Guy Who Has Ibuprofen: I Have Ibuprofen If You Need It Btw

Brennan pointing out the sisyphean nature of the ball rolling up the hill doesn't stop me from saying it to myself for reassurance every time I am even slightly inconvenienced

yes yes yes yes yES YES YES YES YES YES

From the people who brought you Squid Facts, Horseshoe Crab is Calling

I don't know about you, but I need a little joy right now. Earlier this month, I was walking down the street in my neighborhood and I came upon this:

I was like "Wow. Ok. Yes I AM picking that up." I couldn't resist! What an enticing strategy!

I had to try it myself.

After kicking the idea around with a few friends, I landed on "Horseshoe Crab is calling", and we updated to the modern iOS. Maybe i should have kept the green and red, I'm not sure.

Who the hell wouldn't be intrigued by this?!

(P.S. shout out to Basic Barbie, another street artist in the city who is unapologetically femme in a predominantly male scene. We love Basic Barbie.)

The link on the bottom goes to a list of actionable things people can do to slow climate change. Very curious to see how many people visit the page.

If you would like the print file so you can get business cards printed yourself to pepper around your natural habitat, DM me. Happy to share.

I uh. I let AIs generate pictures for all the Dimension 20 campaigns I've seen and then set them as Penguin Classic covers

my last polaroid of 2020

sdxfcgvzdxfcgvhzdxfcgvhbjnkmlcgvhbjnk science

HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT

you just don't get shit like this with 8-episode streaming seasons

Ahhhh mutuals I have been suckered into helping with a baked sale, any recommendations for things that are popular and cool and hip with the youths???? The only two things I can think of are those cookies that pillsbury sells with the spooky shapes on them. And maybe sunny buddies, the delicious sunflower butter knock off of muddie buddies but I don’t know if people would want to buy that???? Please give me your most Pinterest mom, secret family recipe, popular baked goods requests please I am begging you, thank you so much!

Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide

This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.

How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:

The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours

It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people

Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.

Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.

Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)

The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.

It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.

You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*

If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people

So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.

Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit

Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen

Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **

General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.

Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something

Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill

* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them

** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone

Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty