Latest Posts by cleelczipsybane - Page 4

WLC 3.9: BLOOD

"What do I do? What do I do? What do I do I do?" chants Gank, walking in place. The unconscious child on the floor continues to bleed from her arms in front of Gank. "Right, blood. I have to stop the blood," she says to herself.

Gank begins running around the room looking for anything that could help her situation. As she paces about, she licks the blood from her own claws.

J: I can see you struggling to keep your mouth shut, Mum. L: I wasn't saying anything.

"Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?" Gank searches frantically for the salve she knows is somewhere in this room. "I know ya keep it somewhere here; ya suck at healing, mom." She spots a box sitting beside a shelf, and throws it open. "Jackpot."

The box contains potions, powdered medical herbs, and other supplies. "I'm going to get caught the next time she checks this thing." She grabs the salve and a towel and races back to the bleeding child.

J: Why didn't you grab the potion? G: You were bleeding; I was panicking. L: She was, like, fourteen.

Gank slathers it over Jevoi's arms, desperately trying not to cut her further. She then wraps the towel around the limbs and pushes gently on them. She feels the slowing rhythm of Jevoi's heart.

"I think this was how it worked. How'ya feeling?" she asks and receives no answer. "Yeah. That makes sense." She looks at the blood drying on the floor and has an idea.

Dipping her claw in the blood, Gank begins painting a magic circle around Jevoi. "It's like this, and this," she says to herself. Her claws shaking, she manages to etch the runes she knows. "Okay, okay, okay." She slaps the circle, the spirits of the cave answer the call and pulse life through Jevoi's body.

"All I have to do now is..." Gank looks at the bloody evidence still around here. She sighs.

Gank begins licking the blood off the floo-

D&J: EUAGH L: Why? G: Ya don't have room to judge me. I know where ya put your tongue. J: No, eeegh.

To repeat: Gank begins licking the blood off the floor and a primal urge rises within her. The soft meat of a helpless animal is right there. It must taste so good. A rare cut from so far away.

"No, focus." Gank throws those thoughts away and keeps at the floor.

L: So, on the topic of rituals: outside we were blessing the land.

MKDA has my favorite take on Reptile, even if it's because he was literally going insane.

I miss pirate Nitara too. There's absolutely room in MK for a pirate.

Vampires of the DA era are of impressive size.

WLC 3.8-1: Intermission

The three geckos remain sitting around the old brick house. The empress on her conjured throne, her daughter on the conjured stool, and her mother, the wizard, on her molded dirt chair.

"So, what happened next?" asks Dalini, "What did Gank do?"

Ling tips the brim of her violet wizard hat up to eye her daughter. "Yeah," she asks in a mock tone, "Who can continue the yarn?"

Jevoi rolls her eyes, "Oh, that would be-"

"ME!" yells a specter bursting out of Jevoi's body. The ghost of a four-armed lizard woman leaps into Dalini's face.

"A GHOST!" shrieks Dalini, running out of the room, crying.

"Gank!" yells Jevoi, "You said you were going to do something cool."

"That was cool," says Gank, floating back to Jevoi, "Look."

The adults peer over to Dalini hiding behind the doorframe. The young gecko is shivering in her tattered brown dress.

"No, Gank," says Jevoi, "What would have been cool was you saying, 'Hey,' from the doorway or while sitting next to her. Walking up from the wrong angle. We've been over this."

"I saw an opportunity and I took it," says Gank, crossing all of her arms smugly.

"Gank?" asks Dalini, slowly sneaking back to the group, "You're her friend?" Dalini looks the ghastly charda up and down. "Are you dead? ...Are you my other mother?"

"Yes. Yes," Gank says with a nod, "And NO." Firm head shake. "Your mom's already told you where she is. D'ya forget?"

"Why were you in my mum?" ask Dalini.

"That's where she lives now," says Ling. She waves to Gank, "How's unlife in my daughter treating ya? Speaking of, how's the missus feel 'bout it? Sharing her wife's a**e?"

"This is not an appropriate topic," says Jevoi, raising her hands in offense, "For several reasons, Mum."

"Same old, same old, Doc. Ling," says Gank, "And that's not a problem since-"

"STOP!" says Jevoi, clamping Gank's ghost mouth shut, "We're not talking about this!" She points at Ling. "You are the worst."

"So, what happened when you beat up my mum?" asks Dalini, now on the stool again.

"Yes, continue the story," says Jevoi, sitting down, "Please, anything else, right now."

WLC 3.8: Children with Knives

J: Let's not forget whose story this is.

The training room is much larger than Jevoi had been expecting. Numerous training targets of various sizes stand around the spacious chamber. Along the walls, several weapons (swords, axes, polearms) are kept sorted in stands. A few grindstones sit next to shelves of materials and a small forge in the corner.

Jevoi's eyes dart across the room; scanning the weapons, she finds her target: knives, daggers. Little blades that can fit in little hands. Her hands. She rushes to them and begins testing their handles. Forward, backward, reverse-grip. She has to find one that fits.

"Oh, ya're into this," says Gank with a smile, "Anything clicking?"

Jevoi stops, holding one sleek dagger in her hand. "YES," she exhales, swinging the runic blade a few times, listening to it sing as it cuts through the air, "Perfect."

"D'ya think?" asks Gank, she points to a humanoid dummy, "Go on, then. Give it a whirl."

The little gecko walks around the dummy and slices at it. The blade cleanly cuts through its soft plant-like material. Jevoi coos at the damage, but the gasps in realization.

"Don't worry," says Gank, as the dummy stitches itself back together, "Nobody'll see nothing."

Jevoi licks her eyes and stabs the dummy as many times as she can, as fast as she can. She twists the blade and begins slashing wildly into it, desperate to outpace the regeneration.

"Okay, slow down," laughs Gank as she walks up to another one, "Let me ya how the big girls do it!" Gank unfurls her claws dramatically and swipes at the dummy in a practiced concert of blows. Her four arms tear, rip, and shred it that it flops about as if it were alive. She throws in a few twirling slashes and kicks as well.

"That's not fair," says Jevoi, "You've got four arms."

"Sorry," says Gank, her tongue hanging from her mouth, "But that's why I'm a warrior and ya're just a rogue."

"Oh yeah?" says Jevoi, running back to the daggers, "I'll show you." She grabs another and racing toward another dummy.

Gank's slit eyes widen. "Woah, kid, wait, no," she steps in front of Jevoi, "If ya get hurt, I'm getting in trouble. Put that one back."

"You don't get to call me a kid," says Jevoi, she looks at her weapons, then up at Gank, "Try and take them!"

L: Trouble from day one.

The developing rational part of Gank's brain attempts to conjure a means of handling this situation. Unfortunately, the emotional threat to her ego prevents the teenager from having any ideas more complicated than, 'Take them.' Some may also claim that her species, hard-wired for a short life of constant violence, may also be a factor in this spur-of-the-moment decision, but that hypothesis's largely irrelevant when faced with the far more accepted theory:

L: Kids are so f*****g stupid.

Gank suddenly lunges at Jevoi, who reflexively holds the blades in front of her. Gank grabs onto Jevoi's wrists, but the gecko squirms and the weapons come dangerously close to the charda's face.

"Let go!" yells Gank.

