Buxtry - Bingo Jones

Send me to Mars with party supplies before next august 5th

Gillian Anderson :  Media + Lucy Ball 

‘You know’, she said, 'there’s a twelve step program for gambling.’ 'Twelve steps.’ Coyote laughed. 'I’ll bet I can do it in six.’

Coyote Blue (via 0hc0mmonlife)

“Hallelujah”

Saturday Night Live (11.12.2016)

I was nominated against my father and I lost to him, my dad was not there so I had to go up and accept the award. Alicia Vikander was the lady handing out the trophy and she was standing there in horror because she thought that I had heard the wrong name and was strutting up because I thought that I had won. That was one of the most awkward experiences of my life.

The Official Vikings Cast Portrait (x)

greek gods as donald trump quotes

zeus: She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said that if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.

hera: My marriage, it seemed, was the only area of my life in which I was willing to accept something less than perfection.

athena: Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault

aphrodite: My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.

hades: Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.

demeter: Give me clean, beautiful and healthy air - not the same old climate change (global warming) bullshit! I am tired of hearing this nonsense.

ares: I will be so good at the military your head will spin.

hestia: I had some beautiful pictures taken in which I had a big smile on my face. I looked happy, I looked content, I looked like a very nice person, which in theory I am.

hephaestus: Lyin’ Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a shoot in his ad. Be careful, Lyin’ Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife!

dionysus: I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's were the fun is.

hermes: There have been many bad things said about me over the years, and in some cases they’ve been true.

poseidon: All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.

apollo: In the second grade I actually gave a teacher a black eye — I punched my music teacher because I didn’t think he knew anything about music and I almost got expelled.

artemis: I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.

Things I’ve always wondered

A gentile vampire turns a promising Torah scholar into a vampire. Is the scholar still permitted to study Torah? Are they still under the yoke of the mitzvot? How does vampirism impact observant Jewish practice? Are they still Jewish, or are they apostates? Would it be permissible for the scholar to turn other people into vampires to cure them of terminal illnesses?

To what degree are Jewish werewolves morally responsible for their actions while under the influence of the full moon? What must they do if they eat treyf in their wolf form?

If, for some reason, we must leave earth for another inhabitable planet on the other side of the galaxy, what do we do about holidays and observing Shabbat? Would we go by earth time or local time? What if this planet has no moon or more than one moon? How would we face Jerusalem to pray?

Can aliens convert to Judaism? If so, does it only apply to humanoid aliens like the greys, or would reptilian aliens and ilithids be able to convert too?

Can sentient machines like the Terminator convert to Judaism? What about Agents from The Matrix?

Speaking of The Matrix, are we still obligated to obey the mitzvot even if we are literally brains in jars or living in a simulated reality created by computer programs? What happens if we’re freed and whatever basis for our Jewish identity we had is no longer present or certain. Are we still Jews? Do we still have a covenant?