Latest Posts by binxelf - Page 4

I've been desperately trying to remember the way I lived or made it through a certain day, and I'm caught between trying to record every second of it or loading my gallery with pictures and holding it close to myself by trusting my peripheral vision, I can’t tell whether im trying to exploit my present, or trying to preserve the ashes of a fire that once soared high, I can’t tell if it robbed me off my sight to capture the moment or left me agape enough to not be able to process anything 

its similar to that particular situation in class, where the teacher’s writing an ideology on the board but you're so engrossed all the while taken aback that its too late to take notes, and you don't trust your memory enough to attempt to rewrite it from scratch, so you turn to your left to ask your deskmate to read it out loud for you but you bite your tongue before you speak because you know they hold a different vision, and your heart races at the prospect of never seeing that glint of passion yonder again.

“to everyone their own perception, to everyone their own vision” to some a curse, to some a gem.

I wish I could remember the past.

It seems silly to me, to not have recorded every moment of that life, that past life before chaos exploded.

How unconscious I was to think it would last forever. I used to live in that past life, wild and happy and confident.

Now, I look around, trying to find my footsteps, trying to figure out who I was, who I used to be, what I used to believe in.

It's in vain.

I can't remember.

And I don't know whether that is a curse or a blessing.

- F. A.

Its a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over.

Beau Taplin (via to-be-okay)

just found out that “wish you were here” in persian is ‘jāy-e shomā khālīst’ which means “your place is empty” and it felt like being stabbed in the heart 37 times

god calls me on the payphone, tells me there aren't enough magnolia trees in the garden. asks me a question. i spend my whole life answering it.

The animalistic urge to cut certain people off all socials and emotional connections as a new year’s resolution, y’all have had enough of this wine, party’s over.

I’m the type of person to put on a rlly sweet scent/lotion, hop upto you, have you smell my hands only to see you smile and hop away to cloud nine, this. This is my turn to be happy.

This is the most vulnerable I’ve been the entire year, I’m seriously not over 2021 reaching its peak this quick, hold onto me a little tighter, a little longer

❤ !!

Frank O'Hara, from Selected Poems; "Mayakovksy"

[Text ID: I love you. I love you, / but I'm turning to my verses / and my heart is closing / like a fist.]

To those sharing every little aspect of their days?? Y’all are painstakingly adorable, it crushes me, it BREAKS me to see that smile on your face, or how your eyes light up every time you bring that one rock you saw on your way home and nurture and care for it as if you plunked it on the table from your own womb or how that one lady flashed you a smile and those beautiful wrinkles caressing her plum cheeks could tell tales that go on for days, I’m. Here. To. Hear. You. Out. Please spoil me with the abundance of your cute brain let me hear that voice again I BEG OF YOU.

Even if what once was, is erased, I’ll plant a kiss on those rosy cheeks again.

“Crawling down,From high hopes to the ground,Trouble sings along,In my heart and soul,A giant in the room,I left him long ago, following you.Wind heavy on the ground,A cloak before the moon,I guess I've never known,Someone like you.”

Agnes Obel - run cried the crawling

One stranger shoots me a smile as I walk past and suddenly life is worth living and humanity is not for naught

Look at that cute bald spot! *gently plants a sapling, tender pats every now and then* there there, all glammed up and posh you may proceed with your day <3 𓏲˖ 𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃

Sometimes I seriously wake up, I wake up and I smile, I chuckle to no one in particular

I made it to another day, holy shit I did, I did it all by myself, I’m here with myself, I’m here for myself, I STILL HAVE ME, I have me and I need to take advantage of that, I need to selfishly adore myself, I need to put on that dress I’ve been eyeing for weeks because I CAN! It’s ridiculous of me to think there’s a rule book for it, This is boundless, it’s my body, the dress will fit ME Not the other way around, I’ll name that flower I sit across in my balcony every time I’m brewing coffee because it’s adorable, I want to take care of it, I’m holding responsibility as I bloom more and more every day, I want to reassure it that I’ll be here to water it again tomorrow, I’m here and that’s never going to change

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

The world seems to be ignoring this, so allow me to remind you all:

PEOPLE WITH BPD ARE NOT INHERENTLY ABUSIVE

“Is there no way out of the mind?”