"Make me!" yells Jevoi. She kicks Gank in the groin. Both girls gasp in pain and Jevoi almost loses balance.

"Why would'ya do that?" says Gank, she then kicks Jevoi right back, "How d'ya like it?"

Jevoi emits a long squeak, but continues struggling to pull her hands out of Gank's claws. Blood begins dripping down both of their arms.

Gank bends her empty hands inward and uses the back of her wrists to slap Jevoi's face and punch her in the gut. "LET!" Hit. "GO!" Slap. "OF!" Knee. "THE!" Clunk. "KNIVES!" Punch.

"Noooo," squeals Jevoi weakly. One blade hits the floor, but she her grip on the other. She shoves her bloody hand into Gank's face, feebly slapping her. "Let me go."

The last thing Jevoi hears before passing out is Gank's desperate voice repeating, "Oh s***e!"

WLC 3.7: Gish Gets to Do Something Cool

Gash opens a portal to the edge of the cave and Gish helps him drag the trolley of salt through.

L: Once they crossed over, I had to have faith in them. That's all I could do.

"Now what?" he asks, "Do we drag it around the cave? You think there's enough salt to go the whole way."

"Probably not if we're just pouring it," says his sister, "But I've got an idea." The worms nearest to them begin oozing in their direction. "You protect the salt; I'll make the circle."

Gish draws her scimitar and channels energy through the blade. She reverses her grip and runs, dragging the blade through the ground behind her. As she races around the edge, the worms from the mass launch their bile from the sky. Gish deflects the few in her path with a small energy shield and keeps moving.

Ahead of her, more worms crawl forth to block her path with mouths wide open. Gish channels energy through her gauntlet and punches blasts of energy right into the open maws. "Get!" Fire. "Out!" Acid. "Of!" Ice. "My!" Lightning. "Way!" Sound. The energy attacks stream out from her fist and explode inside of each target, disorienting them.

L: Gish once taught me her 'Five Fist Power Punch'. D: What's that have to do with the salt? L: I just mean, I knew she could defend herself.

As she continues to run, she thinks hard. What does she have that could draw attention away from herself? ...Herself? That could be it. She reaches into her shadow, faint as it is in the dim cave, and rips it out of the wall. In an instant, her shadow multiplies and scatter about; each 'her' racing off in a different direction, leading most worms away.

The majority of the undead horde's attention remains on the tower and its defenders, witnessing the desperate flinging of spells infuriates the tallgoblin. She has to work faster, she has to BE faster. She channels more energy into her legs, Stomping up a storm, ripping through the ground, leaving a trail of flame behind her, Gish pushes herself as far as she can.

She can see her brother's position again. He swings his axe, launching cleaving waves through the cretins approaching him. More crawl over their writhing split open brothers and some attempt to burrow under them; the latter being stopped by the metal plating that has covered the ground in Gash's location. There's still enough room behind it for Gash to complete the almost-circle.

As she approaches, another worm lunges for her. She pulls a pillar of earth up into it, the force flinging it head over tail back where it came from.

Gish keeps running, dragging her blade to complete the loop. As her blade reconnects with its starting point, she stumbles, trips, and rolls along the ground.

"Gish!" yells her brother, "Are-"

"DO IT NOW!" yells Gish.

Gash stabs open the bag of salt and as the salt pours into the crack in the ground, he enchants it into a two-headed snake. The senseless salt serpents separate and slither through the scar, spreading symmetrically around the circumference. As it flows, Gash screams a forceful wail at the worms still attempting to navigate the still-living (unliving?) wall, pushing them back off.

Gish stands and opens a portal back to the tower. The duo fling themselves back through and yell, "Circle's ready, Boss!"

L: I don't how they did it, but they ran like the clappers to get it done.

It definitely sells her animal tamer role.

Her outfit in the latest episode is so 🔥🔥🔥 I had to make a drawing!

WLC 3.6: A Mother's Rage

Outside of the tower, the spellcasters continue to hold off the undead tide.

"Don't you have anything more offensive, Ling?" asks Oighrig, still floating, still maintaining a barrier above, and now gesturing to have her storm spider rain acid spiders onto the mass.

L: What she was attempting to do was have her acid react to the basic bile of some of the worms, but basic worm bile was pretty rare.

"Sorry," says Ling, sarcasm dripping from the word, "I was told to prepare for an ecological disaster, NOT AN UNDEAD ABOMY!"

Melandria winces, "I mean, it's both of those things..."

"Would have been great to know before I brought my daughter down here," yells Ling, conjuring a giant lemon inside of the wormsworn, "Thought it was just going to be some sick plants or the mold flood came back, but no, it's zombie wormageddon." The lemon explodes. "And then ya've got the nerve to talk about my mum."

"What is wrong with your daughter wanting to know her grandmother?" asks Melandria, her shadow arms fling several worms on the ground into the air.

"My mum's a f******g assassin, Mel," says Ling. She slaps the earth and the worms attempting to burrow under the teeth wall turn to solid stone. "She has killed a s***eton of people. Why do think she moved from the surface?"

"Is this really the right time for this?" ask Oighrig, as she and her storm spider launch bolts of lightning into the airborne worms.

"The sun'll go cold before I let my daughter go down that path!" says Ling.

L: Didn't mean that literally, but good work making it true, Jevoi. Guess I can't stop ya from living your dream now. J: At this point, assassin is a step down, but thanks so much for your permission, Mum.

"I am almost out of things to throw at this," says Oighrig, conjuring a web to trap more worms attempting to burrow.

"Mel, don't ya have another Dark Hole?" asks Ling, conjuring a phantom chef that slices, dices, and juliennes several worms.

"I'm running on empty now, too, Ling," says Melandria, her shadow arms skewering worms onto adamantine spears, "Killing the previous ones took too much out of me."

"How many of these things have you fought today!?"

"This is the fifth," says Oighrig, continuing to order her storm spider's blitz.

"Why did ya wait this late to call me?"

"I thought we could handle this," says Melandria, her shadow arms grabbing and tearing the worms open, "I wasn't expecting it to be this incessant."

"I'ma kick your sexy a**e, Mel!" yells Ling, "If it's not dead the third time ya kill it, it's not staying dead!" Gravity reverses for a group of worms and they are brought helplessly up to the phantom chef's cutting zone. "I'm going to make ya watch me destroy Oighrig."

"What did I do?" asks Oighrig, almost taking her eyes off her spider.

"No, positively!" says Ling, "Ya're doing lovely! Keep not-f*****g-up!"

"Boss, we've got the salt!" says Gish and Gash, hauling a large bag on a makeshift trolley.

"Gash, I'ma kick your a**e, too!" says Ling, pulling a book out of pouch, "I gave you one b****y job, you b******d!" She has the book turn itself to the right page. "F**k it, Gish, help your idiot brother make a salt circle around the entire cave."

"The entire cave?" asks Gish, "You cannot be serious."

"Ya heard me!" says Ling, inducing a relative increase in speed to the group, "We need to sanctify this entire place."

WLC 3.5: Gank's for the Memories

"Go on," says Gash, pushing Jevoi into the room, "Say 'hello.'"

Jevoi freezes; the older reptilian's eyes stare into her. Gank puts her tome down and slides off the side of the bed and slowly walks toward Jevoi.

