Jason: The Eternal Victim. The Murderer.

The Batkids play a game called “Guess Who Bruce Is Disappointed In Today” and it is a bloodsport.

It started as a joke. It is no longer a joke.

Every morning, without fail, one of them walks into the kitchen and says:

“Guess who Bruce is disappointed in today?”

And they all take turns guessing based on crime alerts, nightly patrol rotations, and vibes.

It’s become a system.

It went like:

Jason: “I knocked out a senator by accident. My odds are high.”

Tim: “I drank seventeen Red Bulls and fell asleep on top of the Batcomputer.”

Damian: “I released three bats into Gotham General Hospital as enrichment. They were bored.”

Steph: “I called him ‘Brucie’ in front of a senator.”

Cass: Just raises a finger and shrugs.

Then Bruce walks in, dead silent, pours his coffee, looks at no one, and walks away.

Tim: “It’s Jason.”

Jason: “DAMN IT.

Rules:

If you guess wrong, you have to do patrol with Damian and listen to him rant about the superiority of traditional swordsmanship for two hours.

If you guess right, you get to choose the movie on family movie night.

If Bruce is disappointed in himself, everyone gets ice cream. That’s the law.

It got so serious they made a whiteboard. Labeled it: “DISAPPOINTMENT LEADERBOARD.”

Top scores:

Tim (17 correct guesses, possible mind reader)

Cass (14, reads vibes better than Google Translate reads Latin)

Steph (11, mostly via chaos intuition)

Jason (2. constantly thinks it’s him. It often is. But not always.)

Damian (0. refuses to acknowledge he is ever the cause)

One time Dick guessed correctly for the first time in 3 months and everyone clapped.

He cried.

Alt. Version: Guess Who Bruce Is Proud Of Today.

Game cancelled due to lack of data.

Tim: Duke, you're an optimist. Try to see the bright side.

Duke: The bright side is on fire, Tim.

Tim: And it's warm! See, that wasn't so hard. Now you try.

Duke: .....

Duke: I suppose it's kind of pretty.

Tim: That’s the spirit!

Bruce [voice far away]: Are you two insane! The building is on fire! Get out!

Idea I got from tiktok:

Dick: Why's Tim in the manor while it's getting fumigated?!

Bruce: Tim, get out of the manor right now!

Duke, banging on the manor window: You're breathing in poison!!! You're gonna die!!!

Tim: It's fine. I grew up in Gotham! I'm immune!

Jason: You're from Bristol. You got rich boy filtered air! You're not from Gotham!

Damian: Tt. Drake probably got poison training from those gifts grandfather's sent him.

Dick: From the what-

Cass: Focus.

Steph, snickering: I bet you held your breath the first time you snuck into Crime Alley to take photos.

Tim, actively dying from the gas: NO!

Alfred, across gotham: ... something just happened...

A (DC) rich people game show, but then they start going nuts.

You see, it's not unusual to have one of the infamous rich guys of the USA on TV, such as Oliver Queen and Bruce Wayne usually on talk shows to talk about their latest project, be it for good (donations) or bad (new LexCorp weapon, this one is for good I swear-).

But that's not the times people love seeing them, no, that's when they go on game shows. And finally, some producer gets the idea, "Why have only one, competing against other famous people like actors or singers, when they could compete against each other! What could possibly go wrong?".

A lot can go wrong. The show is a series of different games across the board, they all have to donate to charities to enter, but also know this is a great opportunity for getting good publicity. At first, it's just fun, games of them working together for a goal, with lots of "turns out the rich are eating each other!" jokes from Queen, comically bad attempts at leadership from Luthor, and Bruce Wayne being a passenger princess during the games "I bring the good luck".

That is until the following games are individual tasks, true competition...and then comes the cheating. Yes, Luthor started it but it also gets ridiculous.

They need to form a debate team, technically with their friends (free cameos for the show), Oliver and the rest of the participants understand that and bring in famous people, yes Oliver brings Black Canary that's his wife and best friend. And Luthor immediately calls on the best lawyers he has "You can't prove they aren't my friends also", which is a bit sad tbh.

Bruce knew he would do that. He is also a Gothamite with a sense of humour. Cable TV says hello to Harvey Dent, aka Twoface, because he is debating here now.

They enter a typical Steve Harvey style of questions, "Oh, you are bringing previous trivia night winners Luthor? that's smart...how did Wayne bring in the Riddler again? stop asking questions you say?"

They enter a mini survivors set, "Luthor brings in specialists from the military, can't say it doesn't make sense!... Mr Wayne, is that Poison Ivy? can he do that?"... and Oliver wins anyway (out of traumatic-experience experience), he brought Dinah again, he's a wife guy.

