On The Page Right After Talking About Lowly Pages And Noble Lords, Caliborn Does Drop This Line Pretty

*rubs my greasy little hands together* time to get my ip address banned through sharing possibly my most disturbing headcanon heheheh

For a while, I was thinking about the jades. Specifically how damn weird Hiveswap's lore about them is. From very young, they're condemned to the caverns to help raise grubs... But only certain, arbitrarily selected jades are picked to be cloistered? So that means there are other jades allowed to do whatever. And instead of joining the workforce like literally every other troll, SPECIFICALLY the cloistered jades are sent to be space nuns, hidden from everyone. It... Doesn't really add up if you think about the kind of place the Alternian Empire is. They're all about making as many warriors as possible, why bother with a tradition like that? Doesn't help anyone. Just seems hard to imagine Meenah coddamn Peixes tossing funds to a useless sisterhood, is all I'm saying.

So! Mothergrubs. There's the headcanon that they share an evolutionary root with trolls to explain how they can produce grubs, but what if we go one step further? Let's say the trolls are neotenies (an "adult" species that actually has another stage of life past the one they're in, like axolotls). Perhaps once upon a time, they could turn into mothergrubs naturally, but for whatever reason, they can't now.

Or so it'd seem.

Uhh yeah tired of the suspense: the cloistered jades are "special" because they actually might possess the rare gene that turns trolls into Mothergrubs. So the space sisterhood? It's actually some Bloodborne shit. Horrific cult antics that literally strip away all personhood, in all meanings of the word, turning them into nothing more than slurry-processors to be sent back, furthering the troll race. Possibly a fate worse than death to some.

Idk. Figure it makes sense the Empire would keep that under wraps from the jades, y'dig

Blocked blocked blocked blocked i hate this

but honestly that's a really really interesting perspective because I do agree that the mothergrub is a troll. Just a different type of troll (much like if you were to look at the life cycle of a fern) so I think you hit some interesting points especially with the de-trollization of the mothergrub into something to be revered but never considered a troll, an equal

also here is the lifecycle of a fern for funsies (where the mothergrub is essentially the diploid phase and normal trolls are the haploid

What’s up, long time no see.

I’m probably not re-opening this blog (but shit’s wild out here these days, so who knows).

What I am doing, however, is giving you all my magnum opus:

Homestuck Aspects, But Fucky.

Are you sick of Aspect quizzes where the answer is weirdly self-evident and you feel a terrible compulsion to “aim” for you “preferred” aspect?

Well, motherfucker, have I got the quiz for you. Every single one of these “questions” is nonsense, every single answer is absurdity, and every single person I tested it on got the right aspect at the end.*

*My sample size was three people this is a meaningless claim.

Take the quiz at your leisure, and then when you’re done and remembering the Ancient Days of Quizilla where you got to see what all the personality types were at the end after getting yours?

Head on back to this post, where I am putting all 12 answers below this cut.

Keep reading

With homestuck being legal for 24 hours, I made aspect crowns or bracelets or something. These were fun

The Lands kind of stick out as an anomaly in Homestuck’s cosmology. They’re not constant, like Skaia and the Veil are; they’re not evolved through prototyping like imps and carapacians; they’re not drawn from mythology like the Denizens; and they’re not made from Thoughtstuff like Prospit and Derse. On a cursory glance they seem to be the one example of something being created ex nihilo in paradox space, a realm that is supposed to contain “essentially nothing new”. So naturally, figuring out the genesis of the Lands would be a great stride toward unlocking Homestuck as a whole.

Obviously the logical first assumption is that the Lands are generated from the players themselves somehow; grinding metal for the swordsman, industrial pipeworks for the pipe smoker’s heir; and this makes perfect sense for as long as we see Sburb as a game whose goal is to guide players into adulthood. But that’s only one side of the coin; every aspect of the game, from frog breeding to prototyping, should also serve the game’s other primary purpose, which is as reality’s method of reproduction. So the question “why are the Lands the way they are” is just as important as the “what are they” question.

My first hypothesis was that if every one of the Lands in the Medium has its own breed of frog, then this could be a means of introducing genetic diversity to the Genesis Frog; a frog with lava-resistant genes, for example, might make a very different to a frog with genes from the Land of Dew and Glass. But I realise now that we don’t even need to introduce this new idea; the grist hoards in the center of each planet already act as a unique genetic code for each session’s Frog.

And since the grist essentially acts as the “essence” of each planet - oil grist for an oil world, chalk grist for a chalk world - we can also view the grist as the “essence” of its associated Hero. This is more pronounced in the trolls’ grist, with Tavros’ grists being brown-orange and Vriska and Gamzee having blue and purple respectively in [S] Make her pay. (We also observe here that Karkat has green grist, but you can make of that what you will.)

And I think this sheds some further light on how the Ultimate Alchemy ties into the alchemy of the self; the process of creating a universe involves the very alchemical components that make up a person. Using one’s inner essence to create an entire world could also be seen as a way of making the internal, external?

So the genesis of a new universe is the contribution of several individuals’ essences to be mixed in one central subterranean hub… i.e. exactly how troll reproduction works, indicating that the jadeblood is suited to the role of frog breeder even moreso than may have originally been thought.

part of the universe's inherent cruelty that all the parts of being a grownup that you idolized as a kid are both the best and worst parts of adulthood

Literary Devices

Anonymous said:

(Me: sees your aspects as facets of reality theory and raises this: Aspects as elements of the story, Light as thematic importance (see aranea being aranea, vriska stealing importance and luck) Time as well pacing but also the timeline of a story. Ect ect       

YES!

