celetya

Latest Posts by celetya

Shadow's No Good, Very Bad Day

I have my own personal headcanon that in the star trek universe Human musicals are EXTREMELY popular amongst the stars and across all galaxy's. Cause sure, other aliens have singing and dancing and music of all sorts but everyone quickly agrees that there is nothing like a human musical. It baffles a few Ferengi's ears when hoo-mans sing in such a high frequency for such a long time that shouldn't even be possible with their lung size! Vulcan's can appreciate the synchrony of their dancing and consider it a very pleasing experience (Their incredibly impressed by it and it becomes a frequent topic of conversation). Cardassian's admire the way the characters sing/talk to the audience and reveal what their feeling but not to the other characters, it's fun to watch secrets unfold or explode to someone's face as chaotic antics happen all around them (Their favorites tend to be Stephan Sondheim musicals). Surprisingly, even Klingons aren't immune to the talent of human musical theatre, on any given night you'll see a large group of Klingons sitting around a table ready for an opera show and tales from soprano's receiving numerous thanks and glory be's! from burly Klingons after a show.

Friend Shaped

The professor clacked his beak sharply three times in the front of the room. The students, around 40 individuals, and many species from across the galactic arm hushed almost immediately. “Welcome back, class. The day for your first planet-side mission to Nemulon 3 is fast approaching, and we've still got a lot of safety training to cover, so let's get started.” The professor stepped aside to allow a projection to display against the board behind him. A picture of a blue, green, and gray planet shone brightly against the dark tapestry of space. Nemulon 3 had been discovered deca-orbits ago but offered a wide variety of biomes that were the perfect blend of challenging and safe to train new recruits to the Galactic Alliance’s Exploration Fleet. “Today we're covering some alien fauna you may encounter while conducting exploratories. Most are small enough that they won't pose much of an issue, but we do have a few category 5 lifeforms that you need to be aware of.” The display behind the professor changed from an image of Nemulon 3 from orbit to a chart topped by 5 images with their respective labels: karindru, oold, dini-dini, barintuna, and great lavalen. Before the professor could start in on the next part of his lecture, a voice spoke out from the middle of the classroom.“That looks like a dog.” The professor stood with his beak half open. He was certainly not used to being interrupted, let alone this early in the lesson. “A what?” He finally choked out. There was a pause as if the offending student was thinking better about drawing more attention to themselves before slowly putting their hand up in the air. It was a human. Cadet Valentina, if the attendance role had been accurate. “I said it… it looks like a dog.” Human Valentina inhaled as if gathering the courage to say more. “They're a carnivorous canine species on earth that humans domesticated thousands of cycles ago and selectively bred to be pets.” The professor’s beak closed with a snap and some of the features near the base of his neck ruffled slightly. “Nemulon 3 is 47 light years away from Earth. Any similarities between each planet’s fauna is purely coincidental, a product of parallel evolution.” The human bowed her head and said nothing else, so the professor continued. “Now, for many of you of larger stature, a single karindru might not pose much of a threat, but their real danger comes from their numbers. They live, travel, and hunt in packs. Thankfully, their method of communicating with each other in their packs are quite loud, so you will hear them long before you see them, and hopefully, before they see you. Typically you’ll hear anything from yipping, chirping, and howling.” “Kind of like coyotes.” The professor stopped and stared at the human again, feathers ruffling once again. “Another kind of canine species back home,” Valentina offered quietly. If the professor was capable of growling, he might have been tempted to at that moment. Instead, he sighed slowly. “I can assure you, trying to get close to these will likely end with your injury or death.” “Well, that's what ancient humans thought about wolves too, but then we bred them into dogs and now they’re our best friends.” “Karindru are not, nor are any native creatures on this planet, your friend. Not now, not ever.” The professor turned sharply back to the board. The entire class was dead silent. Few even dared to breathe. It was quiet enough, in fact, to hear the human mumble under their breath, “If not friend, then why friend-shaped?”