"Hello, there, pinky," says Gank. She turns her attention to the tallgoblin, "Shouldn't you be helping your boss, old man?"

"Boss said-" Another explosion and Melandria's voice echo up the tower interrupting Gash. "On second thought, keep an eye on Ling's kid." He leans down to Jevoi and asks, "Are you going to be okay?"

Jevoi nods and Gash takes off back toward the stairs.

L: To be fair, we were just about to call him back anyway.

Gank quickly slams the door shut and turns to Jevoi. "Alright, pinky let's play a little game." She grabs the gecko by the shoulders with one set of claws and the waist with the other, and sets her on the bed. "I know your weird mom can regrow her limbs," she says with a smile. Her three rows of sharp teeth shining in the low light. "Let's see if you can do it, too." Jevoi continues to stare into Gank's eyes, transfixed. Gank hesitates. "Aren't you scared, pinky?"

Jevoi's voice squeaks out, "You're so cool."

"No fear at all," says Gank, "You're as weird as your mom."

"No, I'm not," says Jevoi, snapping out of her enamoration, "She keeps bringing women home and putting them in her bed." Jevoi looks to her side. "You put me in your bed; you're the weird one."

"I'm going to eat you," says Gank, bluntly.

"She says things like that, too," says Jevoi, equally blunt.

L: When have I ever said that.

D: You said that to that lady who needed a new arm last week.

L: That- Th- Nevermind it.

Gank pushes herself off the bed. "You're funny, pinky," she says, "What's your name?"

"I'm Jevoi." She sits up and spots Gank's tome. "What were you reading?"

"Just magic rituals," says Gank, trying to be cool and aloof, "Old man says I have to learn something here and this is the least boring thing they've got."

"Mum wants me to study magic too," says Jevoi, "But all she has is her dumb plants and animals. I want to learn blades."

An idea worms its way into Gank's brain. "Blades, huh?" she says, "I know where my 'mom'-" Airquotes. "-keeps her swords." She leans toward Jevoi with a coy smile. "Want to see them?"

"YES!" Jevoi jumps off the bed and almost into Gank's naturally armored face.

L: Reminder: I was fighting the abomy outside.

J: And?

L: I just think Dalini would like to know the other side of this.

J: Fine, make it quick.

WLC 3.4: Up to Gank

Gash leads Jevoi up the stairs to the safest part of the tower, behind the shell of the Tarasque. Feeling her bitterness of being led away, he asks, "Who is your 'nana'?"

"You really want to know?" Jevoi's voice is sudden and loud. "Nana Ning's the coolest. She's super-fast and has all of the knives."

"Is that so?" asks Gash, looking over his shoulder, "What can she do with them?"

"She's a super sneaky acrobat and kills bad guys," says Jevoi running ahead of Gash, "I want to be just like her!" She turns back toward him. "But Mum hates Nana, she'll never let me."

"Yeah, I get it," says Gash, "My ma was against me learning magic." He manifests and twirls a knife before banishing it.

"But you did anyway?" asks Jevoi looking up into his eyes, "How did ya do it?"

Gash hesitates, but decides to answer, "My sister and I ran away from home."

L: I'ma kill him.

"But you shouldn't."

"Why not?" whines Jevoi.

"Your ma's a wizard; she'll catch you," he leans down and whispers, "So you should study all her tricks first; that way she can't catch you." He stands up and continues on as roaring and explosions occur in the distance.

L: Death threat rescinded.

Jevoi gasps, "You're really smart, Mr. Gash!"

Gash laughs, "That's why Boss Mel trusts me. Now right through here is Gank."

"Who's she?" asks Jevoi, as further explosions sound from outside.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" He opens a door, and says, "Hey, Gank, got someone for you to meet."

The bedroom's walls are decorated with stars and crescents. The plum bed is almost as big as Ling's. Lying on the bed, idly kicking her feet and reading a large tome is a teenage reptilian with a spiky armored body and four clawed arms. She's wearing a black wig with a magenta stripe in its bangs and tiny black trunks.

D: Is that why you wear that wig? J: It looks great, right?

Jevoi hides behind Gash's leg, too nervous to approach.

"What d'ya want, old man?" asks Gank. She looks up from her book. "Need me to babysit for ya?"

WLC 3.3: Wormsworn

The mass of undead giant worms continues to grow. Bile pours out, sliding down their sides and pooling on the ground.

Melandria raises her hand to the abomination and yells, "BEGONE!" Suddenly, half of the mass is ripped into a black void. The remainder force their way free.

L: She called that spell 'Dark Hole'.

"So cool," says Jevoi. She turns to the Shadow Queen, "Sorceresses are so cool!"

"Child, it is not safe here," says Melandria, "Please, go back inside."

Jevoi grabs onto Melandria's dress, "Tell me how to do that!"

"I promise to later."

Above them a translucent barrier forms blocking bile being launched at the group. Oighrig yells at the worms.

J: I didn't speak Vrow, but I assume she was cursing at them.

"That's what Nana Ning said, too," pouts Jevoi, "Mum won't let her teach me."

"If you work hard," says Melandria, disintegrating a line of worms, "You'll be able to be whatever you want."

"Mel, stop," yells Ling, "Don't encourage her." Ling gestures and the ravaged crops begin wrapping around the worms on the ground.

Melandria is so confused that she cannot respond.

"We're not talking about my mum now," says Ling, blasting a bolt of magic that transforms one worm into a still writhing giant carrot; it's companions immediately begin eating it alive.

J: You never let Ning teach me anything. L: Think hard, Jevoi, why'd that be. J: I only saw her twice before she died, Mum. L: Is that why ya're obsessed with her? D: Can we get back to the story? L: Right. Also, that spell's 'Veggification'.

"Boss!" A pair of armored tallgoblins step out from the tower with weapons drawn, "Give us your order!"

"Gish," yells Ling, raising a wall of large blunt teeth covered in smaller sharper teeth to hold off the tide of zombie worms dropping off the damaged mass, "Where's your salt? Get me all of it! Gash, watch my kid!" Melandria's shadow arms raise out of the gaps and begin forcibly grinding the worms against the teeth.

"Yes, Ma'am!" says Gish, racing back into the tower as Oighrig conjures a massive storm cloud spider. It magnetizes several worms out of the mass and pulls them into its mouth, electrocuting them all the while.

"Why me?" asks Gash, launching a flaming boulder over the wall.

L: Dental Palisade, Conjure Storm Spider (not to be confused with Conjure Spider Storm), and... er, Big Flame Rock. J: Goblins tend to be straight forward.

"We need someone to protect the-" Melandria taps the side of her head, "Idea: take her to meet Gank. Then you can keep them both safe while we get this under control."

"Understood, Boss!" says Gash, sheathing his weapon, "With me," he says to Jevoi.

"Fiiiine," says the child.

WLC 3.2: Fast Travel

Ling quickly throws on her robe and wizard hat. "Get your stuff, kid," she says, "We're going out."

Jevoi grumbles, but pulls a pink tunic out of the dresser which it was hanging out of.

"You're bringing her?" asks Melandria, "Into the Underdank?"

"It'll be fine," says Ling, "We're with ya." Out of the corner of her eye, she spies Jevoi picking up a knife from the counter. "Ya don't need that."

