Silly Batfam Headcanon That David Cain (who Introduced His Daughter To A Lot Of His Contacts During Her

Dannys at Wayne enterprise because his parents want to submit their inventions and "scientific" discoverys for official review. He's bored out of his mind and meets this beautiful girl his age and strikes up a conversation with her. (Or he meets a girl and starts to rant like his father.)

Danny: im just saying Orphan has to be a vampire!

????(cass): No.

Danny: Are you kidding me? She moves with far to much elegance and grace to be mortal. Credit to the other bats but they move like mortals. She dances around both rogues and vigilantes!

????(cass): *blushing* No vampire.

Danny: ok maybe not a vampire but like a shadow demon or dhamphir or something! She's to much!

????(cass): orphan. Is. good. What about others?

Danny: oh! stabby robin and red hood are top tier obviously!

????(cass): oh?

Danny: well yeah! Stabby robin practices the art of the sword, a forgotten art in modern times. And red hood shoots pedophiles! Who doesn't like that?

????(cass): Batman.

Danny: well that says something about batman doesn't it. Have you seen the first Robin's outfit? Oof!

*in cass's ear*: Red Robin here. Good job on keeping danny distracted orphan. We're in the process of arresting Danny's parents. Can you keep it up?

????(cass): mhmm. Hey. Cute boy. Take me out to lunch?

Danny: Oh! Yeah! My parents will take hours explaining everything anyway, But uhm. What's your name?

????(cass): call me cass. This is a date, Yes?

Danny: *blushing* oh, uhm, yes. I'm Danny by the way.

Cass: Danny very cute.

Red robin: uhm? You don't have to do that orphan. Hello? ...Please don't make me explain this to B. Orphan?

Batman: Follow. Them.

Thinking about Cass Cain, the world's biggest proponent of "nobody dies tonight" still taking the time to desperately search for Steph even as she's working overtime to save the rest of Gotham. Wondering what she saw in Steph's body language in those last moments together, when she feared Steph was lying to her but couldn't chase after her. Wondering if she saw the fear, the hurt, the regret, the overwhelming despair and desperation, all in the anxious and exhausted tremble of her body. Wondering if the reason she couldn't tell for sure if Steph was lying was because there was just too much there, too many feelings, the weight of them too great, for Steph's body language to make any sense at all. Wondering if she knew, somehow, that if left on her own that the panicked-rabbit thrum under Steph's skin would lead her directly into something horrible. Thinking about Cass Cain, the girl who killed a man and saw him die in a way no one else could, in a way that changed her forever; who saw the shock and fear and pain and then the nothing, hearing that Stephanie was dead. Wondering if she imagined Steph's last moments as something other than what they were, because she wasn't there and she wouldn't ask and Bruce certainly wouldn't tell. Wondering if she thought about Faizul and imagined Steph terrified in the instant of realization, Steph knowing she was dying, Steph knowing that she would never run rooftops or play tag or feel her mother's arms again and that everything she could have been would remain unwritten forever; Steph alive and afraid and then nothing, nothing, nothing. Just thinking about Cass Cain and her way of perceiving things that no one else could understand, and a grief so deep that she didn't have the words for it and probably never will.

Jason: The eternal victim. The murderer.

Cass: The eternal murderer. The victim.

There's a serious comparison to be made between how Barbara fails as a teacher for Cass and how Cass fails as a teacher for Stephanie. Barbara's brain is biological supercomputer with an eidetic memory which can learn a new language in like five minutes. Cassandra is likewise superhumanly talented at fighting.

In both cases these aren't just learned skills to them. Cassandra's fists and Barbara's mind are core to their identities. They're the things that make them heroes, that give them agency, that make them matter, it's who they are. The reason they have no patience for teaching these skills to others is they're incapable of contextualizing a world without them.

Barbara can't teach Cass because the prospect of a life without language is simply inconceivable to her. Likewise, Cassandra can't teach Stephanie because she has no context at all for what learning to fight must be like for other people without her natural affinity. Their respective talents are so core to their being that people who can't do what comes easily to them must simply not be trying hard enough.

Ironically it's one of the very few ways in which they're actually extremely alike.

Alfred: Injury report?

26-year-old Bruce: All the blood is on the inside?

Alfred:

Some years down the road

Bruce: Injury report?

Tim: I left no DNA behind.

Cass: I can still beat the rest of you.

Jason: Haven’t died again.

Dick: No bones are visible from the outside.

Damian: I won.

Duke: I think I discovered a new power.

Steph: You’re not my dad.

Bruce:

Bruce:

Alfred: And how *is* Karma doing today, Master Bruce?

Okay imagine this; Cassandra with the same exact upbringing but the family somehow doesn’t know. She learned to talk and did the whole Shiva thing before meeting Bruce, and she knows Shiva is her mom.