~Sylvia Plath

wish my hair grew little flowers on its own how neat would that be

Timid petals,

Fell on my lips

Rusted metal,

Bound on my ribs

Knew you wouldn’t settle

For anything but bliss

Here’s to my purity and insanity

I was a prisoner of fall,

A prisoner of fall

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

People I believe to be chaotic academia

Van Gogh

Listen to the man speak:

• I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process

• I would rather die of passion than of boredom

• I feel there's nothing more truly artistic than to love people

(He is my spirit animal and I don't accept any comments about it, it's not arguable)

HE PROBABLY LOST PART OF HIS EAR IN A SWORD FIGHT WITH GAUGING???

He painted this:

He looked like this:

JRR Tolkien

• Man came up with The Lord of The Rings during WAR

• And it's ALL a catholic analogy??? He was like "let's invent an entire universe just to yk write my thoughts about my faith (he was a hardcore catholic) and all the traumas of war" instead of just going to therapy?? If this is not chaotic academia I'm done.

• He got beef with Disney bc he already knew they were shady and wouldn't let them make a movie out of TLOTR, he said that he sincerely hated Disney movies

... I recognize his talent, but he has always seemed hopelessly corrupted. Although in most of the 'images' that come from his studies there are admirable or charming passages, the effect of all of them is unpleasant to me. Some have made me nauseous ...

Disney's name is not mentioned in that letter, but it refers to a trickster man who is willing to let the less experienced down, believed to have been in reference to Mary Poppins and the controversy over the PL Travers book adaptation. — Javier Flores for IGN

• Literally invented a language. Literally. Like. For real.

Saint Lawrence

• Guy was grilled alive and said "I'm well done on this side. Turn me over!" and now he's the patron saint of barbecues, cooks, chefs and comedians.

Do you really need any other reason

It is said that Lawrence gave the church’s treasures to the poor and the sick before his arrest

"One of the seven deacons of the city of Rome under Pope Sixtus II who were martyred in the persecution of the Christians that the Roman Emperor Valerian ordered in 258"

And I believe that anyone who has faith is a rebel, so great for him, mostly when being persecuted and discriminated — So Chaotic Academia

I won't stop romanticizing religion freedom? Religion is chaotic academia and you won't ever change my mind

Apparently very smart and sassy but also very kind so

Sherlock Holmes

• ??? Tell me I'm wrong. I dare you.

• Messy af

• and a genius

• I was broken when I was told he didn't exist

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?

My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people do not know >>>>

Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last.

Da Vinci

• the definition of why do one thing

• again, messy af:

• crazy man vibes

• painter, anatomist, architect, paleontologist, artist, botanist, scientist, writer, sculptor, philosopher, engineer, inventor, musician, poet and urban planner

"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."

"I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do."

"Just as food eaten without appetite is a tedious nourishment, so does study without zeal damage the memory by not assimilating what it absorbs."

"Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master."

The other day I was staring at the moon and it really got me thinking , do I have a charming personality -?? For her to get flustered and hide behind those clouds , the pink hue around her gave me an answer , October clearly had its fair share of goofiness with me

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

[transcript: 1. “any fear, any memory will do; and if you’ve got a heart at all, someday it will kill you.”

2. “survive what? you said. in the weak light you looked over your shoulder. you said, nothing ever survives.”

3. “because you want to die for love, you always have.”

4. “jesus: you think suffering is a one-way street?! it’s not! it’s the exact opposite of not!

judas: you got a lot of fuckin’ nerve—

jesus: —and you’ve got no nerve at all! where’s your heart in all this, judas? you think you were with me for any other reason than that?! it was your heart, judas. you were all heart. you were my heart! don’t you know that?!”