Jevoi mutters to herself and puts it back. Ling and Melandria reenter the main room and the group stand in a circle.

L: Is it really a circle with three people? J: Fine, we stood in a triangle.

Melandria's dark aura swallows the geckos and the group are shunted through the earth. In a manner of seconds, the group arrives in the parlor of Melandria's castle.

The trio stand in the teleportation circle in the center of the room. The walls display banners of Melandria's silhouette in various poses. A few black leather benches set along opposing walls with grand doors on the other pair.

A Vrow sorceress is waiting for the group. Her left arm is incorporeal and her left eye is a spark in a dark void. Her attire is immediately recognizable to Ling, nostalgic even.

"Oighrig," says Melandria, "Has it returned?"

"Thankfully not, Your Darkness," says Oighrig with a bow, "Ah, great wizard Ling, thank you for coming."

As Ling talks with Oighrig, Melandria turns her attention to the upset little gecko. "Are you alright? That wasn't scary was it."

"Are you another wizard?" asks Jevoi, bluntly.

"Not exactly," says Melandria, "I'm a sorceress."

"What's the differ-"

L: Wizards study magic; sorceresses are given it free. J: Sorceresses create magic; wizards copy it. L: Ya stole your power; ya didn't create s***e. J: Language, Mum!

"Well, if ya've already killed it," yells Ling, "Then why the house call?"

"Because it keeps coming back," says Oighrig, "And we still don't know what it even is." She contorts her phantom limb into a hydra. "It's a massive-"

Suddenly the earth quakes, the tower vibrates from the force outside.

"Good timing," says Ling, as she charges out the door and kicks it open. The stench of death is immediate and overwhelming.

"That is unnecessary, Ling," says Melandria, racing behind her with Oighrig and Jevoi on her rear.

The women look out to the writhing mass of worms pouring into the cave crushing the ravaged farmland. Each worm large enough to swallow a person whole. The infestation blocks out the crystal "stars" in the ceiling.

"How in f'ell!?" yells Ling, "Is that a b****y warsworn!?"

"Giant worm!" yells Jevoi, ecstatic.

WLC 3.1: By Dawn's Early Plight

Melandria, the Shadow Queen, oozes out of the darkness into the sleeping town of Rankedge. The sun, what the Inner Glowians call that weird rock floating in the center of the planet, shines its light on the lands to the east. No matter how many times she sees this inner world it still unnerves her; the bending of the land into such an unnatural state.

The goblin town has recovered since last she was here, but one building is largely unchanged: Dr. Ling's brutalist brick apothecary. The placards on the side identify it as the Wizard Lizard's Pharm.; they also direct people seeking the Lizard Wizard, Lang Cantor, to the other side of town, by the Gizzard King, a local restaurant.

Melandria, as beautifully dressed as ever, takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. While she waits, she looks about the empty roads, at the the simple stone huts that line this side of town. Her mind drifts into nostalgia, only to be pried back to reality by the sound of the door unlocking.

The door creaks open and a child peers out. The little gecko, almost a miniature Ling wearing a pink smock, stares at Melandria for a second, then says, "Mum's not home." She closes the door suddenly.

J: The end. D: What that's it? J: I'm kidding. There's more.

Melandria knocks on the door again. When the little one opens it again, the darkness grabs it and holds it open.

"Let's try this again," says Melandria, "I am the Shadow Queen and I am looking for Dr. Ling, who I assume is your mother."

"Yes," says the gecko puffing out her cheeks, "She's not here."

"Then, where is she?"

"Get out of my house."

Melandria conjures her magic orb, black like all her things, to her hand. She calls Ling and hears a faint buzzing come from within the house. "Did she leave her orb here?" asks Melandria, pushing her way into the building. "Ling, I need you."

The apothecary is in a sorry state. Contraptions of various types line walls, while a cluttered counter blocks the way into the backroom. The backdoor is actually several threads of beads. A small hammock hangs near a messy dresser in the corner.

"Get out of my house," says the gecko, "You, big titty w***e."

"Child," gasps Melandria, " Where did you learn that word? You shouldn't say things like that."

"Jevoi, what's that racket?" calls a groggy voice from the backroom.

"Ling, it is I," says Melandria, "The Shadow Queen."

"Bl'ell, Mel," says Ling, audibly rummaging around the other room, "Why didn't ya just call?"

"I did," says Melandria firmly, "Several times." She enters the backroom.

The super king sized bed takes up most of the room. It's blankets are crumpled to the side and the pillows are scattered. There are a ludicrous number of shelves along the walls, most of them supporting water bottles. So many water bottles. The rest of the shelves hold an assortment of wands, amulets, scrolls, and books. There is a second door in this room with a plush alligator sitting over it.

Ling is sitting naked on the side of her bed, flicking her magic orb. "What's the problem?" she asks without taking her eyes off it, "So I can prepare."

"Ecological disaster."

Thinking about Writing

I don't know how many people are actually reading this dumb lizard story, but I'm having fun writing it, improv-ing it one day at a time. I already know the main beat of Chapter 3: How Li'l Jevoi Met the Shadow Queen.

WLC 2.F: Quest Complete

Ling follows Melandria through the dark and hollow castle. "So new idea: the sand outside is hot, so maybe we can try to create geothermal plants. I'll need to bring water, unless ya know of any sources down here."

Melandria shakes her head. "Just using magic. That's not dangerous, is it? Like the food?"

"Standard create water spells just convert vapor into liquid, safe to drink." Ling's eye light up. "A gate to the the Plane of Water! That's what we could use."

J: You were just filled with fantastic ideas, weren't you, Mum? L: Seems like it runs in the family.

As the two climb the stairs, Melandria asks, "Aren't elementals... extremely territorial?"

"Don't worry 'bout that," laughs Ling, "I know a girl." Ling straightens up. "The real probo is how the wildlife'll be affected. We'd need to raise natural defenses alongside anything we're growing." Ling thinks for a moment. "Thrashing worm-eaters might be a good deterrent."

"Giant worms do pass through this desert," Melandria nods. She leads Ling into a corridor. "We'll have to give this more thought. First, let's get everyone together."

Melandria knocks on a door. "Kirono, are you awake?" There is no answer. "Kirono, are you feeling well?"

L: Since I wasn't sure if Maraja had left already, I decided to use my wizardly cunning.

Ling stumbles into the door, pushing it open. "Oops, sorry, mate," she says, "I'm a clumsy b******d." Her eyes spy two figures lying in the bed. She recognizes one of them. "Good onya, Maraja!" she says too loudly, "I knew ya'd root her out."

"Who is that?" shouted the Shadow Queen, the darkness around her agitating, "Why is she in my house!?" Her fury awakening the duo.

L: I calmed her down and we sorted the details out for the plan later, but that's a yarn for another time. D: So Maraja and Kirono got together and you started a farm with a queen? J: Yes, yes, everyone lived happily ever after. The End. Now, how about I tell you a story, Dalini: a story about how I met the Shadow Queen. D: But what happened to the priestess and the tallgoblins. L: Kalyani went back home- J: And the tallgoblins are in my story.

Does that make the twins a pair of sneasels?

