s) on a rack, then turn out onto the rack to cool completely. *Note from me: check at like 15-20 minutes for muffins*

Make a Glaze: Prepare a glaze, pour on the cooled bread and let set, 15 to 20 minutes. Chocolate: Whisk 1 cup confectioners' sugar, 2 tablespoons cocoa powder, 2 tablespoons milk, 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract and a pinch of salt. Vanilla Bean: Whisk 1 cup confectioners' sugar, 1 tablespoon milk and the seeds from 1 vanilla bean. Brown Butter: Brown 3 tablespoons butter over low heat; cool slightly. Whisk with 1/2 cup confectioners' sugar and 1 tablespoon milk. Use immediately. Citrus: Whisk 1 cup confectioners' sugar, 1 tablespoon each milk and citrus juice, and 1 teaspoon citrus zest. Cream Cheese: Whisk 1 cup confectioners' sugar, 3 tablespoons softened cream cheese, 2 tablespoons milk and 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract.

Happy baking and enjoy!!!

my breakdown picture

bad news, euclid fans! i just disproved his assertation that parallel lines don't intersect for their entire infinite length. i walked along them for approximately 8.6 x 10⁸ km and you know what i found? that's right, a tangle.

they don't touch for the rest of their infinite length though, i did check. in both directions.

Vampire Horse 2: Vampire Horse and The Werewolf Bandit.

The adventures of Vampire Horse and the Vampire Cowboy continue…

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Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide

This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.

How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:

The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours

It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people

Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.

Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.

Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)

The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.

It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*

If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people

So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.

Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit

Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen

Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **

General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.

Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something

Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill

* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them

** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone

Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty

Megalopolis (2024)

goodbye brazilian twitter you will be missed dearly 😔

I heard there's a TB outbreak in Kansas right now?? Do you know if there's anything we can do to help?

There is ongoing spread of TB in Kansas--so far, 67 cases of active disease.

I want to be clear this is a tiny, tiny fraction of the overall global burden of tuberculosis: 10,000,000 people get sick with TB every year, and 1,250,000 die (almost all of whom die unnecessarily--TB is curable).

It's also a small fraction of the U.S. burden of TB--we have about 10,000 cases of TB annually in the U.S. It's an airborne disease, so we shouldn't be surprised that people are getting sick. We should be horrified that we're allowing so many people to get sick even though TB is both curable and preventable. (We can stop chains of infection by offering preventative antibiotics to close contacts of the sick.)

We should absolutely be worried about TB in the United States. An airborne disease that's allowed to infect and sicken ten million people each year is an ongoing threat to all humans. But we should also remember that while we worry about a hypothetical TB pandemic, much of the world has never emerged from the TB pandemic that has lasted for thousands of years and killed many billions of people.

Should you be worried about contracting TB? Yes. But you should mostly be worried that the U.S. government has paused all TB funding, which will increase antibiotic resistance, needless death, and the risk that untreatable versions of the disease will emerge and spread.