We Need More Pathetic Female Characters Written By Authors Who Don't Hate Women

wish list for people who don’t want anything

aka possessions which are just possessions, but which have noticeably improved my quality of life: for when people ask you “what do you want for your birthday/Christmas/graduation” and you instantly transform into St Francis and pledge fealty to Lady Poverty because your mind went blank

nice. new. sheets. I cannot emphasize this one enough. if you’re still using the same sheets you had in college, you should probably get new ones. get yourself some 100% bamboo rayon sheets—they’re silky and perfect for summer and great for sensitive skin! or, if you’re cold all the time, flannel sheets!

kitchen knives. or even just one really good kitchen knife.

new curtains—blackout if you are a creature of the night like I am

fleece lined anything, but especially sweatpants and hoodies. wool lined socks are also good. if you don’t have the option of coming home after work and putting on an entire outfit that is loose and fuzzy, you should change that, because you deserve that option.

cookie sheets with a layer of air between the top and the bottom. the bottoms of your cookies will never burn again.

kitchen scale!!! no more leveling off flour with a knife and getting it all over the table!! now all your measuring is just shoveling stuff in and out of bowls like you’re at the beach. baking is both more accurate and also way more fun.

coffee bean grinder. if you want to upgrade your coffee experience, this is a great one-time purchase. just-ground beans have a much better flavor than pre-ground.

CDs!! ask for a gift card and expand your physical music collection! or a collection of the DVDs for your favorite show!

How does it feel to be the most galaxy brained person on the group therapy website

Do you feel, like, constantly overwhelmed? Unable to focus on tasks and self-care like showering? Have I got the tip for you

I recently got put on this method through a YouTube video recommended to me called the Sharp Ax method. Name doesn't matter, I'm gonna skip right to telling you what to do.

You have a notebook? Maybe one that you've horded and used once or twice before abandoning? Grab that shit. Get your favorite pen. At the top of the page you're going to write "Brain Dump". For like, 10-15 minutes, just sit there and write down every thought that comes to mind. Does your back hurt? Write it. Do you have to make breakfast? Write it.

But here's the thing: if there's something you need to do (paperwork, showering, shopping, etc) you're gonna write it like this.

"I want to shower." "I want to check the mailbox." "I want to do my laundry today."

For whatever reason, reframing things you need to do as things you want to do has helped me so immensely, and even when I can't finish all the things I want to finish, I still feel good for finishing the ones I was able to.

This stupidly simple journaling technique (which doesn't even feel like journalling to me) has caused me to go from being chronically overwhelmed to feeling like, even just for a little bit, everything is going to be okay.

This a a reminder to not fall victim to the sunk-cost fallacy. Just because you invested time and energy into something, does not mean you should indefinitely waste more time and energy on it, if you decide it’s not what you want anymore. This goes for anything, from books, to relationships, to jobs, to hobbies, etc.

If it’s not serving you anymore, move on.

literally though if you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers and every day goes too fast… try doing hard things, not just taking the easy route, like reading and making art and exercising and cooking a meal from scratch and journaling, doing these things without distraction, without being absorbed on a screen… the time will stretch and you’ll be reminded that life is long and beautiful if you make it so.

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

I’m at a sociology conference and just attended a memorial for one of the giants of our field, and one of the panelists told this story…he was at a meeting with this guy, who he got his PhD under and had a long standing relationship with, and he was bemoaning the current state of the world, and he asked this old professor, “how can you be so optimistic? I can’t ever be anything but a pessimist.”

and the old professor said, “you little fucker, I’m going to make a statement and then I’m going to take you out to the parking lot and beat your ass. What good does your pessimism do?”

and that really struck me. not the least because I also knew this old professor and he very rarely swore, so I know this was something he was really worked up about. what good does your pessimism do? What GOOD does your pessimism DO. I’ll be thinking about that for awhile.

Yes, I've posted this before. It is super-relevant now.

If you are able to become pregnant, YOU HAVE NO SAY over what happens if you do. You have no right to make your own decisions about your own life and your own body.

YOU HAVE LESS BODILY AUTONOMY THAN A CORPSE.

Think about that.

Liz Fosslien  

I generally agree with that post going around about how you should let kids fuck around and find out with physical play but it carries this weighty implication that if you don’t develop kinesthetics at an early age you’ll never develop them at all, which is a very discouraging way to talk about the real possibilities of adult life