If I Was In The Bathroom Trap With Adam And He’s Asking If They Took His Kidneys I Would Ask “is

when ur fidgeting with a pen and it just flies fuckin. halfway across the room and you just try to pretend like you didn’t just launch a small projectile instead of writing notes with it like ur fukn supposed to do

he got a human smooch 😞

What I need is an enemy with benefits

I love daggers……and knives….. swords…..

a vampire stands on the front porch of a farmhouse and says “i cannot come in unless i am invited”. the vampires friend, a cowboy, says “cmon, you know youre always welcome here, partner.” the vampire begins crying.

http://grandenchanterfiona.tumblr.com/post/125317475373/kermit-the-frog-voice-sweet-mother-sweet

Let me just ask the police..

Reblog for good luck and Papa Nihil will visit you during the night while you slumber leaving Werther’s Originals underneath your pillow

my wet rat boy <3

the idea that humans are a garbage species is so obnoxious no one talks about the peaceful parts of history and prehistory because they aren’t as exciting as us killing each other but um homo sapiens have been doing awesome things all over for a long time….we survived the fucking ice age…we made it through the sinai desert….we shared the savana with big cats before we ever made a weapon, we wove baskets from literal plants and halved blades from flint to handles we made, carved harpoons from bone and fought megafauna for our loved ones, cooked food and took care of the elderly and buried our dead, painted pictures and shared stories, built homes from clay and mud and straw, made instruments so we could dance and sing…it is so easy to focus on the negative and i get it ok we are in the middle of a mass extinction event that specific humans are at fault for but listen: they don’t want you to remember it hasn’t always been like this…we were and are so much more than evil