"Special Delivery!" Shouted A Boy, Who Should Not Be Here At All Speeding Towards Them On A Hoverboard.

I physically need Jason Todd to have several popular accounts as a reviewer of, honestly, anything.

New article in Gotham Gazette? A famous five-star reviewer already wrote a comment on what unethical methods the writer had used, along with debunking the rest of the article. And guess what? It has more likes than the original post.

New restaurant opened? Another famous critique just finished polishing a very detailed post regarding everything inside it — the decor, the cooking techniques, the service (he almost never picks up on waiters, though). It is so on the spot that, honestly, the owners can't even argue with the review.

New movie? Uh-uh, be sure you write your characters properly. New vigilante? Get detailed information on your methods of work and fighting style — and, hey, it might be even useful. New book? Be careful, someone is about to kick your ass on the Internet, unless written worthy.

The funniest part? No one assumes that it is the same person.

And the batfamily? Well, they have no time for this. Expect for... Tim.

Tim, sending a link to Vale's article: Hood. Drag her ass.

Jason: lol

Jason: give me, like, an hour–

Tim: Had I told you you are my favourite?

Jason: i might have an idea, yeah

Tim: Hood. The new restaurant is so ass. They are also homophobic and stared at me and Kon the whole evening like we killed someone. Do something.

Jason: sec

(The restaurant gets closed in, like, two days after that)

Tim: Jason. Bruce pisses me off this week.

Jason: LOL

Jason: wake up, birdie, the new article shitting on Batman's technics just dropped

Tim: YAY

a pet peeve of mine in fantasy is when they talk about the Magic(tm) like studying the magic, having the magic, or like, supernatural powers but where everyone has superpowers in that civilization. and. and.

elves wouldn't say "we have superior vision", they'd say "yeah humans are practically blind".

in my pocket i have a piece of metal with a little window that is powered by the energy of running water and that contains all the information in the world

and we call that a cell phone. i play project makeover on mine.

any animal would call that Magic(tm). be we don't. because it's not magic for us.

do you get me?

Cujo

"Cujo where in the world do you keep finding all these things?"

Danny looked down at a very proud looking Cujo who had recently returned from his trip.

On each trip he brought back things that he liked, lately Cujo was bringing back the most curious things.

From pillows and toys to weapons and weird clothing.

One time even bringing a golden lasso.

This time it seemed to be a sword and a jar filled with liquid with what he was pretty sure was a human organ.

"Cujo please don't take peoples organs, I don't want to get in trouble"

A sentence he never thought he would be saying,

What a day.

~

Alfred: "I seem to be missing my favourite pair of socks?"

~

Wonder Woman is questioning who was brave/stupid enough to steal her lasso from practically under her nose.

~

Damian: Father! Who took my weapons away, I haven't even been grounded!"

~

Lex Luthor: "Where's all the kryptonite I just bought?!"

~

Ra's: *squinting* "Something just happened."

~

Sorry this one is shorter than usual I'm in the middle of class.

Bye!

~

Just an Idea

Bitter and lonely straight men who feel unloved by women do not seem to understand that women do not love men the way they think women should love men. Women who love men romantically don't love them with admiration, as a wise authority figure or someone they can rely on like children rely on their parents and belivers trust in their god. They love men the same way that they love cats.

Their weird hairy little house gremlin whose thoughts and feelings are occasionally utterly incomprehensible and expressed in strange ways, but who still clearly tries, and still clearly loves. Women love them despite of the home renovations they unpromptedly do.

@jedipirateking

Nope, havent found it(sadly).

Heroes at the watchtower: Why are they staring at each other? I hope they get along..

14-year-old Danny in his adult ghost king form:

14-year-old Billy in his adult Shazam form:

They know instantly.

I want Danny, in king Phantom form, to meet Billy, in his hero form, and for them both to immediately know that they other isn't the age they present themselves as.

They then proceed to troll the whole League into believing that they've been friends for eons.