The human was promptly given detention and assigned extra homework of writing “I will not try to domesticate any native fauna on Nemulon 3” one hundred times by hand.

I saw a bunch of humans are space orcs, and humans are feared by aliens, etc. and want to add to it.

Kid centre for all alien children/younglings run by humans.

-"Human Kim! Are you all right? Do you seek medical aid??"

"I'm okay! ...why do you ask?"

"You just got bit by Zyz! I'm so sorry, I've told him to not do that with others but-!"

"Hey, it's okay. Look, these things happen and I know that's just your species' way of showing affection. Just tell him to ask next time and to not bite too hard."

"... 'these things happen' .... 'tell him to ask next- human Kim has this happened to you before?!"

"Oh lots of times! I used to work at a daycare on earth before this. Now, you wanna talk about bites let me tell you about Penny, she was a biter. So was my nephew but that was him stimming. I just asked that he get my attention first so as to not startle me."

"Is this the same Penee who gave you 3 stitches?"

"Yep."

-"Human Kim, thank you for helping Pollix become comrades with the other younglings! May I ask how you did it so I may use it in the future?"

"Of course! It wasn't anything special really, we just wrestled which caught the attention of the other kids and soon enough they were cheering for Pollix to win. Then after that Xw and a few others asked Pollix to teach her how to wrestle as well." they finished with a smile.

"YOU WHAT!"

"I-I thought play wrestling and fighting was encouraged among young tighalax. I am so sorry if I did something wrong-!"

"Human Kim, you could have DIED."

"...huh?"

"Tighalaxes have what you call drugs in the points of our tails and one cut should drive you insane. Not only that but we, as younglings, should be nearly twice your body weight. And at this age have yet to control our strength!"

"Ooh so that's why I felt high! Phew! I thought I accidentally ate my weed muffin instead of the regular one, and we can't have that."

"You felt 'high'?"

"Yeah but only for 10 minutes, luckily I usually just get tired and relaxed when high. And for the weight strength part, I grew up babysitting all of my younger siblings and cousins. My child carrying records are 5 4-6 year olds, 4 7-12 year olds, 3 teenagers, and 2 childish giants who are somehow 21 this year."

"...any chance I can bribe you to quit and come work for me and my pack?"

literally everything having to do with ron delite is hilarious. doesn't know what he's talking about ever. became a criminal to fuel his wifes shopping addiction. so pathetic that he gets declared innocent for a crime he's guilty of. when asked a question by his own lawyer he asks phoenix what HE thinks. admits to a murder he didnt actually commit several times on accident. found a dead body and instead of calling the cops his immediate, innate reaction was to hide said body. when asked why he hid that body in the safe his response is that it wouldnt fit in a drawer. confesses to being a criminal but the court cant do shit about it because of double jepordy. uses his freedom to run a rehab center for thieves, only to sell heist plans to said thieves. also uses his freedom to team up with his wife to continue stealing. flirts with another man in front of his wife and also an entire courtroom

I can imagine Sun absolutely hating this.

I miss the Bloodmoon twins.

The batfam meet Jarro

Ok so this isn't dp x dc but I just needed to share this coz I made myself laugh a lot with this.

So a little context, Jarro is an alien "Star Conqueror" that was veryyy briefly made robin in Justice League Vol 4 #10. He was grown, named and adopted by Batman. Jarro even calls him dad (it's really cute):

Anyway, I'm pretty sure he's never mentioned again after that.

So yeah, with that in mind I had the crack idea of the batfam meeting Jarro and just being really jealous (while everyone around them is just: "That... is a literal starfish")

So a few lines I've got:

“Of course, dad!” Jarro says.

Jason jolts at that. Once upon a time, he used to call B that. He'd been the only one to do so. Not anymore.

Damian: I am the only blood heir.

Jarro: He was with me my whole childhood. He litteraly grew me in a jar. He named me.

