CIA - Blog Posts
Is all this attention turning Jill Kelley on?
Looking at the photos of Jill Kelley (the Socialite who got the ball rolling in the Petraeus scandal, not the famous porn actress) it appears that she may be finding all of this attention pretty stimulating. It could the be cut of the material, but then again maybe not.
P L A N T A S . . .
Ahora resulta que las plantas pueden hacer todo este merequetengue:
· 𝙴𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚊n 𝚕𝚘 𝚚𝚞𝚎 𝚙𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚜 𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚜:
Conocido como el efecto Backster gracias al ex Agente Estadounidense de la CIA, Cleve Backster, quien se especializaba en investigación e interrogación utilizando el polígrafo un día se pregunto si el instrumento podría detectar el movimiento del agua subiendo desde la raíz hasta las hojas de una planta, así que conecto su planta Drácena (La Drácena o Dracaena, es una de las plantas de interior más resistentes y que pueden vivir en ambientes de sombra y poca luz) al polígrafo y descubrió que las señales eléctricas estaban muy vivas y fluctuaban en sentido contrario a lo que el esperaba. Después de 1 minuto, la planta dio señales de ser consciente de que no era la única en la habitación. Para conseguir una reacción parecida a la de un ser humano en un interrogatorio, pensó en formas de hacer sentir a la planta que su bienestar estaba siendo amenazado. Primero intento mojar una de las hojas en una taza de café caliente y golpear las hojas con su pluma pero casi no hubo respuesta, intento varias otras cosas sin éxito hasta que se le ocurrió prender un fósforo y quemar una de sus hojas. En ese momento la planta estaba a unos 15 pies de distancia (4.5 metros) de donde él estaba parado, lo único nuevo que ocurrió fue el pensamiento, en el mismo momento en que la imagen de la quema de esa hoja entró en la mente de Baxter, el bolígrafo de registro del polígrafo se movió rápidamente hacia la parte superior del gráfico, no se pronunciaron palabras, no se tocó la planta, no se encendieron cerillas, solo una clara intención de quemar la hoja, ese registro mostró emoción dramática, como si tuviera mucho miedo. Backster se aferró cada vez más a una teoría que desarrolló llamada “percepción primaria”, que creía que era una forma de conciencia incrustada en las células de todos los seres vivos que, al menos en el caso de las plantas, les daba una profunda sensibilidad a los pensamientos y sentimientos de los demás.
· 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚗 𝚊 𝚕𝚊 𝚖ú𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊:
Algunos estudios han demostrado que las plantas reconocen mejor la música clásica por la tranquilidad que brindan sus tonos y sus vibraciones. Cleve Backster, observo durante varias semanas los resultados cuando regaba una planta poniendo de fondo distintos géneros de música y los resultados fueron claros. Cuando se emitían sonidos fuertes y violentos, la planta mostraba señales eléctricas negativas. En cambio, cuando sonaba música agradable, esta emitía señales eléctricas positivas. Esto quiere decir, una vez más, que los organismos vivos reaccionan a los estímulos que reciben día a día. Es por esto que la música clásica tiene un efecto especial para las plantas, estimulando positivamente desde la germinación de sus semillas, hasta el crecimiento de sus tallos y hojas. Cuando una música específica, tonos altos o el cantar de un pájaro causan la vibración de la planta, es por eso que los pájaros empiezan a cantar antes del amanecer, su sonido es una frecuencia que ayuda a abrir los estomas de las células vegetales, en la parte inferior de la hoja. Y permite que la planta empiece a respirar por la mañana, como si las despertaran. Esa misma frecuencia es la que se encuentra en la música clásica. A la practica del cuidado de las plantas combinando vitaminas y frecuencias especificas se conoce como Sonic Bloom, técnica desarrollada por Dan Carlson, aumenta el crecimiento de las plantas y su producción.
· 𝚃𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚊𝚗 𝚢 𝚝𝚎 𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗:
No tienen ojos, pero si tienen proteínas fotorreceptoras por todo su cuerpo, que son proteínas sensibles a la luz involucradas en la detección y respuesta a la luz en una variedad de organismos. Las mismas proteínas fotorreceptoras en la parte trasera de las retinas de los ojos humanos. Pueden percibir luz, aromas, tacto, agua y muchas mas cosas que nosotros. Pueden aprender, recordar y comunicarse. También exhiben características de personalidad. Tienen la capacidad de verte cuando estas frente a ellas y el color de tu ropa. No tienen cerebros pero transforman la información en señales electroquímicas en sus células idénticas a las usadas por nuestras propias neuronas. Las plantas responden a las vibraciones del sonido cercano que activa dos genes clave en su interior que influyen en su crecimiento. También aumentan la producción de fotosíntesis en respuesta al dióxido de carbono, que es un subproducto del habla humana. Una investigación realizada por el Instituto Nacional de Biotecnología Agrícola de Corea del Sur muestra que las plantas comienzan a reaccionar al sonido a 70 decibeles. Por suerte para nosotros, 70 decibeles es el nivel de sonido de una conversación humana promedio. Cuanto más alto hables o pongas música alrededor de tus plantas, más estimuladas estarán, considera que las palabras agradables y positivas son las mas efectivas.
