I Made This Blog To Horneepost But I Chickened Out So Ig It's For Memes Now Lol

Shazam! (2019) Issue #15

kim dokja core

you know a fic is good when it has this

Shazam can be terrifying when he wants to right? I mean the guy is the CHAMPION OF MAGIC and has the power of the gods, of certain gods. More importantly, he has zues.

Why hasn't anyone had him make thunderstorms when angry and make thunder so loud you'll go deaf. Why isn't he making storms or playing with the atmospheric pressure when mad.

I am imagining thunder bringer with the cause being a cult messed with danny and hurt him while trying to make him obey them. I want terrifying shazam. I want Shazam and phantom supremacy. I want Shazam being an absolute menace and reminding wveryobe why he's the champion. I want the gods occasionally messing with them. I want aphrodite giving phantom tips on how to woo him. I want her making their love story.

I mostly want a pissed off overprotective Shazam and hurt Danny fic . I want Shazam to unintentionally get on batmans contingency plan list and take the number one spot.

The batkids would absolutely work together if they had news they needed to tell Bruce but didn’t know how. One of the batkids would put in the group chat that they needed help breacking news to Bruce and everyone would pull out their own story’s so Bruce can’t stress out about whatever it is that needed to be told to him. So like this:

Jason: ugh how do I tell Bruce I’m dating roy and he now has a grandchild.

Steph: Infodump?

Jason agreeing: infodump

Then all the batkids would give Bruce the most random piece of information he has no way of processing till later so he can’t focus on the fact he now has a gay son and a grandchild (gotta love Lian). Everyone would pull out the most random facts like;

Dick: remember when I was 12 and didn’t talk to you for a month and only slept in Alfred’s room? Yea well that’s because my pet hamster you didn’t know about died.

Damian: I first ever killed Someone when I was 2 years old and thew up peanuts on someone who had Anaphylaxis.

Duke: I used to have a red string board about Batman’s identity and I would have been right if it wasn’t for the fact the robins kept changing.

Cass: when I was homeless I broke into ever house in Gotham including Wayne manor.

Tim: *mentions literally anything that happened in yj98*

Babs: my fathers known you were Batman since before I was batgirl.

Steph: my first costume came from the scraps of fabric that my father used to try and make me his sidekick.

Bruce never knows how to prosess any of the information and thus never reacts negatively because there is always at least one piece of information he didn’t know that throws him off.

a pet peeve of mine in fantasy is when they talk about the Magic(tm) like studying the magic, having the magic, or like, supernatural powers but where everyone has superpowers in that civilization. and. and.

elves wouldn't say "we have superior vision", they'd say "yeah humans are practically blind".

in my pocket i have a piece of metal with a little window that is powered by the energy of running water and that contains all the information in the world

and we call that a cell phone. i play project makeover on mine.

any animal would call that Magic(tm). be we don't. because it's not magic for us.

do you get me?

I know you took my ribs, gimme them back you thief I had them first

I think it would be fun if Dani & Kon met sometime during Kon’s stay in Hawaii & have a gc called “weirdest test tube babies I’ve ever seen”

But also Bart, Kon & Dani being apart of the “we’re actually only like 2 years old so excuse our social ineptitude” club.

That’s all.

Sorry bro I just gave them away to an anon that wanted to cronch on some bones :(

This is beautiful. Bart, Dani, and Kon would be the most chaotic group to ever exist. They’d fully “Yes, And-“ each other’s dumb ideas and with two virtually indestructible people in the crew? Oh man it gets stupidly dangerous real fast and somehow they manage to come out of each shenanigan unscathed

doomed yaoi this doomed yuri that what about the ones left behind. what about the two vertices of a triangle whose apex was ripped off. what about the bitter, resentful, codependent bitches with a shared crater in their soul the size of a missing third, clinging to eachother in the aftermath of their loss desperately trying (or refusing) to move on. people who press together like the lips of a wound stitched shut

Constantine: I hate to say it. But we might need help from... The Ghost King.

The last phrase is whispered with a depth of terror the heroes assembled had never heard before from the man who fucked demons.

Batman: the ghost king?

Constantine, gravely: yes. I don't know much about the new one- just that ue managed to defeat the fearsome Pariah Dark- the king feared by all the biggest bads in all the Realms of heaven, hell, and everything in between, before and beyond. In single combat.

Wonder woman frowned, : so.... can you summon him?

Constantine shifts uneasily: summoning the ghost king- particularly one as fearsome as Phantom- is quite the risk, it could get us all killed in a moment- or worse. He is the ghost king, after all.

Impulse frowns. The name 'Phantom'and 'Ghost King' was familiar... but why... he turned to the side, to spot Rook (Tim) napping quietly in his seat, a can of zesti by his info pack- and that was when it clicked.

He nudged Tim. "Hey. Hey Tim?" He whispered.

"Mm?"

"Isn't that the guy you were fucking?"

Rook raised his head to stare blankly into Impulse's eyes. "What?"

