Send Me To Mars With Party Supplies Before Next August 5th

no thoughts but this

Apparently “what ho!” is a corruption of Beowulf’s “hwaet!”?? 

Now need a P.G. Wodehouse translation of Beowulf.

What ho! Have you heard of these chaps, Dashed good fellows with a spear and whatnot–

In the modern idiom:

“So Bob said […]” indicates that I am directly quoting Bob.

“Then Bob was like […]” indicates that I am paraphrasing Bob.

“And Bob was all […]” indicates that I am paraphrasing Bob, and additionally I am being a dick about it.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s fantastic that we have a specific grammatical convention for that.

business email glossary

thanks in advance: get this done by the time i press "send"

thanks for your interest: why'd you have to bring this up

would you be so kind: fucking do it

best: i have never physically met you

all best: this conversation is over

all my best: i wish you would die

happy to help: this is the easiest thing in my inbox

i hope this helps: i've done all i'm willing to do

i did a bit of research: i googled it, because you're too lazy to

sorry to chase: answer my email

so sorry to chase: answer my FUCKING email

i am really sorry for being a pest but: i am LIVID that you are ignoring me

please contact my colleague: this isn't my problem

i'm copying in my colleague: this isn't my problem and i am thrilled about it

i'll check and get back to you: i might forget to

i'll let you know when i hear anything: i will forget to

can you check back with me in a week?: i'm hoping you will forget to

per our earlier conversation: i just yelled at you on the phone

great to chat just now: you just yelled at me on the phone

thanks!: i'm not mad at you

thanks!!: please don't be mad at me

thanks!!!: i'm crying at my desk

please advise: this might be your fault

kindly advise: this is entirely your fault

mind if i swing by?: i'm already in the elevator

can you confirm for me: you told me before and i deleted the email

sorry if that was unclear: i think you're an idiot

let me know if you need anything else: please never contact me again

“My approach usually is just to look for the emotional truth in the story. You know, regardless of whether it’s a foster kid on the run from the army or about a boy who’s obsessed with Michael Jackson or some vampires living together in a flat in Wellington. I really believe that if you based your story in some sort of emotional authenticity then you’re gonna be okay.”

Happy birthday, Taika Waititi! (August 16th, 1975)

Furiosa colored

PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I don't need ascorbic acid. From my cells. I eat fruit all the time dude. I'm better than that OTHER PREHISTORIC PROTO-MONKEY: I agree with your lifestyle and will fuck you raw to prove it GUY LOOKING FOR THE NORTHWEST PASSAGE 36,530,125 YEARS LATER: ow oof my shitty british teeth

くコ: 彡 くコ: 彡くコ: 彡くコ: 彡くコ: 彡くコ: 彡

Reblog those rainbow gay squids and something good will happen to you