5. “he thought about wanting to feel like he had been made for something other than dying.”/end transcript]

rita dove, primer for a nuclear age/margaret atwood, roominghouse, winter/richard siken, planet of love/stephen adly guirgis, the last days of judas iscariot/maggie stiefvater- mister impossible

There’s just something about watching people doing lovey dovey things for others , be it a gesture as simple as holding the door for them, giving an extra tip, saying “it’s on me” with those sweetheart smiles , greeting your neighbours on your way to work and arguably forcing your best friend to let loose as I put my playlist on and let them be, I’d much rather be a part of the crowd witnessing something beautiful than the act itself , sort of like fireworks , I want it to stir something in me , sweep me off my feet than the other way around. Maybe its in fear of doing the act, or feeling like I won’t do them justice,nevertheless it’s a warm and bubbly feeling. For now I’m content, for now.

~ ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

I’m the kind of person who’d enjoy watching someone, telling me the way around , how they’re familiarised with their surrounding , how they know the ropes , how they know the people , how they remember the time at which the mailman delivers daily letters for those at work , how they know about the girl who gets the sweetest coffee in office , how they know about mrs.Clark’s newly purchased Mary Janes, since she wanted to keep up with the trends but ended up falling in love with the pair , how they know who sits where, how they know when to approach someone or not. The overdose of empathy and familiarity in the workplace makes me feel so domestic , it’s such a content feeling seeing someone settle down and get to know others , gets me thinking who would’ve initiated conversation, the first date, the first meeting, the first party, the first get together , the first call. Their first everything, and the growth and relationships they’ve nurtured, has me fascinated.

~ Ghosts of tulips past :: 💌

Nizar Tawfiq Qabbani

HEY HI HELLO EVERYONE this is your lovely author , LETS GET A FEW THINGS STRAIGHT BEFORE WE START OFF wink

AUTHOR'S ONE-SHOT DRILLS :

• inconsistent writing style (pls I'm a rookie author who's just tryna stabilise themselves with how I'm gonna be writing this SOBS)

• requests are CLOSED for the time being , idk how this is gonna take off or how soon but I won't be accepting requests till a point , HOWEVER I'm open to the idea so just hang in a bit longer ;)

• IDK IF THIS IS WORTH MENTIONING OR NOT But the characters are NOT OWNED by me UNLESS STATED

• inconsistent updates cause well we've all got our lives to live and mine doesn't revolve around this,,,,yet, BUT ANYWAYS pls be PATIENT as I'm still a student and school induced stress likes to give me a good one in the gut , therefore I won't promise when a chapter will come out BUT I'll keep it as uniform as possible :)

• there will be TWS and REMINDERS before and after each chapter so y'all know what's coming your way , the last thing I wanna do is set y'all off

• IM OPEN TO YALL SHARING YOUR OPINIONS , I'd love to hear out your thoughts on this so go full out , improvements , criticism , keep it coming

• AND PLS IF YOU DONT LIKE MY OC OR CONTENT SHUT MY BOOK OFF AND GET ON WITH YOUR DAY , there's no need to go around spewing hate in my dms , there's a fine line between opinions and disrespectful bs , don't cross it.

• same goes to fighting on here??- pls jusr- don't ?? Idk it's not kewl and you shouldn't have to lose your cool over something if it pissed you off so much , take it to your pms , I will NOT tolerate public arguments :) cussing and joking's all good , just keep it in your pants ykwim?

• AND AS FOR THE REQUESTS-?? Quick pinch in , I'm willing to accept them if they regard who the next 'xreader' will be with orr if you want a headcanon/drabble/oneshot next yk yk

~WITHOUT FURTHER ADO ILL SEE YOU GUYS IN THE NEXT UPDATE~

Susan Sontag - “Death Kit”