"You know, the person you and uhhh- code name... fuck it. You and Bernard fucked?"

At this point, Clark raised an eyebrow at the whispered conversation, whilst Kon was hiding his grin.

Rook continued to stare blankly. "You're going to need to be more specific. "

Impulse sighs, irritated, "Phantom. The fearsome and deadly, possibly evil ghost king?" He gestures to where Constantine was drawing up a variety of different reasons why he shouldn't be forced to make a summoning circle to call Phantom.

Tim frowned at the board. "Oh. Hmm. Well he wasn't the evil ghost king when i was dating him that was his evil alternate future self."

This statement caused more than a few heroes to turn his way, eyebrows raised.

Nightwing: ....anything you wanna say there, Rook?

Rook glared at Impulse before rolling his eyes before the domino, "nah just talking about how I ficked the guy Constantine is stressing over."

The statement silenced the entire table. Constantine glanced between Rook, the board, and back again.

Constantine: you....fucked... the ghost king???

Tim: well I mean it was out of office hours so was it really fucking a king, or-

Constantine: EVEN I WOULDNT DO THAT

Tim: well I certainly hope you wouldn't. He's a bit young for you.

Various different heroes snort or stiffle laughter at the statement.

Nightwing, frowning: R, I thought you were dating B?

Tim turns horrified eyes to Nightwing, "YOU THOUGHT I WAS DATING OUR FATHER????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU-"

Nightwing: oh, no, I meant your boyfriend!

Tim: BATMAN IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING ACTUAL FUCKING HELL-

Nightwing: no no no B as in the conspiracy theorist boyfriend.

Tim: oh. Yeah I am.

Nightwing: but you fucked-

Tim: dated, actually. Dating, technically.

Nightwing: you know I never thought I'd have to have this conversation with you, Rook , but cheating is bad.

Nightwing turns to Batman helplessly, "help me out here B...atman."

Bruce raises an eyebrow in response. "Rook your brother is right."

Tim raises an eyebrow. "I'm not cheating. Anyway, why do we want to call Danny?"

Constantine gestures vaguely at the monitors and they flare to life with a live video feed of Undergrowth ripping a city to the ground.

Tim: huh. Just a sec.

He turns to his phone and taps for a moment

Tim: he'll be here in a moment,

Danny, in full king regalia, behind Constantine: hey R. What's up? OH are you the guy whose soul is owned by like a gazillion other people?

Constantine gulps.

Danny grins: can I have your soul?? Only I kinda want to fight in the bidding fight-

Constantine: the what fight?

Danny: you know, for your soul? May the best and most dangerous individual win?

Constantine has suddenly gone very, very pale.

the "Chara is Evil" theory is actually hilarious in hindsight.

Undertale, a game known for its depth, characters, and worldbuilding, a game in which no character in two dimensional and are proven to not be time and time again, has a flat villain whose only motivation is bite bite murder kill kill bite?

are you SURE?

Like, Asgore's first mention is from Toriel, who paints him as this literal monster who is only out for blood. It instills this dread in you throughout the game. But, everyone outside the Ruins talks highly of Asgore, as if he were the best, most wonderful person they've ever met! So now you're just confused? Is he good or evil? So when you find him and realize he's a good person who has done evil things, you realize that Toriel knows something the others don't. That being the divorce fghdsak

Papyrus is just the Skelator, funny doofus archetype who is supposed to be over the top dramatic and still fail at every turn no matter how much he learns. You get that impression immediately. While most of that is true, he is far from a doofus. He is probably the smartest person in the Underground (much to the fandom's chagrin). He is just Full Of Love and wants to do right by everyone, which leads him to make really interesting choices.

Sans is just the lazy, laid back supportive but deceptive older brother until you realize he knows about the different timelines, and suddenly he becomes a whole other level of complex.

Undyne is just a murder hobo until you learn that she just loves her friends and loves her neighbors and loves her people with her whole heart and will do anything to keep them safe.

Alphys is just the geek nerd until you learn about her guilt, trauma, and depression.

Toriel is just the tutorial character until you learn her backstory.

Napstablook is socially awkward until you realize their deep loneliness.

Monster Kid is a fanboy (gender neutral) with a deep underlayer of imposter syndrome and inadequacy.

Shyren is just shy

Burger Pants is stuggling hard.

All of the monsters rely on that feeling of hope, and their King's war is based on restoring it.

And last but not least, Flowey was the villain whose only motivation is bite bite murder kill kill bite. HE was the one with 2D motivations, anime speeches about you being weak, talking about being a god, stuff of the like. He is largely written off.

Until you learn his true identity. Learning that Flowey is ASRIEL suddenly gives all of his actions new light. Learning about his lack of a soul, how he tried to do good, but got bored, and he couldn't feel love. He is a reflection of you, the Player, who must be committing Genocide in order to even hear him talk about this. Flowey suddenly becomes one of the most important, deep, and thought-out characters in the game.

and we thought Chara was a 2D villain.