Color Asks

Such Wisdom…. intrinsic Knowledge and the  Carnal Acceptance of who We are… It does make the world a better place. Always.. xo.

Hi there. I'm a 16 year old black girl who has started to become more insecure. I've been bullied at school & I'm the exact opposite of western beauty ideals which majority of people follow. I'm very dark skinned with a wide broad nose, big cheekbones & big round eyes. I have started to feel worthless. I've noticed girls with dark skin are usually considered conventionally beautiful if they have thin nose and lips like Kerry Washington & East Africans. Please tell me how I can live a happy life.

Hi sweetheart.

I have thought long and hard before I answered this question, which is why it’s been sitting in my inbox for the past two days. Don’t think I’ve been ignoring you. I just prayed that I could find the words to be of help to you.

First things first: fuck Western beauty ideals. With MUCH disrespect.

And I know. That is HARD. Because it is EVERYWHERE. We are encapsulated by images of societally deemed ‘perfection’ that look far from us. I’m not lily white with blonde hair, blue eyes and a size 2. But in every ad in Vogue, the women are just that. It sucks. It’s bizarre to feel like your beauty is some sort of ‘trend’ to society. At first, white skin was clearly in. Then, lighter skinned black models became acceptable. And now, darker skinned models are ‘acceptable’ but still not booked as often, and still not used for high fashion campaigns. And even still, those girls are rail thin and don’t look like most of us. Steps are being made, but they are slow. So.

That’s why we have to take care of ourselves, sista.

Let me tell you a few things. That wide broad nose you have, is the indelible trait that you are a descendant from royalty. Your lineage is so resilient that through slavery and ships, through famine and warfare, you still have the regal bearings of your ancestors from hundreds of years ago. You are discernible as a dignified woman whose beauty is a precious gift passed down from illustrious, imperial Mother Africa many moons ago. Your broad nose notifies us all of your nobility. So hold it up high.

Your cheekbones? Do you know how many white women are paying hundreds and thousands of dollars for big cheekbones like yours? Girl, let me tell you. Those big cheekbones are God’s way of letting us all know he spent a little more time on you. He arched and sculpted and molded you until He was satisfied that when you smiled, your prominently placed cheekbones reflected light and glistened. I have big cheekbones and I love them. Every man I have ever dated has loved them. They are queenly and womanly. They add depth to my face. I can create a look of desire by sucking them in. I can create an impish look by grinning widely, sending them shooting up to kiss my eyelashes. Little sista, trust me. Big cheekbones, are one of the most beautiful attributes you can have as a woman. And even if those silly 16 year old boys aren’t telling you that now, by the time you’re my age, 9 years from now, you’ll have some man beating down your door, just to see you smile. 

Big round eyes are beautiful. They tell the world you are inquisitive. Opens your soul up for business. Your face illuminates when you laugh, eyes dancing. Your eyes give away when you are disappointed, darting downward. Your eyes widen like saucers on a Sunday morning after church when you are frightened. Your eyes are descriptive. Your eyes tell your story when you don’t have the words to say anything yourself. Big round eyes, to be honest, are actually one of the most attractive traits men look for, studies have shown. So, two points for those big brown eyes, dear.

As for your dark skin. Yes, I saved the best for last.

There is nothing worthless about your dark skin. You are clothed in the allure and mystery of midnight. You are the exact shade that God intended you to be. You are the color of the earth and of ebony and mahogany woods and of my mother’s warm eyes and a cup of my favorite coffee and the sparrow who’s song wakes me up every morning  and that point in the night when the sun hasn’t quite faded into oblivion and night hasn’t quite announced its presence. You are the deep, dark brown that lovers hide in. You are the deep, dark brown that secrets are kept. You are the deep, dark brown of the earth before He said let there be light you ARE a deep, dark brown girl and if they have the audacity to bully you, a young woman of worth and value, of beauty and strength, of character and nobility, of honor and conviction, then they are too moronic, too dense, too stupid to see that you are beautiful. And not everyone is entitled to BEHOLD your beauty.