Sneasler + Hsien-Ko

Look at this happy little thing.

wizard lizard

WLC 2.E: Only Human

"Never met a human before," says Ling, "Did ya come down here yourself?"

Melandria nods, still eating.

"Why'd ya do it? How'd ya do it?"

Melandria finishes the potato. "I needed to get away," she says, opening her arms wide, "As you can see, I'm a freak."

"I don't see it," says Ling, "I just see a woman tired of being treated like s***e. Not particularly uncommon."

"Darkness flows through me," says Melandria as the distant shadows over the room flare up, "I belong to the depths, unfettered by the physical world."

L: Or would that flare down?

J: Don't overthink it, Mum.

"Don't cut yourself on that edge, mate," says Ling, walking about to inspect the throne, "'Sides, ya're a queen; ya've got people that like ya."

"Three people," says Melandria, somberly, then her voice picks back up, "Maybe four?"

"Three?" Ling turns suddenly. "How are you a queen with only three subjects?"

"I'm not," says Melandria, "The Shadow Queen is just a cool title. I control literal darkness; I am the queen of shadows. No one lives in this underground sandpit."

Ling throws her arms into the air. "Brilliant," she says, "B****y brilliant." She begins walking toward the door.

"Wait," says Melandria, "I still want to know about this business idea you had."

Ling turns back to the not-actually-a-queen. "I'm researching how to grow food in the Underdank, but-"

Melandria's red eyes light up. "Then I would love to help!" She sways to the side and mutters to herself, "A chance to prove I'm not a monster."

"Ya're not a monster," says Ling, "Your body doesn't define ya."

"You don't know what they called me on the surface."

"And ya don't know what they called me at school."

D: What did they call you at school?

L: Ya don't need to know that.

"Still," says Melandria, racing over to Ling, "I won't take 'no' for an answer." She puffs out her chest. "My appearance is how I'm judged down here too; I had to work myself back up to monster. The orcs, the Vrow, I'm an object to them."

Ling nods. "I may not look it," she says, licking her eyes, "But I have a similar rep. 'DuMb LiZaRd BrAiN.'"

"Was that your school name?" Melandria opens the door into the foyer and leads out.

"I worked myself up to the bad one," smugly says Ling, following, "How'd ya think I got in here? Speaking of: ya've got two tallgoblins working for ya, so who's the third?"

"An extremely encouraging young woman," says Melandria with a smile, "Named Kirono."

WLC 2.D: The Shadow Queen

A few hours after having entered the tower, Ling realizes that her split party never established an exit strategy, nor a means of communication. For a wizard, this is an embarrassing oversight.

Getting her things together, Ling attempts to sneak through the dark halls, but is quickly grabbed by a shadow and dragged into a new location.

Ling now stands in a decently decorated throne room. Crystal sconces and chandelier shine faint light. A lovely carpet stretches from the large door behind her to the cushioned throne ahead. Barely visible to Ling, sits the Shadow Queen; an usually pale busty elf-like being in a black slit dress with opera gloves. Her long curly hair is intricately woven.

"G'day," says Ling, "Mind giving a light?"

"Why are you in my house?" ask the Shadow Queen as the darkness in the room thickens, "Explain yourself."

"Ya got it," says Ling, leaning her body slightly, "I'm a scholar and I came to propose a business venture to ya."

"And you came alone?"

"...No," says Ling, "Had a friend, a priestess of Vanessa."

"Just one?" The Shadow Queen rocks back and forth, "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

Claws take form amongst the darkness and lunge at Ling. She skitters away. She rolls and hops about away from the constant barrage. Ling pulls rock from her bag and charms it to shine brightly. The shadows recede and the Shadow Queen growls.

J: We know her name's Melandria; stop calling her the Shadow Queen.

"You think that parlor trick will save you," she yells as the shadow limbs long steel polearms and bows and arrows. The solid weapons are unimpeded by Ling's light and force her to continue dodging.

As she dodges, Ling gets a better look at the elf-esque being. Her ears are small and round. If her hair wasn't black, Ling would assume she was albino.

"Who does your hair?" asks Ling, skittering up the wall desperately avoiding arrows... or at least, looking desperate. "Is it dyed?"

L: Obviously, I cast a wind shield as soon as I had seen the bows.

"What? Yes, but- No one, I d-" Melandria stops herself, "Stop talking to me, you, weird lizard."

"Gecko, actually," says Ling jumping into Melandria's face, "So what are you?"

The woman on the throne pauses, as do her weapons. The gecko's eyes are fixated on something just under her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Got to be blunt, mate," Ling shakes her head, "You look sick."

"It's a skin condition," says Melandria, "I'm al-"

"Albino, I figured," says Ling, "But that's not it. Ya're malnourished, starving even." She grabs Melandria's hand. "What have ya been eating?"

Melandria pulls her hand away and conjures a piece of bread. "I have plenty of food. I'm strong enough to feed myself."

Ling pulls a potato out from her pouch. "Eat this."

Melandria balks at the tuber.

"I'm a doctor," says Ling before Melandria can speak, "If ya've only been eating mana manna, ya're going to rot away inside out."

Melandria warms the potato and rips it open. With a conjured fork, she begins eating.

"First saw this back at wiz school during the Great War," says Ling, "Spellies eating their own mana's no healthier than eating their own skin. And that's true even for one's that know healthy eating." Ling watches Melandria shovel food into her mouth. "Which most don't."

"Name's Melandria and I'm human," she says in between bites of food, "Since you asked."

"From the surface, eh?" Ling smiles. "My mum's from there."

WLC 2.C: DistrAction

The two duos, one metal-clad, the other leather, approach each other across the black sand.

L: By the way, they are Gish and her brother, Gash. They never told me their names; Melandria did.

D: Spoiler.

L: What? You should already know I talk to her; that's the whole point of the story!

"Why are you out here?" asks Gish.

"Where do you think you are?" asks Gash.

"Both questies: we're lost in the Underdank," says Ling, she gestures for Kalyani to answer.

"Quite," says the priestess, "If you could point uss in the directshion of the nearesst town, we'd apprecciate it."

"That symbol," says Gash, "That eyeball you're wearing... What manner of follower are you?"

"Do you know it, brother?" asks Gish. She reaches for her sword, but before she draws it, Gash answers.

"That's the Love God's Eye," he says, "So how do you serve her?"

"Oh, you know her?" asks Kalyani, fluttering her eyes. She slithers toward Gash. "Are you a follower too?"

"Brother," Gish voices tings with annoyance.

"Let him have some fun, mate," says Ling, scampering up to Gish, "Yous two alone out here?"

J: I should have known. You're a wizard, Mum; don't you have stories about succeeding through... you know, wizardry?

L: Magic isn't the only answer to problems, Jevoi.

"No, we-" Gish cuts herself off, "Why are you really here? What do you think you're doing?"

"What do you want me to do?" asks Ling, still sauntering forward. Lacking the ability to flutter, she quickly licks her eyes instead. At the moment, she has no idea where this will lead, but it is succeeding as a distraction.

Gish takes a step backward. Out of the corner of her eye, she spots Kalyani encircling Gash.

"Perhapss, we've not been honesst," whispers Kalyani, "The Goddesss ssent uss."

"Somebody needs our help," says Ling, "Is it ya?" Ling gets up to Gish's faceplate. "A big strong woman like you shouldn't be alone."