· 𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚗 𝚎𝚕 𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚊:
La Pamplina (Hierba Gallinera), el Diente de León, la Enredadera, el Añil Silvestre, el Trébol y los Tulipanes doblan sus pétalos antes de la lluvia. En las zonas costeras, las Algas se utilizan a menudo como pronosticadores meteorológicos naturales. El Quelpo, por ejemplo, se arruga y se siente seco cuando hace buen tiempo, pero se hincha y se humedece si llueve. En un bosque de pinos a Piña es uno de los pronosticadores mas confiables. Cambian de forma según este mojado o seco. En condiciones secas, las escamas se mantienen separadas y rígidas; en la humedad, se ablandan un poco y se cierran para asumir la forma de un cono. Muchas otras variedades de flores cierran sus pétalos cuando se acerca la lluvia o la noche, para abrirlos nuevamente después de la lluvia o la mañana siguiente. Speedwell (Veronica), Hieraciums, Campion Rojo(Silene dioica), Chicory (Achicoria), Tulipanes, Nenúfar blanco (White Water Lily), Gaultheria(Wintergreen) y Ocas (Wood Sorrel), por nombrar algunos. ──・──・・✧ ・・──・──
qewwqeewrtrgergtehgyqwg
Man' not wearing a shirt makes me feel like a pathetic creature even more vulnerable to C.I.A attacks then usual.
I am not happy. And I have a very important memorandum about shopping in New York specifically: how cares exist. https://flic.kr/p/23UsPa8
brbussyone
people will to get to know me more when they appreciate how I invest ... I advertised and recruited for the Lyons Long Term Trust with Paris Hilton knows how to tie a knot .... Angelina Jolie knows how to smile
How will CIA Family Resouces invest with Alexander?
if you’re happy, who cares.
A declassified World War II-era government guide to “simple sabotage” is currently one of the most popular open source books on the internet. The book, called “Simple Sabotage Field Manual,” was declassified in 2008 by the CIA and “describes ways to train normal people to be purposefully annoying telephone operators, dysfunctional train conductors, befuddling middle managers, blundering factory workers, unruly movie theater patrons, and so on. In other words, teaching people to do their jobs badly.” Over the last week, the guide has surged to become the 5th-most-accessed book on Project Gutenberg, an open source repository of free and public domain ebooks. It is also the fifth most popular ebook on the site over the last 30 days, having been accessed nearly 60,000 times over the last month (just behind Romeo and Juliet).
[...]
Because it was written during active wartime, the book includes various suggestions for causing physical violence and destruction, such as starting fires, flooding warehouses, breaking tools, etc. But it also includes many suggestions for how to just generally be annoying within a bureaucracy or office setting. Simple sabotage ideas include: “Insist on doing everything through ‘channels.’ Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.” “Make ‘speeches.’ Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your ‘points’ by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate ‘patriotic’ comments.” “Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.” “Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.” “‘Misunderstand’ orders. Ask endless questions or engage in long correspondence about such orders. Quibble over them when you can.” “In making work assignments, always sign out the unimportant jobs first. See that the important jobs are assigned to inefficient workers of poor machines.” “To lower morale and with it, production, be pleasant to inefficient workers; give them undeserved promotions. Discriminate against efficient workers; complain unjustly about their work.” “Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done.” “Multiply paperwork in plausible ways.” “Make mistakes in quantities of material when you are copying orders. Confuse similar names. Use wrong addresses.” “Work slowly. Think out ways to increase the number of movements necessary on your job” “Pretend that instructions are hard to understand, and ask to have them repeated more than once. Or pretend that you are particularly anxious to do your work, and pester the foreman with unnecessary questions.” “Snarl up administration in every possible way. Fill out forms illegibly so that they will have to be done over; make mistakes or omit requested information in forms.” The guide also suggests “general devices for lowering morale and creating confusion,” which include “Report imaginary spies or danger to the Gestapo or police,” “act stupid,” “Be as irritable and quarrelsome as possible without getting yourself into trouble,” “Stop all conversation when axis nationals or quislings enter a cafe,” “Cry and sob hysterically at every occasion, especially when confronted by government clerks.”
