Me: Yes Sir I Understand That The Office Door Cannot Be Closed When Two Colleagues Of Opposite Gender

Ace Attorney has a reputation for "No, your client can't be declared innocent unless you prove SOMEONE ELSE DID THE CRIME. That's the rules." And I don't think that's entirely fair.

But sometimes, man. Some fucking times that reputation is spot on.

Most of its cases are carefully sculpted to preserve some sense of ambiguity as to your client's provable involvement. You can craft a scenario in court that says your client was unconscious in a back room, but you're not given the ability to prove that. AA cases operate on the backfoot, with the prosecution laying out a clear and concise case for "They did it" and the attorney struggling to unwind it.

Finding the killer usually serves simultaneously as the clincher that absolves your client. Instead of "Your client didn't do it BUT WE'LL CONVICT THEM ANYWAY if you can't find someone else who did," it becomes a more clear-cut argument of "My client couldn't have done it because this guy did it instead."

...

And then there's shit like

So we're agreed! The evidence has shown that the defendant was on the other side of a gigantic, impassible ravine from where the murder took place. Therefore, it would be physically impossible for them to even have been present for the murder, let alone the perpetrator of the crime.

So. We're done here, right?

Mmm... no. I'm invested in the plot now. I want to see where this is going.

This fucking justice system, I swear.

today at my internship the literal words “i love efficiency” came out of my mouth in front of people i want to hire me in the future

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

inspired by the scariest words my dm has ever said to me and the subsequent coolest (AND SCARIEST) scene of my life

Dear everyone who is currently working on a Thing, whatever that Thing may be,

Good luck with the Thing. You can do the Thing. You will do the Thing. You just have to do the Thing.

Best wishes,

Someone who is also doing a Thing

Are you normal or did Matthew Mercer tell you to your face that Essek Thelyss grew his hair out because he felt like he could finally settle down for a normal life and also because his boyfriend looks hot with long hair so why not him too.

ICONIC