"I- I'm not," says Gish, "My brother and I-"

"Brother doesn't count, mate," says Ling, now fully confident, "Let's see those eyes of yours." Ling places her hands on Gish's helmet, who does not resist. Ling carefully remove it and looks upon Gish's battle-scarred tallgoblin face. "Looks like ya had some bark taken off, eh?" Ling gently traces her claw down the diagonal scars; they clearly came from a claw attack.

Gish face contorts. "Would- would you like to see," she says, struggling to keep her strong warrior demeanor, "My other ones?"

"I'd love to," says Ling.

L: Long story short: they let us into the tower and we kept them distracted for a bit.

WLC 2.B: Trip Trap Trope

The party enters a massive sandy chamber, they stand atop a slope above the black desert. The fossilized remains of a massive spike-shelled creature lies atop a fortress, thirty stories tall, sculpted from the caverns themselves to fit the creature's silhouette.

"Hiding, shhe iss not," says Kalyani, "It lookss familiar, thhough."

"You'd think someone calling herself 'The Shadow Queen' would live somewhere more... subtle," says Maraja, "Any ideas, wizard?"

A magical pulse emits from Ling's location; as it moves forward, an invisible runic wall shimmers briefly ahead of the group. "I know that symbol," says Ling, "That's a 'false ward' alarm... ward."

L: I know it's a dumb name.

At Kalyani's insistence, Ling continues, "This ward does exactly one thing: alert its creator to any change. Unwelcome intruder? Alarm. Attempt to disable? Alarm. Warp past it? Alarm. Actually disable it? Ya guessed it: alarm. But," Ling raises her finger, "That's ALL it can do."

D: I don't get it. Why's it special? L: How do I put this? On top of alerting their creator, most wards try to do something to whoever trips them. J: Mindjack, teleport, incinerate. L: They're intended to go unnoticed until it's too late. J: They're meant to catch dumb thieves and animals. D: So, why use this one? J: Paranoia.

"Asssuming it'ss a perfect ssphere, whichh iss likely," says Kalyani, "Thhey will know we're coming, no matter what."

"Maraja," says Ling, stretching, "You stay here and, when you see your chance, get in that building. Save your mate."

"I'm not leaving you out here," says Maraja, "You have no idea who or what will come out of there."

"Hang back, dear," says Kalyani, "Make that call after they come forth."

Maraja nods her watery head and steps back into the tunnel; Ling and Kalyani race down the slope. Ling feels the hot sand between her toes and Kalyani carves a trail with her tail.

"A late realizzation," says Kalyani, "But iss thhat a tarrassque?"

"Trying not to think about that," says Ling.

"Do you thhink it died reccently?"

"Trying not to think about that."

"HALT!" calls out a raspy woman, when the duo are about a hundred meters from the tower.

"CEASE!" call out a gravelly man, immediately after.

Standing in a second floor, a pair of heavily armored bipeds. They're too far away for Ling to identify who or what they are.

"HOW'S YA GOING?" yells Ling, "WE'RE AS LOST AS A EUNUCH'S BALLS!"

"WHAT?" yells the woman wearing her shield on her right, "WE'RE NOT HOLDING ANY BALLS."

"WAIT," yells the man wearing his shield on his left. He then speaks to the woman beside him.

D: What did he say? L: I don't know; I wasn't going to cast spells where they could see me.

The two jump down, slowing down before landing. They then pose together. Ling can now clearly see the mace and scimitar the man and woman respectfully carry.

WLC 2.A: What's in the Box?

L: The rest of that day was relatively uneventful. We eventually found a place to camp. Maraja went straight to sleep while Kalyani and I... communed... about Vanessa. J: We don't need to hear about that, Mum. D: Sure is a lot of boring adult stuff in this story. L: One day you'll want to know about "boring adult stuff." J: Still don't, Mum.

Maraja took the second watch. She made no fuss about her companions; she would simply pretend that she hadn't noticed. Between the two of them, the spells and wardings would likely be enough without an actual guard, but Maraja couldn't allow herself to become complacent; she will not always be traveling with such magicians. She kept her ears open to the faint distant echoes: things burrowing, skittering, even flapping. While the earlier worm shocked her with its size, the fauna she's met since is small and mostly harmless.

Maraja kept eyeing the passages forward and back. While she had lost track of how far the group have traveled, she trusts Vanessa's eyes to guide them. If they kept following her, they'd find Kirono. The wizard was convinced that the paladins were dating. 'Insanity,' thinks Maraja, 'We're just friends and I'm not about to abandon her.' Her thoughts drift to and fro. 'We are friends, right?' she worries, 'It's not like those Vrow.'

L: Anyway, when we woke, Maraja was really distracted: deep in thought. But we got our things together and continued on. That day, we found a suspicious box. So naturally the first thing we did was make sure they wasn't anyone hiding nearby before we carefully approached it.

The iron chest has a single hinge and a simple lock. It appears tightly clamped and relatively clean. It is clearly out of place here, all three women know that; no one just leaves a container like this in the middle of a tunnel in plain (dark)sight. The real question is: what kind of trap is it?

"Bomb?" asks Kalyani, "Perhapss, a cursse or poisson?"

"It looks koboldic," says Ling, "So poison is most likely, if anything."

"Should we just ignore it?" asks Maraja, "Just raise a little wall around it?"

Kalyani points her staff at the chest. "Jusst give thhe word."

"Hold," Ling raises her hand. "If you see anything appear over the box, sink it down." She points at it and thinks loudly. An image of a dog 🐶 appears over it.

As commanded, Kalyani shapes the stone beneath the box to lower it down and cage it with forcefully formed stalagmites. For a second, she thinks it may have twitched.

"What manner of spell was that?" asks Maraja, "A dog?"

"That's a mimic, no doubt," says Ling, she looks at her armored friend, "Say something, mate?"

"Thhe sspell, dear," says Kalyani, "What wass thhat?"

"Oh that," laughs Ling, "That's my own invention; I call it Detect Consent. I think of something and the idea enters the target's mind then I get a reaction for if they're in favor, against, or unable."

"So what is 'dog'?" asks Maraja, leaning closer.

"Dog is non-sapient," says Ling, waving a few illusions for dramatic effect, "There's also 🧠 brainwashed, 🍾intoxicated, 👻 possessed, ⭐ cursed, 💤 unconch, and 🐣 minor. If none of those trigger, then it'll give a ✅ yes or 🚫 no."

"What about imposssible?" asks Kalyani, "And can you teachh me thhiss?"

"Impossible actions default to no," says Ling, "And I'd love to teach ya."

"So if that were a normal chest," asks Maraja as the group approach the trapped mimic, "It wouldn't have given any response?"

"Nailed it," Ling slaps Maraja's shoulder, "I just realized it'd out these b****rs."

D: Why did you make that spell? L: To keep kids from places they don't belong. Almost every bartender in Inner Glow ended up learning to cast that cantrip. J: And then it spread amongst travelers and drove non-sapient mimics into extinction. L: Can't say anyone's mourning those. J: The propagation of smart mimics that led to was disastrous.

"But the question remains," says Maraja, poking the mimic with her sword, "Where did this come from? Mimics hide near people."

