This Is The Story Of How My Friend Charlie Ended Up With A Scar On His Penis.

This is the story of how my friend Charlie ended up with a scar on his penis.

First, he was at a jazz club. Jazz clubs are not inherently dangerous. At the jazz club he saw a girl with pink hair wearing a top hat. Girls with pink hair who wear top hats are also not inherently dangerous. She was extremely cute so he approached her to flirt and she was into that.

She was so into it that she invited Charlie back to her home. Things became amorous and Charlie was delighted when things took a turn in a blowjobly direction. That is, until he felt teeth.

He looked down as she looked up and there was blood dripping down her chin. She was also laughing. Charlie, in a great deal of pain, bleeding from a part of himself that boys never expect to bleed from, pushed her away and rushed to the bathroom.

The girl was then horrified and extremely apologetic, and rushed to get him gauze and bandages. I suspect she might have had the same nervous reaction as the time I accidentally stabbed a boy. Charlie was in shock but reluctantly accepted her offerings before getting the fuck out of dodge.

For years we speculated about why she’d bitten him. Was she a vampire? Was she on drugs? It was part of Charlie’s Lore that he’d had his penis bitten and was understandably wary of mouths now.

We assumed we’d never have a resolution. Which is why we were all surprised one night to get a text from Charlie. There she was. At the same late night local burger chain. He could finally get the closure he’d always wanted.

The girl recognized him instantly and began to profusely apologize. She explained that she had since been diagnosed as schizophrenic and bipolar but at the time she’d been completely unmedicated. She had always felt wretched about what had happened that night and couldn’t apologize enough.

Charlie accepted her apology but declined her hesitant invitation to find a quieter venue to catch up. One scar was enough for him. We were all elated to finally have peace, and closure. The penis bite was made explicable and we were satisfied.

But that’s not all, Charlie told us. Were we ready for the punchline? We waited. The restaurant they’d met at again, years later. Didn’t we want to know which one? Where they could finally bury the hatchet over their penis misadventure?

Where??? Where was it?

“Dicks”, he told us.

weirdest tabletop experience i ever had

be me in 2022

download a bundle of tabletop games at 3 am

find a giant pdf labeled "act one"

it's a game played by only exactly three people on different levels of reality.

you also play alternate universe versions of your characters on different levels in reality

secrets in the book are written in mirror writing

the whole book is an in-universe preserved text by someone in a different universe

i am so into this game.

best thing i've ever read.

i tell all my friends about it the next day.

"sounds cool, what's it called?"

i can find no evidence of this game.

i can find no evidence that this game ever existed.

i'm not even sure what bundle it was in.

all my friends develop the theory that this game is a dream i had.

they tease me about The Time Bird Dreamed An Entire TTRPG That Could Only Be Read In A Mirror

i find the game three years later

it's about dreams

anyway if you wished Invisible Sun was weirder you may enjoy Disparateum by Rathayibacter

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chronicwastingdeergirl

11 months ago

No more waiting, no more debating, go get your hrt. "I don't know if I'm really trans." You are. Now go. "I'm scared." We all were. Now go. "There's a long wait to be seen." Go get your name on that list then. Self medicate if you need. "What if my friends don't accept me?" They weren't your friends then, go. "What if my spouse doesn't accept me?" Get divorced. Now go. You do not need to continue to live in agony and depression to pretend to be someone else. Go get your hrt.

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chronicwastingdeergirl

2 months ago

they murdered the original version of this post but here, i cloned it so we can all still enjoy it

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chronicwastingdeergirl

3 months ago

Art by 冯伟 Feng Wei（c12）

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chronicwastingdeergirl

11 months ago

Posting all of the pills that make you green comics here now, enjoy? I guess?

regret rates

proof

talking points

you problem

owned

modern invention

unethical experiments

typology

think of the children

side effects

facts

making sense

rushing

drawings

research

this rocks

valid

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chronicwastingdeergirl

3 months ago

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chronicwastingdeergirl

4 months ago

How Equal Can A Society Be If Some Fundamentals Are Unusable By A Third Of The Population? You Can Learn

How equal can a society be if some fundamentals are unusable by a third of the population? You can learn a lot about a world by looking at the little details, especially in furry settings!

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chronicwastingdeergirl

4 months ago

I've Got A Lot Of Interest In Zombie Apocalypse Stories And How They Handle Depictions Of Grief And Mourning,

I've got a lot of interest in zombie apocalypse stories and how they handle depictions of grief and mourning, PLEASE EAT ME WHEN I DIE is my mini pitch idea about two sisters in a dead world.

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chronicwastingdeergirl

3 months ago