Being a student is a full time job that they don't pay you for so you can have another full time job they pay you minimum wage for.

the demons kept telling me to make this

the forbidden He would not fucking say that but wouldnt it be funny edition. i do what i want ☝🤓

Training the Bat Way (aka Bruce’s Terrible Parenting 101)

Bruce Wayne, aka the Dark Knight, aka the absolute worst, has this little training exercise that the entire family unanimously despises. He calls it “building resilience” or “preparing for the unexpected.” The rest of the family calls it Bruce’s stupid sleep-deprivation kidnapping game.

Here’s how it works: Bruce waits until you’re at your absolute lowest—after a grueling week of non-stop patrols, minimal sleep, and a near-catastrophic Gotham meltdown. Once you’ve finally collapsed into a dead sleep (and sometimes, after he’s sneakily slipped you a sedative to make sure you stay asleep), he picks you up, sticks you on a plane, and drops you off in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes it’s a remote village in the mountains; sometimes it’s the bustling heart of a city on the other side of the planet. The challenge? Find your way home.

Occasionally, Bruce will leave you with some supplies: a wallet, maybe a burner phone, a little equipment if he’s feeling generous. But more often than not, you’ll wake up with absolutely nothing. No money, no ID, no tools—just the clothes on your back and a pounding headache from whatever the hell Bruce drugged you with.

Some highlights of Bruce’s 'training' include:

• Dick waking up in the middle of Germany with nothing but his expired driver’s license and missing socks (He'd hidden cash in them, so he can only guess Bruce found it).

• Steph regaining consciousness in Iceland with a crumpled €5 euro and zero idea how to exchange it for local currency.

• Damian waking up in the middle of the Sahara Desert. No gear. No money. Nothing but sand and the distant memory of Bruce’s smug face.

• Tim once took over a month to get home from a tiny town in Thailand. By the time he made it back to Gotham, he’d created an entire fake identity, complete with forged documents, an elaborate backstory, and several new international contacts. Bruce called it “impressive.” Tim called it traumatizing.

• Cass, of course, took this completely in stride. Woke up in India, dismantled a shady criminal organization she stumbled across, and then casually returned to Gotham two days later like nothing had happened. When asked how she managed it, she just shrugged.

• Duke waking up in the Grand Canyon with his phone at 1% and a granola bar in his pocket. He got home in less than a day, having hitched a ride, bartered his way onto a train, and charmed a group of tourists into helping him. He also got himself a pet chameleon on the way, somehow.

• Jason refuses to talk about his turn, but based on the suspicious amount of diplomatic immunity he now has in several Eastern European countries, it’s safe to say he didn’t play by Bruce’s rules.

If they’re lucky, Bruce leaves them somewhere within the U.S., in which case the Wayne name might help speed up the process. But outside of the States? Forget it. Flashing a “Wayne” credit card can cause more problems than it solves (That's if they're even lucky enough to have a credit card to flash in the first place).

To the rest of the family, this whole thing is less of a “training exercise” and more of a weird, sadistic game Bruce plays when he thinks they’re getting too soft. And no matter how many times they complain, Bruce insists it’s “for their own good.” Because of course he does.

The thing is, they all do get home. Eventually. And yeah, maybe they come back stronger or sharper or whatever excuse Bruce uses to justify it. But at what cost? (Mostly their sanity and a burning hatred of international airline fees.)

Still, the Bats have learned to adapt. They’ve formed their own set of unspoken rules:

1. Always keep some emergency cash hidden somewhere on your person (And hope Bruce doesn't find it, because he will take it).

2. Never, ever fully trust that glass of water Bruce hands you after patrol.

3. And if you wake up in the middle of nowhere, the first step is simple: curse Bruce Wayne’s name as loudly and creatively as possible. Then get to work.

Because at the end of the day, they will get home. And they’ll probably sucker-punch Bruce the second they do.

I love genuinely innocent “boys will be boys.” Just saw a guy come out of a frat house to poke a pair of jeans they’d left outside - they were frozen solid, and as soon as he confirmed that, like twenty more boys came rushing out of the house going “YOOOOOOOOOO”