To you, I pray. I was you 9 years ago. I felt confused and ugly and sad but I promise you, little sista, you will flourish. I hope you read this and you smile. I hope you read this and you look in the mirror and you see every beautiful trait of yours. Most importantly, I hope you read this and decide, you know what, FORGET a mirror, because you don’t need a piece of glass to reflect back on the beauty that illuminates inside of you. You are 16 years old. The world is yours if you open your heart. Happiness is, more often than not, just around the corner. So, little sista, today, tonight, or whenever you read this, make the brave choice to say, “I am beautiful. I look like a queen. I feel like a queen. My happiness is mine and mine alone and I choose to dress myself, to dress my very soul, up in happiness from head to toe.”

I hope this helps. I PRAY this helps. Please, feel free to contact me again if you want to talk. I don’t know you at all, I wish I did, but I LOVE you. And I am sending you all of my well-wishes and ‘you go, girl!’ vibes from here to wherever you are.

All my love,

Ashley

bible verses to calm the anxious heart:

Isaiah 41:10 New Living Translation (NLT)

10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Philippians 4:6-7 New Living Translation (NLT)

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

John 14:27 New Living Translation (NLT)

27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Psalm 94:19 New Living Translation (NLT)

19 When doubts filled my mind,    your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.

Joshua 1:9 New Living Translation (NLT)

9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

1 Peter 5:6-7 New Living Translation (NLT)

6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Psalm 118:6-7 New Living Translation (NLT)

6 The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear.    What can mere people do to me? 7 Yes, the Lord is for me; he will help me.    I will look in triumph at those who hate me.

Everything God Created was Wonderfully Beautiful..Happy Sunday anyone who sees this.. :-P

photos by marina cano (previously featured) of a mother elephant using her trunk to rescue her one month old calf who, after taking a drink from a watering hole, became stuck in the mud and was unable to climb out. 

the bond between a baby elephant and its mother has been described as the closest of any animal on earth. much like a human, a baby elephant is utterly dependent on its mother for the first two of three years of its life.

if the baby is female, she will typically remain together with her mother right into her own adulthood, and will likely never once be separate from her until the mother dies in old age. male elephants remain with their mothers until the age of sixteen (just about the age humans are ready to take off too).

(see also: elephants mourn the dead and other posts on elephant “humanity”)

Tip Sheet: Business and Dining Etiquette

This post and any other later posts labeled as tips sheet come from a college website I found while searching around about jobs. I’m bringing it to you all to save you the hassle. Enjoy!

How you conduct yourself and treat others in a business or dining setting speaks strongly of who you are as a professional. Research worldwide tips and strategies before traveling as different cultures have different protocols.

General Tips

Use titles (Mr. Ms. Dr.), not first names until instructed to do so.  

Be on time or 5-15 minutes early. Earlier than that can be awkward and invasive.  

Prepare for meeting, developing an agenda if you are leading.  

Do not interrupt meeting agendas, but in a timely manner, be confident in concisely sharing on-topic ideas/opinions.

Do not get intoxicated at work functions.  

Do not use profanity or tell off-colored jokes.

Do not engage in office gossip.  

Bring a positive attitude and leave personal drama at home. 

Do not air work-related frustrations via social media (e.g. These people make me sick. #ISITFRIDAYYET)  

How to Approach a Group

Present yourself with confidence.

Smile and extend dominant hand.

State your name (and company).

Know how to introduce yourself (and company) in 15 to 30 seconds.

Avoid “closed” triads: two people facing shoulder to shoulder are likely having a private conversation.  

Do not fold your arms or put them in your pockets.

Greetings

Hi, Hey, Yo, What’s up?, What’s going on? are not appropriate.

Hello is appropriate.

Introducing Yourself

It is your duty to introduce yourself.

Look people in the eyes and smile in order to seem confident and approachable.

Name tags should be placed high on right shoulder.

When should you introduce yourself?

