I Was Like "Aww A Diglett Themed Don-- Oh"

ok i just got this thought out of nowhere but blog divers (people who scroll through a blog and reblog things that were posted YEARS AGO) are actually a super important part of the tumblr ecosystem

With people going inactive and deactivating, a lot of classic tumblr posts and also missed gems get lost because those connections get broken. Even on my own blog I forget about posts I made until I see someone in my activity reblog one of them- which then inspires me to reblog it myself because it was a good post and I want my new followers to see

do not feel bad about diving through someone's blog and reblogging shit from years ago, it keeps dashboards alive

(and if anyone has a problem with that, they can just block you or they can delete the root post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, two things that have absolutely no effect on the grand scheme of our lives)

Laid Bare

WinterIron, M, 2k - No-Powers AU, the DUMBEST soulmate AU you’ve ever seen

In theory, the moment you meet your soulmate you’re stripped of all your defenses, laid bare before them in a magical and romantic moment.

In practice… Tony is pissed. He’d really liked that suit.

(AKA the soulmate AU where you lose your clothes when you meet your soulmate. Yes you read that correctly. Don’t think about it too hard lort knows I didn’t)

You ever have an idea that’s so fantastically cracky you just HAVE to do it?

See what happened was…. I said to @saganarojanaolt, AS A JOKE, “Soulmate AU where your clothes vanish.” I’d like to blame her for enabling me but honestly this is mostly all me I just couldn’t stop ahahaha please… enjoy..?

-

Tony knows that Happy has been tactfully avoiding him since the latest incident, but he also knows that Happy is going to be in his office all day today. Tony has had Pepper saving up all of Happy’s paperwork all week to dump it on him today for just that reason, because Tony is tired of chasing him all over the place and Pepper has refused to help any more than that.

And JARVIS won’t help either, that traitor, just because Happy plays chess with the AI and never gets tired of being beat.

But now Happy has nowhere to run, he should be done with the interviews Tony saw on his calendar and just diving into the paperwork and Tony is ready to strike.

“Happy Harold Hogan,” Tony is already saying as he bursts into the office and oops, apparently Happy is not quite done with his last interview yet.

That seems the most likely reason for the man with the brand new suit and the broad shoulders standing across the desk from Happy, apparently forgetting that they were in the middle of shaking hands and jumping as he looks up at Tony with wide eyes. It’s too late to stop now though, Tony has been planning this speech for days, he is on a roll, so he just keeps right on going.

And honestly, if the guy is going to work here he deserves to know that his new boss is a lunatic. And yes, Tony does mean Happy and himself.

“I have a very important question for you,” Tony says, fixing his own attention on Happy again because he doesn’t need to add ‘eyes up the employees’ to this interesting first impression he’s making on the new hire here.

Happy is staring back at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyebrows slowly crawling up his forehead, which Tony is going to take as a sign that he doesn’t want the talking-to he’s about to get but that’s too bad.

“Why,” Tony demands, “am I still hearing that you’re frisking the delivery people? We talked about this. There’s 'taking security seriously’ and then there’s you and you are a lawsuit waiting to happen, stop-”

That’s about the time Tony notices Happy’s office is a lot cooler than he expected. And breezier. Which isn’t right, Tony is in a three piece suit today and he rushed down here before Happy had a chance to grab his paperwork and flee, so he glances dam at himself and sure enough-

“Oh come on,” Tony says, staring down at his own bare chest in dismay. And his bare legs. And his stupid novelty boxers. The cartoon platypuses smile back up at him from the neon blue fabric.

“Meetin’ your soulmate on laundry day, huh?” Says the other guy in the room, who is apparently Tony’s soulmate, and he sounds way too amused, “I used to have those nightmares.”

Keep reading

i’d like to remember the names of cool people and amazing things but my memory is a bloody sieve and i have zero control over what gets to stay in there

Yes i did more

More text post memes

if you’re in my asks telling me that i’m defending sexual assault. if your only two settings are “none of my boundaries have ever been violated” and “sexual assault” then you are not a safe person. you are the person that post is about and for. you are the person i am begging to understand nuance. i’m thinking about like. i don’t like having my butt touched. sometimes in the heat of a moment an excited partner grabs my ass. that’s a violation of a boundary. but i’m not gonna fuckin break up with them for it. and this concept branches out. i tried bottoming a few times for partners. i thought id like it, i didn’t, and i felt kind of uncomfortable with the interaction later. those partners didn’t “assault” me, we tried something and it didn’t work. once or twice a partner has tapped out and i didn’t notice at first so they had to tap harder. this isn’t assault, they didn’t accuse me of abuse, we had a conversation and they understood it was a mistake. all of these are circumstances where a boundary has been broken or a line has been crossed, but not a situation of intentional harm, assault, or abuse.

You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

"Best I can do is worms"

- our warlock, about to cast Infestation

Making a DnD character with no weaknesses is not nearly as fun as creating a DnD character with one or two insane, game-breaking strengths who is failcringe at literally everything else.

y'all HAVE to watch this...interview??? with the inmates of the prison where luigi mangione is being held.

the reporter is standing outside the prison walls, while the inmates are inside watching newsmax, and collectively screaming out one-word answers to questions loud enough to be heard by the reporter.

I've never seen anything like it