"Sso people," says Kalyani, keeping her staff ready as she leads the group forward, "Musst be hiding near it."

While all the other demons and angels chose to work with humans, Satan said, "I'm getting a dog."

Pekomaru and Satan from Daemon Bride

WLC 2.9: Call 'Em Vrow

L: As we traveled onward, we almost ran into a pair of Vrow huntresses. D: What's a Vrow? L: Cute elves from the Underdank. They're not as bad nowadays, but they were real bu- nasty back then.

A pair of violet-skinned elves sit in a high alcove, both young, barely out of school. One is dressed in traditional Vrow huntress attire: a black, leather leotard, thigh high boots, shoulder-length gloves, and a quiver of arrows strapped to her back. Dark grey belts hold the outfit up. Her velvet hair is in short ponytail.

L: Not that a Vrow would know what a pony is. D: I don't know what a pony is. J: It's a small horse. I could get you one. D: HHHHHUUUUU? OOOOOO?

The second (a sorceress, clearly) is adorned with what can be very generously described as dark grey armor. The chestplate is more comparable to a metal brassiere and it's matching bottom is a glorified, oversized belt. She's also wearing raised heel pumps. Under her armor, she wears an extremely thin tight dark silk garment with a spider web motif over most of her body, from finger and toe to neck. Thin metal rings on both ring fingers and around her neck hold it in place. Her long braided hair loops around her headpiece, which is akin to a circlet which matches her elaborate staff (also spider-themed).

J: We get it, they love spiders; it's their thing.

"Shooty and spelly in a ridge," says Ling, pointing up.

The adventuring trio hide behind a corner, they've spotted the Vrow first. How fortunate for them that the Vrow are distracted.

J: How did they not hear watergirl's clanking armor? L: Well, ya said to skip to the important bits. Sorry, that included us casting don't-get-caught spells, like Quiet March, and don't-fall-in-holes spells, like Darksight.

"How do we want to handle this?" asks Maraja, "Sneak up and attack? My range options aren't great."

"Hold on," says Ling, "We don't know if they're hostile."

"Thhey're Vrow, dear," says Kalyani, "Thhey will mosst ccertainly attack uss on ssight."

"No, they won-" Ling looks at the religious iconography of her party. "Well, yous, maybe. But look at them; those ladies aren't set to ambush anyone. F'ell, that spelly isn't even dressed for the cave; she's bound to twist an ankle." Ling motions for her companions to stay quiet as she casts a spell upon her bones.

The elves in the alcove sit oblivious to their observers. There's an awkward tension between them; Ling can taste it.

"Are you ready to talk about it?" asks the sorceress, rubbing the walking end of her staff along the drop from the alcove, "I don't know what else I can do."

"It's fine," says the huntress, refusing to make eye contact, "It's my fault, you didn't have to stay with me."

"I'm the one who twisted my ankle," says the sorceress, "So you missed a few shots; everyone has a bad day once in a while, Seònaid."

Seònaid rubs her head. "I'm going to get in so much trouble if I don't kill something." She shuts her eyes. "You know they've doubled the quotas, right? We might have to sell my father."

"Let me help," says the sorceress, "My family's well-off en-"

"I don't want your money, Oighrig," says Seònaid dejectedly, "I have to do this myself. I have to- I have to do something."

D: Couldn't you give her the giant worm you cooked. L: No, we had traveled several hours since then. If another critter hadn't eaten it then, another would've before the Vrow found it. J: The worms are also poisonous.

Oighrig struggles to speak. Ling can sense a desperate desire refusing to come out and casts another spell. Unseen to the elves, a magical bubble overtakes them.

"I love you." Oighrig clamps her hand over her mouth.

"I love you too," Seònaid chuckles and turns toward her, "Thank you. You're my best friend." She calmly loops her arms around and hugs Oighrig. "You al- We've always have each others back," she smiles, "And we always will."

Oighrig hesitantly puts her arms around Seònaid. "Y-y-yeah," she strains against an unseen force, "B-best friends."

Around the bend, Ling whispers to Kalyani, "Ya have anything to push these two? Hormones, music, shove her face in her boobs, something."

"Why- What?"

"I don't know," says Ling, "The mammals love boobs for some reason."

Oighrig suddenly kisses Seònaid, then stares into her eyes in shock.

"Wow," says Seònaid, "I was really down, but I'm so glad you're such a friend." She smiles widely.

"I. Want. You." Oighrig's eye twitches.

Seònaid nods. "To?"

J: How? L: I know. J: Vrow!? L: I know!

"Crikey," almost shouts Ling, "She's denser than b****y osmium. It'd be a piece of p**s for me to root a vejjo bunyip before this dropkick's jocks are off."

"Was that even elven?" asks Maraja.

Kalyani shrugs in equal bafflement. "While thhey're disstracted, we shhould leave."

"Right," says Ling, "I'm 'bout to snap."

WLC 2.8: Violence at Last

L: Several hours of ups and downs and all arounds (mostly downs) later and we'd arrived at Hairy Scary Rock: a twenty meter tall stalagmite which stands in a massive chamber.

"That is an ugly rock, says Maraja, "Its shape is... yonic?"

"Stop gawking and keep moving," says Ling, "We can't stop here."

"Why?" asks Maraja, condensing vapor for her to drink, "What's here?"

"Stop using that spell," Ling pulls a bottle out of her little magic pouch, "Use this."

J: Always with the bottles, Mum. L: Hydration👏 is 👏 important!

"What's the harm?" Maraja continues using her spell almost spitefully. "And what's here?" she asks again, irate.

The ground begins to shake. Ling seethes, "Creatures that are drawn to changes in the air and water." The rumbling nears.

"Iss thhat a giant worm?" Kalyani readies her staff as the tremors intensify.

"Giant worm," Ling nods.

D: Giant worm!? L: Giant worm.

On command, the giant worm bursts from the ground. It's thick dark grey hide etched with purple scars. It is about twenty-four meters long and three meters wide. It's open maw spews forth purple goo which the trio scatter to dodge.

"Strewth, a purple-stuffy!" shouts Ling, "Watch it, that goop is highly basic."

D: What does basic mean? L: Usually it means it's slippery and can burn you very badly.

Maraja draws her sword and readies herself, as the beast slides along the ground. She dodges its maw as it lunges and cleaves her blade through its side. A mix of blood and goop bleeds from the writhing mass. She resists the urge to blast the slime away with water.

Kalyani dodges the worm's venomous stinger tail and fires a bolt of electricity into it. This barely phases it. "Any idea what it'ss weak to?" she asks.

"No idea," says Ling, pulling a tuning fork from her pouch, "But I got this!"

As the creature lunges at the wizard, she slaps it in the side of its face with the fork while rolling past it. The worm's jaw spasms and it begins convulsing.

L: I call that spell "Nervous Veer"; it disrupts the target's nervous system, redirecting body commands all over the place. Try to bend your arm and twist your foot instead.

Maraja runs forth and brings her blade down upon the creature's slack-jawed face. The creature brain oozes out of it's open head. The body continues to squirm about.

D: EEEWWW!

"Shhield your eyess," shouts Kalyani, as she lights the entire area it occupies in holy flames. "BURN! DIE! BEGONE!" In a blink, it's roasted. A bitter aroma fills the air.