When you realize someone does not recognize you.

When attending a business or social gathering.

When seated next to someone.

When person introducing you forgets your name.

When it is a friend of a friend whom you are talking to.

Introducing Others

Use proper titles when introducing others.

Omit titles when introducing people of same rank and position.

Never introduce a co-worker/superior by first name.

Introduce person lowest on the totem pole to the one highest.

The name of the person of greater authority is spoken first.

This means you look at the most “important person” and say, “Ms. Important, I would like to introduce you to Mr. Student, an intern in our IT department. Mr. Student, this is Mr. Important, the director of technical marketing.”

When dealing with people outside the company, clients are more important than company employees, and hiring managers are more important than job seekers.

If you are seated while being introduced, stand to shake hands.

Have a firm handshake, but avoid death grips.

Tell something about the person whom you introduce.

During the Conservation

Learn how to make small talk.

Be current on domestic and international events. If you’re not and the topic is brought up, say something along the lines of “I’m not familiar with the topic but I would enjoy learning more about it.”

Know what events impact your company or client’s.

Ask questions that focus on other person, not you.

Do not interrupt and/or finish people’s sentences.

Avoid conversations about health or diet habits, cost of things, personal life, gossip, off-color jokes and controversial issues.

Don’t gaze around room in a conversation—it’s rude and makes other person feel insignificant.

Do not touch others unless you know them well.

Ending a Conversation

Do not just walk away if you see someone more interesting— ALWAYS make a closing statement before moving on:  

“Please excuse me. It was nice talking with you.”

“It was really a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to seeing you again soon.”

“I enjoyed talking with you. I hope to see you soon.”

Summarize, “Oh, it looks like you have a fascinating job and I wish you good luck on your project.”

If graceful disengagement doesn’t work, be more direct: “I see it is really getting late and I really must go,” then back up physically. As a last result, say a parting statement while you are shaking hands and saying good-bye.

Business Cards

Always have enough and carry in a case.

Should not be wrinkled, written on, outdated or dirty.

Present the card with the print facing the recipient.

Your name should be the largest print on the card.

Don’t write on business cards in front of others.

Don’t exchange business cards while dining.

Never pass them out like you are dealing cards.

It is polite to comment on card before putting it away rather than immediately stashing it in a pocket without looking at it

If someone offers you their business card, offer yours in return

Before offering your business card, first say, “May I give you my card?”

Do not force your card on anyone or offer it too early in a conversation

Let senior executives ask for your card. Do not offer it to them.

Meetings/Networking Events 

 It is polite to offer to pay if asked to a lunch/dinner meeting. However, whoever extends the invitation typically pays. 

Know why you are attending and who you want to meet. 

Bring business cards; Remember you represent your company. 

Do not carry a bag or notebook that fills your hands. 

Step to the right when you enter room, pausing to first observe.

Greet hosts first, if possible but do not monopolize their time. 

Introduce yourself to others, not just talking to people you know.

 Do not immediately head for the bar or food; don’t go hungry.

 Avoid foods that are messy or can’t be eaten in one bite. 

Hold food or drink in left hand to leave right hand open. 

Write a thank-you note within 24 hours. 

Work Relationships: 

Co-workers

Cooperate and develop a relationship of mutual support.

Focus on positive qualities and potential of co-workers (strengths, not weaknesses). 

Be friendly, but do not join a clique.

Spend time observing how people act, who performs well and who takes a positive view toward the job and organization. 

Beware of the gripers and avoid office gossip. 

Do not talk about co-workers behind their backs. 

Voice concerns, challenges and accomplishments.

 Remember that a peer may someday be your boss or you his. 

 Be nice, polite and friendly to everyone, including individuals who work outside of your department. 

Observe organization’s gift giving policy and be discreet when exchanging gifts if only exchanging with a few coworkers. Work Relationships: 

Supervisors 

 Approach tasks with a willing attitude. 

Enthusiastically complete “grunt” assignments. 

