Marie Howe, From Magdalene: Poems; "What I Did Wrong"

oh, I think you fucked me up, i think you figured out how to crack me down, how to cut me down i see you smiling now, oh, the power you hold beautiful control, beautiful control

the world was not meant for beauty like this - a captive prince playlist -

listen to it here ♥ 

So Hob is immortal because Death promised her little brother not to take him. But that doesn't explain why he doesn't age. In order for that to happen, not only Death would have to leave him alone but also Time.

Time, who happens to be Dream's and Death's father.

You know what that means?

Finding Dream a boyfriend is a family project.

i’m obsessed with this

and then, two months later....

🥺

the feminine urge to mourn lost cultures and empires. for your heart to ache every time you remember how many languages no longer have speakers, how many ruins are abandoned, how many people lived happy lives before you. to feel melancholy and longing every time you study history - of this world or another, even fictional. to want to play a role in history, but in the same time fear dying, passing, being forgotten like those thousands before you.

if u want u can help preserve the memory of a shtetl (european towns with large jewish populations that were almost all destroyed in the holocaust) by donating to fund the translations of yizkor books

promise is a poem by me. thank you if you read it ✩

transcript:

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Headcanons for cry time:

⚠️mentions of death, mental health, etc⚠️

Andrew labels all his clothes. Not because he’s worried Aaron’s going to steal them (that is part of it, though) but because he has a name. He spent so many years as Doe, unclaimed and unwanted but now he has a name and it’s his and he’s a Minyard for better or worse. He’s not unwanted anymore. When his name first changed, he spent hours writing it over and over again on everything he owned. Andrew Minyard.

Wymack does that thing where he accidentally calls his foxes by the wrong name. After Seth’s death, he turns to Matt when he’s being an asshole and snaps “shut it, Gordon.” His grief comes back so quickly because he will never yell “Gordon!” across the court or be able to pat Seth on the back and say “good job kid” again because he’s gone

Nicky finds life incredibly hard when he finally moves back to Germany to be with Erik. He hates himself for it. It should be good, it should be a fairytale. Erik’s the love of his life, the man of his dreams! But Nicky feels lost. He’s spent seven years away, but when he moves back he feels wrong. The house is too quiet, the room too dark. His bed feels too heavy with Erik in it. Erik finds him on the sofa one morning and makes him talk about it. Things go up from there, but glacially slow.

Aaron never recovers from his nightmares. Coping with them gets easier with time, but they never go away. He’ll wake up shouting in his sleep, mind full of blood and bare skin and Andrew’s hurt. The first time he has a nightmare and Andrew is in another state, he has to call his brother at two in the morning and get him to stay on the phone until Aaron can sleep again.

Of the three Fox adults in the story, Bee dies first. Andrew’s known her for twenty years and then she’s just not there anymore. Sure, her memory was all but gone and she couldn’t walk by herself but it was still Bee. Neil doesn’t know how to help, can’t offer anything other than the vague offer of assistance if Andrew needs it. Andrew spends a month curled up in a ball eating ice cream and being angry at the world for being so cruel. Then, Wymack dies too.

“If Wylan is still a virgin by winter break, we are throwing an Aztec themed ‘sacrifice the virgin’ party.”

— Jesper Fahey

No but imagine kevin and neil facetiming during night practice after kevin goes pro because neither of them are used to practicing alone. Andrew is there because of course he is.

Neil would set up a laptop on the home bench and Andrew would sit down beside it to watch both kevin and neil practice amd they'd come up and talk to him during breaks

Even after andrew graduates he still joins the call to watch them. Night after night, without fail, he watches them play.

And sometimes, on sleepless nights, neil sits near a window at the tower, calls kevin and just- talks. Talks about exy, about classes, about how the new freshmen are hopeless and andrew's new coach reminds him of wymack.

How neil took a younger fox to exites, and how it reminded him of when kevin took him to buy a new racquet. How nicky used to make them tea on quiet nights and aaron would begrudgingly sit down beside neil with a stack of notes from class.

Some nights kevin would sit in the little balcony of his apartment, warm blanket around his shoulders, and call andrew. And sometimes they'd rest in comfortable silence, each other's prescenece was all they needed.

Other times andrew would let kevin talk about whatever historical period he was obsessed with that the time. Letting his words wash over him and fill and soften the tense silence of the night. Andrews shoulders would relax for the first time that night, his heart would calm, he'd sink into the comfort that was kevin, right tbere on the other end of the line, fully prepared to stay all night, morning practice be damned.

The first night kevin comes back home to palmetto, he sleeps in the monsters' dorm. No one says a word about it. And no one mentions how this is the most well rested neil has been in weeks.

The first time kevin and neil practice together after kevin went pro? No one dares come between them. Even as andrew took his place at the goal.

They snap back together as of they'd never been apart. They weave around each other, perfecting each impossible pass and play. Kevin taught neil every new trick and drill. Andrew stood immovable at the goal, seemingly ignoring kevin's proud (and a little smug) smile and neil's open grin, making the the striker duo struggle for every goal. Andrew's patience would soon run out, the next night he would simply watch from the bleachers. But for now, he indulged them.

Come morning they'd have to acknowledge the fact that their time was short. Some they'd all be pulled apart into different worlds, different courts, so far away from home, but that was tomorrow.

Tonight there were here. Tonight they were home.

The Kiss of Life - A utility worker giving mouth-to-mouth to co-worker after he contacted a low voltage wire, 1967