From “ask Polly: Why Should I Keep Going?”

Men describing women’s appearances and bodies in literature is universally traumatic

“No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky.”

— Bob Dylan

Early one direction was fantastic. NO stage presence. No dance moves. They’d just be up on stage like awkwardly bopping around and shoving each other and like fucking giving eachother smooches on the cheek. There was one show where Harry styles got pantsed during his solo??? They were the boyband that NEVER wanted to or intended to be in a boyband! They were totally in it for the fame and the money, but they became BROS !!!! They were FRIENDS!! And that’s the true beauty, the friends we made along the way!

I can’t sleep because I keep thinking of D. I had a dream about him the other night — we were in some sort of retreat together. When we finally got the chance to interact, I asked him if I actually did piss him off and he said yes. Then, I gave him my rationale that it was inevitable that I did that. He wasn’t mad mad but I felt like he got so turned off by it so I understand. Then when I think he finally came to terms with it, he started saying how he can’t believe we’re together again (not together together, but like, in the same room together). I was actually a little spooked because I thought he was already seeing someone else but he seemed so happy to be with me again so whatever.

I’m so pissed at the fact that I had to wake up before anything happened. I can’t believe this is happening. I’d like to think that I haven’t truly felt this way ever, not even with the people I actually dated. I’m so mad that I know a lot about him that, if I were sick enough, I could actually hunt him down. Of course, I won’t do that. I know my dream did not mean anything other than the fact that I saw one of his friends’ story with him in it. I haven’t thought of him in a long time because I’ve been trying not to proactively. Sometimes though, I do still wonder if I could ever talk to him again. I wonder what I’d say. I could tell him I have never felt what I felt that night for any other person. I could tell him it felt pointless to seek or even think of finding a partner when the one I actually wanted in my life has passed me by. I could tell him that I’ve only been to his place one time but the C-5/Pasig area crushes my soul every time I pass through there because it was one of the most serene moments of my life and I’m not even sure if I could ever feel that way again. I mean all of that, which is why I feel so helpless because it’s not like I could just reach out to him again. He’s been seeing this girl and I know because I saw that his music ig followed her. Right then and there, I kind of already knew. When I went to check on the girl, I found that she has twitter and linked to it was her tumblr. On her tumblr, she would post a lot about him. I hate this even more because she looks so pretty and nice and in love. And, I could never wish for her relationship’s downfall just because I have a crush on her man.

I just hope that I finally find a reason to stop thinking of him and wishing for him. Sometimes I pray for him to just get married already so that I could finally end my delusion. It hurts that this is how things are and even more so because I can’t even do anything about it.

Anyway, here’s ceilings.

“But it's over

Then you're drivin' me home

And it kinda comes out as I get up to go

You kiss me in your car

And it feels like the start of a movie I’ve seen before…”

date a girl who makes it harder to go to sleep but easier to get up every morning

i need everyone to know that community is what will save us all in every single way imaginable. you forming a bond with your neighbour or coworker might help them move house or feel less alone or have the courage to leave an unhealthy living environment. you helping a stranger might provide them with hope. in turn, being able to lean on your community in times of need will save you. your broader bonds with your community are the revolution we need. our society seeks to divide and separate us in so many ways but we are all so much more united in our struggles and joys than you are made to believe. we need to hold onto each other very tightly.