DPxDC More Shit Fae!Danny Has Said While Living With Waynes

Being a student is a full time job that they don't pay you for so you can have another full time job they pay you minimum wage for.

comfortable, decent quality bedding will change your life I'm so serious

Bitter and lonely straight men who feel unloved by women do not seem to understand that women do not love men the way they think women should love men. Women who love men romantically don't love them with admiration, as a wise authority figure or someone they can rely on like children rely on their parents and belivers trust in their god. They love men the same way that they love cats.

Their weird hairy little house gremlin whose thoughts and feelings are occasionally utterly incomprehensible and expressed in strange ways, but who still clearly tries, and still clearly loves. Women love them despite of the home renovations they unpromptedly do.

beginning sweetness never stays

Things I think must have happened in Gotham.

Batman (too tired to remind himself the secret identity stuff): Dick

Villain: Hey–o

Villain too: Hey-o indeed man what the fuck–

Villain: He's just a child.

Villain: How can you call a child a Dick

Villain: This is just horrible taste–

Robin:

--

Jason high in pain killers seeing Damian and Tim dressed as Robin side by side: I think I had nightmares about this

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Batman 72h without sleep

Robin moving too fast

Batman who thought it was the memorial because he's without glasses:

Robin:

Batman

Robin: Why is your hand on the emergency button?

Batman, who almost had a heart attack: No reason, why are you awake?

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Jason, Robin year one seeing Nightwing and Barbara flirt knowing damn well Dick has a girlfriend at the titans: He has a problem.

Bruce, knowing who that problem comes from: He's young.

Jason:

Jason: Apple's and trees...

Bruce: Out.

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Harley: You're all whore's and a virgin–

Jason: (Visibly offended).

Dear people who wear braids,

How tf do you stop the top of your head from getting fuzzy?? Like, I'm wearing braids rn and my hair is just sticking out from everywhere

This is what I'm dealing with and idk how to prevent it. Are my braids not tight enough? Is the problem with my hair?? Someone pls help because this happens every single time I DJ braids and keep them on for longer than a day

Wait what's a buildings fire evacuation plan if you aren't supposed to use the elevator to get down

The people of Fawcett know that behind the mask of Captain Marvel is a homeless kid with trust issues. Billy knows that they know. And now he and the town have this whole "I don't know Captain Marvel is a homeless kid" thing going on whenever any hero comes to Fawcett for any reason.

Flash: Dude, your town is so cool!

Marvel: Thanks. The townspeople and I are trying to make the town look more presentable.

Mrs. Wortwood: Captain, we're having a family dinner tonight. My daughter really wants to see you.

Marvel: Thanks for the offers. I'll definitely be there.

Flash: I wish I could be invited to family dinners by my townspeople, too.

Mr. Chuck: Captain, it's nice to see you at this hour.

Marvel: Evil never sleeps, at least not in Gotham.

Mr. Chuck: I see, visitors in town. I'll say hello when I see them.

Marvel: Thank you, Mr. Chuck, it was nice talking to you.

Batman: Marvel, what's a regular old man doing on the roof of a building at one in the morning?

Marvel: I don't know. He's a regular chimney sweep.

Hal: Why is that woman looking at me so weird?

Marvel: I don't know?

Miss Bambi, who saw Green Lantern playfully slap Captain on the butt: *quietly drinks tea*

Kids on the playground: Captain! We're missing a player!

Marvel: Sorry, on a mission.

Kids: Okay! Good luck!

Superman: Everyone's so sweet with you.

So yeah, they're pretty good actors. The only thing Billy doesn't know is that the townspeople have a plan for revenge if the League finds out Captain Marvel is a kid and kicks him out. They even have a kryptonite pitchfork! And plenty of fire starters. It's also worth mentioning that the magical creatures have joined in on the plan. The fairies are giggling and collecting or stealing kryptonite, giving Batman a run for his money, which makes him paranoid that someone is buying or stealing kryptonite in huge quantities. There's clearly some kind of conspiracy brewing.

The League has no idea what kind of bomb they'll detonate if they kick Captain Marvel out of the League.

I, honestly, need Jason picking up Bruce's arguments during fights and using them back on him. In the most unexpected moments. Just imagine Bruce getting mad during another of their patrols, and in the middle of the screaming session, Jason just switches and doubles him with his own phrases.

Jason: Okay, that's enough. You are benched from being my side-kick.

Bruce, flabbergasted: Excuse me?

Jason: You heard me. This is unspeakable violence you are displaying here, by the way.

Bruce: ???

Bruce: You are not going to berate me for smashing CRANE to the wall a few times.

Jason: Oh, why not?

Bruce: That was— That is justified.

Jason: Well, who do you think you are to decide what is justified and what is not? Huh, lad?

Bruce:

Bruce: Hood, that's—

Jason: Am I right, boys?

Tim, chewing on the popcorn: Yep, yep. Also hit him with a "What example are you showing to your little brother?" line for me.

Jason: Noted.

Bruce: ???????

Bruce: This is ridiculous. I can't stress enough how—

Jason: I am not your father to deal with this, B.

Bruce: I—

Bruce: Wait, when did I say something like that to you?

Jason: Before I ran away and died? Lol

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Oh. Shit.

Silly little Dead Silent idea where Cass, as Black Bat is just finishing up patrol with the others when she suddenly finds herself overcome by strange yet for some reason familiar instincts.

Those instincts have her taking off to follow an invisible trail only she can sense, eventually leading her to what appears to be a glowing meta boy.

Black Bat doesn't even think, just immediately goes into attack mode and proceeds to beat the "meta" boy into submission, the guy retaliating just as fiercely.

The only reason the rest of the Bat clan aren't stepping in is because Red Hood, having a weird feeling he knows what's happening says not to interfere.

It all becomes clear once Black Bat successfully gets the glowing guy down, then proceeds to pick the now docile "meta" up and carry him in her arms in a rather possessive manner.

The only explanation the Bat clan gets from her is "Mine now."