Brock08 - Untitled

Started working on the xterra again….. turns out it wasn’t the head gasket…… I managed to break off the side of one of my pistons…. Full rebuild it is.

Time to reevaluate some priorities, NYC for school in the fall is starting to really look like it might come together. Just waiting on my acceptance letter 😁😁. It’s amazing how fast things change when you move past toxic actions and people.

Just found a few of your old voicemails while trying to make some space, hearing you say you love me again after so long was definitely a roller coaster. For a second though, I got to remember what it felt like to be cared about by the person that mattered the most to me in this world. Kinda glad that even after everything and all this time little things like that still bring joy to my life.

I wish we would have treated both ourselves and each other better. I’m sorry I lost my mind, and any respect for myself. I’m still always here if you want to reach out. I still care and I still want to be in each other’s lives. I get it if that’s not possible when you’re in a relationship, and I’ll respect that. Hell, I don’t even know if you want me around at all. I just know I miss you so incredibly much.

As of yesterday, I signed a 5 year lease on piece of property that I can develop as I see fit. Might not be exactly what I wanted but it’s a start and now there’s a bit of security in making improvements and putting my time and energy into making it somewhere I enjoy being.

*lays on floor and smokes a blunt by myself*