They enter a round of questions by journalists, points given by originality on evading questions, "So, we had to change our pick Clark Kent bc Luthor claimed it would be rigged, but thankfully Mr Wayne offered an alternative! welcome physicologist- Is that Harley Queen Mr Wyne- Bruce, can I call you Bruce? look me in the eyes and tell me how you are doing this Bruce"

"...Money?"

Harley rips them into psychological shreds, and a non-traumatized rich guy wins (DC equivalent of the Arizona Ice Tea CEO, they deserve it).

They enter rounds of questions about where they live, Luthor loses because he has no clue about the public transportation system in Metropolis, and Oliver acts dumb because he should not know half of the stuff he answers...Bruce gets stuck on the heroes of Gotham question, he is stressed, and he knows he'll be crucified if he forgest any of his vigilantes, and their associates, "Shut up Rick Redhood does count-".

Bruce Wayne forgets to count Batman, and he is saved by Oliver saying "They are bitter exes, let him not count the Bat!", he'll kill him later.

Luthor keeps cheating with professionals, Bruce keeps bringing in criminals, and Oliver wins because the final challenge is a popular vote, and the wife guy always wins.

Steph: batman doesn't like me and thinks i am not enough.

Cass: it's okay i like you you're enough.

Tai'darshan: my government deems my organization to be terrorists. I am painted as the villain in my fight for freedom.

Cass: you're a beautiful mirror tell me more.

Brenda: i see the non-conventional life you're leading because i've been there. We may not look or live perfect but there's always time for tea amidst of chaos.

Cass: thanks.

Clayface: nobody believes in my rehabilitation and i am bound by this monstrous shapeless flesh.

Cass: you look friend shaped to me.

Barda: you're a little weird i like you

Cass: you're a little weird i like you :]

I've had a DC x DP prompt/fic idea and I'd thought I'd share.

Danny, who has been dragged into taken over the role of High King, has been going through some of the paperwork that it entails. Of course, he's still baby ghost so CW and the others actually help with most the stuff, but he had some free time after being chased out of his house and injured (it'd been a few months since then).

Either way, he finds a particular line of complaints. He was never one to engage in it, but many of his subject, of which fall under the demon category, are complaining about a soul they can't collect. Danny personally finds it kind of funny. He sets those ones aside for now though, and continues doing whatever.

A few months later, he's summoned via some magic user, probably Klarion, and is now in front of the JL and a tiny wayward chaos maker. In a more eldritch form, he turns to Klarion, who very clearly did not mean to summon him specifically by the way he's panicking and called Teekel back, and just tells him he's grounded.

Thinking thatbwas that after Klarion left, he went back to his castle to do more work...and maybe play with Cujo. Really, Pariah Dark left so much paperwork, he doesn't wanna do all that!

The JL however is now steadfast on finding whatever the fuck that was. Klarion was scared of it, and it seemed more annoyed at being called than concerned about the heroes behind it. So that could be very very bad news.

Danny, after a while, realizes the JL is trying to find out more about him, which makes his life very difficult, fuck you very much, has a wonderfully stupid idea.

Going back to those papers about the soul that can't be collected, he summons a very tired and now spooked british man. One by the name of John Constantine. He wants a deal. More specifically, whatever deals he'd made, those were now the High Kings, and in return for whatever he got out of the deals, he wanted John to help him. All in all, he just got hired by the High King in return for ignoring the equivalent of taxes.

John was very confused, but hey, boy king of there is very chill out of formal settings. And also maybe he's worried about the fact that like a 16 year old is king-

Either way, there deal goes a little something along the lines of;

Danny: Keep the JL off my back, and all your debts are no longer valid and anyone that disagrees can come fight me.

John: ....okay??????

So while Danny got a "I don't wanna deal with this hero!" guy, John got a "I don't wanna deal with this demon!" guy.

Okay I’ve been thinking about the Parallax retcon again cause god do I hate it. I’ve done some meta on it but I’m gonna focus on what it did to Hal. Earlier to day I said there wasn’t much build up to Parallax but that’s not exactly true because I wasn’t considering the frame work of Hal’s headspace.

So back after Crisis, Hal Jordan wasn’t doing so hot. His best friend had died. Carol was possessed by the Star Sapphire and committing all sorts of crimes to fuck with Hal. John and Guy weren’t that close with Hal back in the 90s. John and Hal fought over a ton of shit Carol did while possessed.

Hal was pretty isolated at this point. He tries to go to people he thought were his friends and they all wave him off or openly tell him to get over himself. Some of them were down right malicious about it. Hal wasn’t in a good place.