YesYes!! YesYesYes ^u^ ^u^ ^u^

This is another Wonderful Frame for analyzing Homestuck, or thinking about the Aspects ^u^ The one thing I’d say is that while some –like Light, Time, Space, and Heart– are pretty directly and clearly related to literary concepts by the text, others are a bit more difficult to figure out; either because their representative characters get less “screen time”, or because the Literary Concepts the Aspect embodies are more esoteric and vague.

Like: I’ve always had a hard time figuring out what Life could represent in a Literary sense. Fef’s story is surrounded by all sorts of Fairy Tale tropes that she’s laser-focused on either escaping(her role as Princess) or subverting(bringing Sollux, her “Hero”, to life with a kiss, rather than the other way around), and Meenah was also focused on escaping and subverting the life planned for her, so THAT could possibly be Life’s Literary side: either subverting narrative, or the way characters can take on “a life of their own” when the author realizes they’d do C instead of the A they had planned for them, and how that can lead the plot in a whole different direction.

Blood’s another stumper for me in this regard …Though… taking a minute to think about it maybe it’s self-criticism? Like: Karkat is obvsl VERY self critical(in a way Kankri very much is not) but both of them are super-critical of the story-itself and the world Hussie, as author, has set it in. So you could think of Blood as being the Critical or Editorial Impulse? MAYBE??

And Breath’s a good example of an esoteric one. While John’s the protagonist, people are constantly telling him what to do in the narrative, and outside of it through the prompt(at least early in HS), so he’s rarely ever deciding anything for himself. His actions drive the story, but his actions aren’t “his”, so what exactly would that make Breath? Plot? Protagonists&Characters?? Is it something simpler and more obvs like Adventure Game Narratives??? Does it include all of these, or is it one thing that covers all of them?x4 Considering Rufioh with John, something you might call “The Irony of Protagonists” seem rather central to whatever Breath is: on the one hand they’re the “hero” of the story and their actions drive the plot; but on the other that also makes them the most controlled, puppeted, plot-significant, and thus least realistic&”free”, of all the characters in the story.

Rufioh(through many years of bad memory, obvsl, so maybe I’m misrepping this) was the center of the primary romantic drama in his Session(which in turn drove the Session), and many of his fellow Players either pursued him, or openly professed their attraction to him. In this respect, they saw him as sort of like the Protagonist of a Dating Sim. Seeing him as attractive they saw him as confident and a player; they cast a particular narrative and identity onto him based on their perspective of him. But that’s not how Rufioh experienced any of those events, or indeed his life. He felt powerless and disrespected throughout; pulled one way then another by both Horuss and Damara, constantly uncomfortable with the desires others expressed for him(and the disinterest of everyone in what he wanted), trapped by his social situation into conditions and roles he never really wanted, and always betraying himself and his own feelings through his lack of confidence, and the inability to take a stand it created. Even thousands and thousands of years later his friends are STILL giving him agency for events he felt were forced on him against his will, and casually hitting on him despite his clear discomfort with it seen in Meenah’s walkaround. So, while he is defined as the “Protagonist” of his story according to those “reading” and telling it, he felt like all he ever did was just what other people told him to do, and chafes against the identity others have forced on him, which he has no control over. In this respect, he experienced all of that as a “Target” of a Dating-Sim; to be dated and wooed, but with no agency of his own.

While much more extreme(and negative), that experience shares some notable qualities with John’s. It suggests that Breath might be “The Illusion of Freedom” literary characters have, and Rufioh’s story suggests audience collaboration is a pivotal aspect of this illusion.

Wow, that kinda got a bit grim, didn’t it |:T |:T

to read a more traditionalist classpect interpretation into the streets/lawnrings parallel construction, wind (read: breath) skimming the streets implies freedom of movement, wherewas blood would imply restriction; maybe the word ‘lawnring’ is used in place of ‘street’ in much the same way ‘cocoon’ replaces ‘mailbox’; because trolls don’t have streets, and the lawnrings are representative of a more oppressive culture with an interest in keeping its people where they are

heir of time or prince of mind?

Daily 6 - Prince of Mind

Cut content

The following content was cut from the essay DOOM for purposes of thematic consistency (that is, it didn’t add much to the reader’s understanding of the Doom Aspect’s symbolism) but is preserved here for posterity.

Mental illness

It takes a certain kind of person to bear up under all this pressure. Sollux’s visions, at one point likened to a chronic pain condition, leave him fatalistic and irritable, with a temperament that can change from calm to angry, from proud to self-recriminating, in an instant. Accordingly, the narration dubs him bipolar. This is precisely backwards. While Sollux’s fatalism is reminiscent of depression, the key characteristic of depression is listlessness, a lack of feeling and motivation, and Sollux is anything but unmotivated. Similarly, though mania (and the less well known hypomania) can take many forms, it is most commonly associated with a feeling of euphoric joy, another trait largely absent from Sollux’s emotional makeup.

More importantly, bipolar mood swings are measured in days, not instants. Because of this, it is actually impossible for a story that packs nearly all of its action into discrete segments of no more than 24 hours to convey the full experience of bipolarity in any meaningful way. Ultimately, Homestuck is a work designed to challenge both reader and author, and with that challenge unfortunately comes the possibility of failure.

Mituna continues this theme of authorial challenge. Like most of the dancestors, he is presented first as a joke, a mockery of the psychologically disabled, the full weight of his story and sacrifice only reluctantly hinted at by Aranea after the fact. He is part of the Hussnasty Hell (medium link), a complex, artistically lofty experiment that by design can be very difficult to properly digest after enduring the bitter, unpleasant first bite.

If Maids are creators, and Hope is associated with positive emotions, could a Maid of Hope have the power to summon a laugh track whenever they wanted?

Rule of Thumb: It's ALWAYS correct to use Classpect Powers for bad puns, references, and dumb jokes. 👀