29 January 2025
crystalbrain-trump micropenis
ok, donald j. trump just doesn't understand teh whole CIA thing, which is that we have constant, orgiastic, cocaine-fueled man-on-man sex orgies. we didn't know why, but evenentually we figured out why donald trump has no fuckin gay sex with us: he has a very, very, very small penis. eye think that trump paid stormy daniels money 2 say that his penis looked liek toad from mario kart becuz this is actually a compliment compared 2 the reality of trump's incredibly small penis. it is really small, at first i thought i was looking at a clitoris but it was not the case becuz there was a nutsaq underneath it, and it was liek just a tiny little dick with two gigantic balls that apparently maek him act even dumber than me. he was really bitchy about cocaine acting all holier than though about it but we eventually got his ass to do a line. he wouldn't smoke crack becuz his two gigantic manballs made him a testosterone filled racist but since cocaine is for rich ppl he thought, we were able 2 convince him 2 at least try it. all i gotta say is that donald trump out-assholed everyone, every CIA agent was completely baffled as 2 how someone could be such a grandiosose asshole and i for one did not want him near teh cocaine again. he didn't know how 2 be a world leader, becuz he couldn't handle his cocaine.
so anyways, he doesn't listen 2 our coke-addled advice and then the fucker turns on us and tries 2 get rid of teh legislature we control, leik hello? we're teh CIA, we were on to your ass the second u wouldn't show us ur penis, did u not know that we used interdimensional superpowers 2 keep u from overthrowing our cool little circle of rich cocaine heads? u think ur a real machivellian but ur not realistic enough, ur just leik a really dumb schoolyard bully who's mad cuz he got a D minus on a math quiz and his dad fucked him in the ass as punishment. seriously, what can i say that hasn't been said about u? oh, i know, u call hentai "japanese cartoons" but these are actually sex demons that ur penis will never experience.
because its too fuckin' small.
crystalbrain-the treachery of reagan
ok, so ronald reagan was my republican gay sex partner when i was ten and he introduced me 2 teh fine art of smoking crack cocaine before he brainwashed me into victimizing ghettos in america wit the new form of freebase…we would hang out with dictators and the CIA and shit and just be taking huge hits of crack and we got so fuckin high and started talking about platonic philosophy or some bullshit liek that. i dunno, i was born when i was 9 in a TV but ronald reagan was the guy who fucked the TV in the ass and caused it 2 explode. anyways we were in a gay turkish bath and passing a pipe back and forth (it was the pipe u see in the picture) and we were discussing the fine points of enslaving people under a bullshit economic idea called trickle down economics or somethin when george bush walked in and he had this huge quarter rock that was fresh out of the microwave. we passed that baby back and forth and got so fucking coked up on that motherfucker that i actually thought that unsuccessfully voting for him even though i wasn't 18 yet would be a good idea. this was illegal though, much liek smoking crack or having nuns killed in third world countries.
anyways, it was a really good time. there was crack on the streets, the contras had their weapons and training 2 overthrow a democratically elected government, punk rock had already shot its wad, and no one could stop us until i turned traitor because HOLY SHIT these republican dudes are fucking insane! ok, so i stole all the crack i could and decided to go to another dimension where I buried liek $5 million dollars in individual vials of rock in teh arizona desert next to some atari games. i heard they exhumed the games but they totally missed the crack rocks that were liek 10 feet away. what the fuck, people? that's cash money right there. i don't know what to say except that i had a falling out with reagan because he liek got me addicted to crack when i was 10 and that just isn't cool man.
a 6x6 square of crystalbrain
yeth, eye have made enough NFTs 2 cover 35 squares, witch leaves one square to put my name in (it's in teh bottom right and says "crystalbrain"). eye am proud of my work, witch comes as easily as female ejactulation 2 women in videos when u search "squirting" with safesearch off.
there is much crack cocaine 2 be smoked, so i will be short. the CIA has used interdimensional listening devices in the molecules of crack rocks in this city, so i have to be quiet or they will pick up on my voice and seventeen different types of aliens will show up and try unsuccessfully to vaporize me as i bat away their UFOs with my enormous gay penis toward the galaxy andromeda. eye am not fucking around, eye have played cat and mouse with teh CIA for 2 long.
anyways, buy my NFTs.
CIA document on me
eye stoled this from the CIA:
ABSTRACT: A preliminary investigation of "crystalbrain" has yielded some interesting data, the most pertinent of which is that "crystalbrain", aside from various hedonistic behaviors, is an indeterminate entity. Indeed, it claims to be many things but its ultimate nature is an "undefined" mystery, as is implied by its association with "undefined label", an anonymous collective of an unknown number of artists who make noise music and digital art. It has its own origin explanation involving various obscene scenarios which defy reason, but which it passionately insists are indeed true. "crystalbrain" has a preoccupation primarily with various stimulant drugs, such as "crack" cocaine and methamphetamine, which it brags about consuming. Whether this consumption is a fact of an actual entity named "crystalbrain" is a mystery, but the descriptions given by it of its consumption do provide a glimpse of someone with at least passing familiarity with said stimulants.
"crystalbrain" claims to be an interdimensional being, as if it could slip in and out of reality facing no consequences for its actions by erasing its past in what it calls a state of "enlightened stupididity [sic]". whether this claimed ability is a fabrication on the part of "crystalbrain" is not known, but we have seen little evidence of it. Given its reality-changing nature, however, it would make sense that we would not see any evidence of the phenomenon if it were indeed true. "crystalbrain" has claimed to do many things that are illegal besides consuming drugs, including theft of government property, assault on police officers, and murder. "crystalbrain" also claims the ability to control other peoples' minds so that they do his bidding, even having claimed to have turned armies to his side in alternate realities.
baia baia