Then Coast City is destroyed. And Hal wants to try to fix it. He tries with the rings and the Guardians tell him no. Hal is so completely isolated at this point no one even notices that he is running to take a swan dive off the cliff of sanity.

Hal goes to Oa. He steals the rings of the other Lanterns and leaves them in Space to die. He kills Sinestro. He kills Kilowog. Then Hal steps into the Power Battery. He kills every single one of the Guardians minus Ganthet here.

And his plan? Reset the universe. Hal wants to put everything back to his it was before Crisis. When Coast City wasn’t rubble. When Barry Allen was alive.

Now the heroes step in. They look at this man who they turned away, who they ignored in his grief, in the aftermath of the destruction of his city, and they call him a villain. Then they act surprised he doesn’t wanna hear what they have to say? That he maybe doesn’t care about their opinions on him because they certainly couldn’t be bothered with him before this.

In the end Ollie shoots him in the chest. And Ollie thinks he killed Hal but he didn’t. Hal and Kyle just ended up on Oa.

And the heroes wipe their hands clean. They were then absolved of any guilt around Hal because he was clearly a bad guy. They couldn’t have stopped him. But that’s not true. Anyone at all offering a hand out might have stopped him.

By the time Hal attacks Kyle in New York he’s desperate. He has no other plan than try Zero Hour again. He wants the Green Lantern ring. He wants to be a Green Lantern. That’s all Hal. Hal is there and he’s been practically screaming for help for years.

And Kyle oh hopelessly naive Kyle is the first one to tell Hal what he’s doing isn’t heroic. Everyone else declared Hal himself a villain.

Kyle was the one who saw the hero in Hal. Kyle went to the Source Wall to ask for Hal’s help in restarting the sun.

And only once Hal had died did the others look at him like a hero again. And with a bittersweet taste nonetheless.

Kyle set up Hal’s funeral. He made the memorial. He wanted everyone to know that Hal was a hero truly and fully.

But they turned their backs to Hal. They decided he wasn’t worth their time. What good are they to decide who’s a sinner and who’s a saint to paraphrase Hal himself.

And then the retcon. That it wasn’t Hal at all. It was Parallax.

That is their wipe away for everything that happened to Hal. It cloaks his depression, his anger, his loneliness in some supernatural fear bug and we can all just move on.

It means when Hal tells Barry about it that Barry waves it off as not Hal. As if nothing Hal was feeling then matters. As if Hal didn’t exist at all. Just Parallax.

This means the other heroes don’t have to feel bad at all, as if they would, for abandoning Hal because his emotions were being influenced. Nothing at all could have been done.

Except then they fucked up again when Kyle was possessed by Parallax. Hal held out a hand and he helped Kyle break free. Which means yes they could have helped Hal. But they chose not to.

The Parallax retcon is a massive cop out so the writers didn’t have to address a characters actual mental state. Because it’s easier to draw a smile I suppose.

But even with the retcon it shows how the others dropped the ball. Hal wasn’t suffering in silence and they “couldn’t have known” he was asking for help. He needed help. And they turned him away.

TL;DR: Hal Jordan needs some better friends

This was inspired by @pulsar-1919 thank you for that reply about The List. I forgot how much of a dick everyone was to Hal. I knew about Bruce in the robe being a jackass but that’s par for the course for Bruce tbh.

Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Bro really thought he ate with that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Yeah

Babs has to leave the clocktower for a Birds of Prey emergency and Cass is the only one around so she has to man the comms because Steph is on a mission. Cass is like yeah sure this will be fine Steph and I work great together nowadays.

But it turns out she's the absolute worst kind of backseat driver. She leads Steph on routes that involve 20 foot wide jumps and boos when Steph says she can't make that leap without a grapple. Steph is fighting five assassins at once and Cass is in her ear like

Cass: He has a bad leg go for the leg. Go for the leg. Why aren't you going for the leg just break out of the hold.

Cass: Wait are you stuck. Why are you stuck just dislocate your wrist and you'll be out of that hold. Batgirl can you hear me just snap your wrist. One two three snap.

Cass: Why are you not snapping. Hitting him isn't working. You're not strong enough to break his hold.

Cass: Maybe I should just come and get you. You're not listening to my words. I'll just rescue you.

Cass: Was that fuck off directed at me or the assassins.

Cass: Good you broke his hold. Now go for the leg. THE LEG. WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY YOU CAN TAKE THEM.

Steph once Barbara gets back: Don't ever leave me again. If I ever hear her on your line again I will rip out my earpiece.

Cass once Barbara quizzes her about the incident: I gave super clear instructions. Maybe she was just sick today idk