Batman (talking to an assassin who he had to track down because for some reason every big name is staying away from Gotham, not that he’s complaining, but he’s worried); why is everyone staying away from Gotham?

Assassin (small enough to be scared but big enough to have helped train Cass); I am NOT getting near that psychopath! I don’t know how she got away, there, or even learned to talk! No way am I taking that risk, fuck off Bats, I’m more scared of her than I am of you!

Now the fam is even more confused. Everyone is trying to figure this out, Cass is laughing in the corner. (Maybe with Dami)

A few days later, Talia storms into the cave and bitch slapped Bruce, she turned and hugged Cassandra.

Bruce (holding his cheek because that woman has a mean slap); what was that for?!?

Talia; not telling me my daughter is okay! I should do more than slap you! My poor daughter, I’ve been so worried, so has Nyssa. I should have murdered him and taken you as my own the second we met. Of course, father would be furious, but you are much better than him. I assume your mother knows, considering my beloved is still breathing.

Cass; yes, mother knows, approves of Bat. Says it good branching out, got away, yay!

Talia; I did not expect that. Anyways, if you have trouble with your grandfather, just call. You left fair and square, I shall protect you, not that you need it. Be good, my child.

Cass preened under the praise and watched one of her adoptive League mothers leave. Talia and Nyssa were always nice to her, wanting to help but not being able to, she loved them. She refused to answer questions.

So, I was thinking about Cass and Shiva, and I remembered the time when Cass became a villain. If Shiva appeared during the stories of that time, how do you think she would react? I imagine she would be extremely pissed and murderous towards the ones that forced Cass to act against her will.

Yeah, you nailed it. I think Shiva should always respect Cass walking her own path, becoming her own woman and finding her own strength. But I also think that should come with a certain degree of weird, messy protectiveness.

Shiva seeing Cass letting herself stray from her path should piss her off, not least of which because she knows that it can only result in a weaker, brittle, lesser version of her daughter. She knows how strong Cass can be when she's at one with herself and how weak she is when she's not, and she should rightfully think that's a waste. It should greatly upset her to see Cass holding herself back.

And Shiva seeing Cass being forcibly led astray, brainwashed into being someone else's lackey, turned into something she's not by the machinations of weaker, jealous men...

There should be blood. Rivers of them.

In my mind Oliver Queen and Bruce Wayne are best friends. They are uncles to each other’s kids and know the other’s secret identities. When the kids are mad at them they go to their uncle.

Bruce trained for 7 years, in my canon/fiction I made up Oliver has always known how to use a bow but was on the island for 7 years too. So he got all his experiences from both the tv show and comics Green Arrow Year One.

I think Bruce comes back year 4 of Oliver on the island and thinks he’s dead like everyone else but can’t focus on it. Oliver comes back and they reunite. He doesn’t kill because he stopped year 6, he realized the hood doesn’t separate man from monster.

And I personally think Oliver would be Cassandra’s favorite because she respects him. She respects Bruce too, but Oliver didn’t have a choice to train or not, it was train or by killed. He also was trained to kill and forced to use those skills but stopped because he knew it was wrong even though people told him it was okay. He could’ve come back and hated the world but instead protected it, not only fighting crime but also with his position in the community.

He learned to become a part of society again, how to become human. He doesn’t see himself as a hero but instead a hunter. I think she relates to that because she sees herself as a weapon at first but learns to become a human like he did.

She sees the pain in him body, he also can read body language so they have silent conversations, her family can a little bit but not like she and Oliver can. Bruce chose to train so he didn’t need to watch his back as much, he chose to get hurt and put his body through that. Oliver didn’t, he was trying to survive and in doing so he got caught up with dangerous things, to survive he learned how to speak many languages, including the body. So as Bruce and the family can do it fairly well, Oliver is better and can hold conversations with her.

I need more fics of them like this.

Yeah

The goons rating the bats and birds in Gotham.

Batman: 4/10 beats us up and leaves. He talks to us like he’s better but we don’t go flying around beating people up in a furry suit.

Robin: 5/10 talks like the 1800’s and has a sword.

Red Robin: 6/10 we like that he’s smart. Plus he got sued by the restaurant and broke Two Face out to represent him so that was iconic.

Spoiler: 4/10 terrible jokes.

Red Hood: 6/10 he shoots us but treats his employees well.

Nightwing: 2/10 terrible jokes and sometimes gets really angry.

Signal: 6/10 the only day bat and he’s pretty nice but absolutely terrifying when he does that power thing and it looks like he’s a shadow.

Batwoman: 2/10 is mean.

Batgirl: 5/10 was smart but not a great fighter so it was fun. Don’t know where she went but she’s back so yay kinda.

Black Bat: 7/10 is terrifying and doesn’t talk but is kinda gentle and is an angel when she does talk. Also she holds back a lot, we can see with her other fights. And we don’t see her a ton.

Huntress: 2/10 shoots us with arrows and is rude.