“His bio father was a villain,” steph says caustically. “A global one, too. But get this, his dad flipped sides in the end and sacrificed his own life.”

Harper stays silent and Steph sighs.

“It just. It makes you think. What do you think I would’ve been like if my dad had been more like Starro?”

“More like the giant starfish from space?”

“Yeah.”

Roy: He looks like Patrick from Spongebob?

Jason: Oh, I see how it is. Fine! If you like Jarro so much maybe you should hang out with him, then. How about you join B to play catch with him while you’re at it?

Roy: He- he doesn’t even have opposable thumbs.

Jason: Urgh. That just mean B probably has the glove custom-made.

Cassie: He is the size of my literal palm.

Tim: I know! He’s pocket-sized. I bet B loves being able to carry him around.”

Cassie: Um

Tim: He rides on B’s shoulder! His fucking shoulder, Cassie! 

Cassie: Do. Do you want B to carry you on his shoulder?

Tim: That is so not the point! And B has the gall to say he doesn’t have favourites.

“Good at hiding.” Cass observes. “Small.”

“He’s- he’s a starfish, Cass.”

She nods gravely. “No tells.” Then her brow furrow. “Can read minds. Better than reading body.” She hunches a bit. “Better than me.”

“It’s just I thought I was the only one with powers, you know?” Duke starts. “Not that I don’t like him or anything. It’s just. That was my thing you know? Or like, it used to be.”

Claire just looks at him blankly.

Dick sighs as he looks up to the ceiling, his head laying on Starfire’s lap.

“It’s just.” Dick halts, hesitant and his voice quieter than usual. “I thought I was the pretty one.”

(Ok, I'm done)

Family bonding activity: shedding brain cells in the face of danger, you didn’t need them anyways

Jarro is the only thing that matters to me

Dark Nights: Death Metal 3. Snyder, Capullo, Glapion, Plascencia

Weatherman discovers his monitor has a touch screen

Doom says gay rights

Doctor Doom somehow comes to the conclusion that to really get back at Reed, he has to marry Ben Grimm. The problem? It's the 70's and same-sex marriage still isn't legal in the US. Doom finds this unacceptable (partially because it gets in the way of his plans but also because Latveria never made it illegal in the first place.)

Queue Doctor Doom going on a massive campaign to legalize same-sex marriage across the entire world. The Fantastic 4, for once, decides to just sit back and watch and Ben just has to accept the fact that for the sake of equality, he might just have to marry his biggest enemy. The sacrifices he does for the sake of good.

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

Finally watched the Addams Family Values recently! and honestly. my main takeaway is

Debbie slays. And Joan Cusack is a QUEEN

I’m crying-

All Might’s a virgin ~ confirmed

Clowns

Olimar is not having fun.

Go for gold.

Just a quick picture for something I was writing earlier...don't worry about it

recent smaller pikmin things (mostly twitter requests)

FUN PIKMIN FACTS

1. The nose in the red pikmin is flexible!

2. Blue pikmin’s think that every pikmin can swim

3. Pikmins love hugs (or at least showing appreciation)

4. If a Bulblorb pisses them off really bad they Can disfigure them (actual frame from the pikmin shorts btw)

5. Pikmin love playing in the mud since they can’t touch water

6. White pikmin are like if 5 year olds had acid

7. They are really curious (wich is sometimes bad for them)

8. YELLOW PIKMINS LOVE PLAYING WITH ELECTRICITY

Hello lovely people I forgot I had a tumblr

When your new plant friends look like your favorite food 😭🥕 (Yes, based on that one entry about Olimar almost biting into a pikmin on accident then hugging and apologizing to it.)

god help him

Average Nintendo body horror

To be loved is to be changed or something

Louie… and friends!

What a beautiful Planet...

Louie absolutely expresses affection through food btw

MY PIKMIN ARE ALL MORONS!!!!!!!! (Happy 1st Anniversary Pikmin 4!!!!)