Demonstrate poise and maturity in everything you do. 

Ensure quality work is completed on-time. 

Supervisors are your ally, not your enemy. 

Supervisors train and develop; they aren’t best friends.

 Do not ask supervisor for personal and financial advice. 

 Cell Phones 

 Turn your phone off during meetings. 

Invest in a watch so you don’t check phone for time.

 Avoid answering in restaurants. If expecting important call, let those you are dining with know, and leave table to answer. 

In public, be aware of voice volume and move at least two arm lengths away from those around you (or out of the room). 

The people you are with should take precedence over calls. 

If you expect a call that can’t be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time.

Public phone conversations are not private. 

Email Etiquette 

 Craft a compelling subject line. 

Treat email like a business letter; always be professional. 

Keep it short and simple. 

Use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. 

Never send an email when you’re angry.

 Email is NOT confidential and can be forwarded. 

Read it and check your spelling before sending it. 

Confirm attachment you intended to attach is attached.

 Answer an email within 24 hours. 

 General Dining Etiquette 

Do not order foods that are eaten with your hands.

 Pass food from left to right (counterclockwise). 

If asked for the salt or pepper, pass both. 

 Never season food before tasting it. 

 Food is served from the left, dishes removed from the right. 

Butters, spreads or dips should be transferred to your serving dish before spreading or eating. 

Do not ask for a “to-go box” unless it is an informal situation.  

For hard to scoop items, use bread, not your finger, to push items onto fork.  

If hot food is burning mouth, discretely drink something cool.

 Napkins belong in your lap. 

If you leave table, loosely fold your napkin (do NOT refold your napkin or wad it up) and place it beside your dinner plate. 

Meeting materials or briefcases should be left under your chair until it is time to discuss business.  

Do not ask to taste or offer to let others taste your food. 

Do not blow nose at the table. Politely excuse yourself. 

Casual Dining Exceptions 

 You may order foods that are eaten with your hands. 

 When sharing chips and salsa, you don’t have to transfer salsa to your plate, but do not double dip.   

Leaving a Tip 

 Fifteen to 20 percent of the bill total is customary, but for exemplary service, a greater percentage is accepted. 

For poor service, ask to speak to the manager; still tip. 

Place Setting Tips 

 General rule: use silverware from outside in as meal progresses. 

When finished, do not push plate away. Instead place fork and knife across the center of the plate, handles to the right.

Between bites, your fork and knife are placed on the plate, handles to the right, not touching the table. 

1. Napkin

2. Salad Fork

3. Dinner fork

4. Dessert Utensil

5. Dinner Plate

6. Dinner Knife

7. Teaspoon

8. Bread Plate

9. Bitter Knife

10. Water glass

11. Wine Glass

Where are my lefties at?

Reblog if you’re left handed! ♡

i would love to know sm Spanol so that ad sing along to this song..

don be fooled though... i knw the lyrics to heart, jz don know what they mean.. :-P

Lord, Bless Me.

:-D I always want..

Reblog if you want a "why are you so..." in your ask.

“The rabbis of the Talmud used to go to great lengths to make themselves available to grant forgiveness to the people who had wronged them. They felt they couldn’t offer forgiveness until it was requested, because they were afraid to short-circuit the inner process of Teshuvah. They understood that in order for forgiveness to be complete, the person who had wronged them needed to arrive at the point of a sincere apology by his or her own inner process, and they didn’t want to interfere with this process. So if someone owed them an apology, they would hover around him constantly, both to remind him of what he had done and to be on hand to grant forgiveness the moment the person apologized. The rabbis recognized that forgiveness was a deep spiritual need for both parties. The wrongdoer needed to be cleansed of his wrongdoing and his guilt for it, and his victim needed to let go of the hot coal of anger he was holding on to. So the rabbis hovered around the people who had wronged them, so that both these needs could be met at the earliest possible moment.”

—

Alan Lew, This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation

shoutout to the most magnificently passive-aggressive power move ever recommended as spiritual practice