In the calm, the trio reunite a safe distance from the corpse.

"Anyone harmed?" asks the priestess, "Do you need aid, dearss?"

"Clean as I came in."

"I'm fine, but- Gross, it's so sticky," says Maraja, using a cloth to wipe her sword clean. "Why was that thing here?"

"These are their breeding grounds," says Ling, preparing to rant.

Maraja began marching suddenly. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"F*****g right" says Ling, suddenly calm again, "We can roast your a**e later."

WLC 2.7: Here We Glow

In total darkness, Ling drops Kalyani's bag and skitters off. "Hold on," she says, "I know it's around here." There's a tapping and creak. A dull light enters the chamber. Ling now stands by a small open door filled with glowing stones. "Great to see ya, again."

Maraja rolls her eyes, then turns her attention elsewhere. The chamber opens into three tunnels, but the small stone structure Ling stands beside has several metal pods attached to its sides. "What is that?"

"Just my current experiment," says Ling, "These pods contain different crops and the paneling shifts over time like the sun." She skitters up onto the building to a valve. "By turning this once a week, it keeps going 'round."

"Are thhosse dangerouss?" asks Kalyani, slithering away and roots through her bag.

"Defo!" says Ling, "With too many, anyway. Like standing in the sun." As Kalyani pulls a torch from her bag and lights it, Ling shuts her door and joins the duo in the center of the chamber. "So, who knows the way to go?"

"Her loving eyes will guide us," say Maraja. She fall to her knees and prays, "Dearest Vanessa, please, show us, on what path did Kirono head?"

A flaming eye suddenly appears in a tunnel and vanishes further in.

J: The gods did something? Hah. L: Two of her followers asked on a quest she assigned one to. J: ... L: We can talk about Vanessa later, Jevoi.

Ling licks her eyes. "South, toward Vrow territory."

"Oh, great," Kalyani shakes her head and takes out a staff, "The worshhiperss of Lmaoth." She conjures a new floating disc.

"Don't jinx it, mate," says Ling, hoisting the bag back on to it.

J: Can you just skip to the castle? L: What? But the purple-stuffed worm- and the tuning fork. D: I want to hear about the worm! J: Fine, just the interesting parts of spelunk. L: I'll do.

"She will protect us," says Maraja, standing, "She will protect us. Let us go forth!" She marches into the tunnel.

She's the nicest assassin you'll ever meet.

Battle Arena Toshinden 3 - Kayin VS Cuiling by Franjogutierrez

WLC 2.6-1: Flashback Within a Flashback

"Is this the way into the Underdank?" asks a tall, lanky knight in shining armor. Her voice is a shrill whisper, but upbeat. The green spiral symbol on her shield marks her as a follower of Freegh, the Goddess of Life.

Bobbobo the guard's eyes shift back into focus. At a glance, he may have mistaken her for a tallgoblin, but her large hooked nose and long skinny neck weren't like anyone he'd seen before. Her legs are more cat than goblin, too. Perhaps that is why he hadn't heard her approach. These thoughts occupy his mind for barely a second before he discards them. "Yes," he says, back to business, "Reason for leaving?"

M: She has a striking figure. She's as beautiful as she is kind. But she has a nasty habit of sneaking off, vanishing into darkness.

"I've been tasked with locating the Shadow Queen," says the knight, pumping her fist, "This is the closest entrance to her fortress... I think."

"Time to return, knight?" asks Bobbobo.

"I... hadn't thought about... that?" The knight turns around. "Do I need to know that?"

"No."

YL: Wait, I may have seen your mate.

M: You saw her? You met Kirono?

K: I thhink I did, too. Jusst briefly.

YL: Last week, yeah? Kee-RAW-naw? Cute name.

Before Kirono can speak, a bell rings out from within the dome behind the guard. He claps the fingers of his right hand against its palm, then slaps the dome. The magic barrier become translucent revealing the entrance to the Underdank. "Welcome back, Ling." He does not turn to face the gecko climbing out of the hole.

"G'day, Bob," says Ling, who looks up to the knight, "And ya too, sheila. Love to chat, but I've work to do." She races into the nearby building.

Kirono bends her neck ninety degrees and peers into the hole. She whistles. "That's... not the angle I was expecting."

"Four hundred metres straight down," recites Bobbobo, "The Township of Rankedge 'olds no responsibility for your safety. It is advised not to enter the Underdank." He eyes Kirono without turning his head. "Especially alone."

"I'll be fine," says Kirono, proudly, "I'm a wayang, I was born down there."

"Be careful down there," says Bobbobo.

Seeing the guards apathy, Kirono hesitates. "Maaaaaybe I should tell someone where I'm going first," she says, "Where's the... post office?"

M: I received a letter from her five days ago and- Oh, the ground. Thank you, both of you.

YL: No worries, mate.

K: Now, where shhould we sstart looking, dear?

“Darling… Kiss immediate”

Kinoshita Kanae VS. Kinoshita Negai

WLC 2.6: A Whole Lot of Hole

Down into the darkness the party did travel, climbing down by hand. One of Kalyani's staves carried a spell that allowed Maraja to imitate Ling's natural climbing.

"Do you really do thhiss every week?" asks Kalyani, carrying her entire weight on her hands alone, "Care to ssay why, dear?"

"Plant research," says Ling, climbing slow enough to keep pace while also carrying the priestess' bag, "I'm experimenting with biolumies in the Cave."

"Bio loomies?" asks Kalyani.

"Rocks and shrooms that glow down there," says Ling, "Trying to find a way to farm in the dark."

"For what purposse?" asks Kalyani, "The food crississ issn't from lack of light."

J: It is odd that you started there. L: Well, it's all I could afford at the time.

"If food can grow in the Caves," answers Ling, "That's a reason to get those b*****ds down there to stop raiding other parts of the Glow."

"Iss thhat why you moved here?" asks Kalyani, "And from where?"

"From Ozzel," says Ling, "Went to Lemonbum's Wiz School. Thought my accent would make it obvy. Where ya from, Sister? Ya don't sound local either."

"Her eyess led me here from thhe cloudss of Shheshhaparvata," says Kalyani, her voice more melodic, "Every few yearss, I-"

"CAN YOU STOP TALKING?" shouts Maraja, whose descent was far more cautious, "HOW ARE YOU SO CALM?"

"Breathhe, dear," says Kalyani, "Move one limb at a time."

The light from above suddenly ceases to be; Bobbobo had closed the dome.

"THE OPENING CLOSED," yells Maraja, her voice cracking, "I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!"

J: Why didn't you have any light with you? L: Ya think seeing how far down it was would help? Or seeing the light be swallowed by the abyss? The temptation of looking down would've killed her. J: Point taken.

"Mate, panicking is just making ya slower," says Ling, "Which means ya're up here longer. I'd be bottomside already if I weren't watching ya. Remember why ya're here."

"I'M TRYING!" screams Maraja, "WHAT IF WE FALL?"

"Then I'll jump after ya," says Ling, "I'm a wizard; I've a spell to save ya."

"WHY NOT USE IT NOW!?"

"If I use it too soon, it won't work."

"Remember, what shhe ssaid yessterday," says Kalyani, "Disstractsion. Tell uss more about thhiss lady we're following."

"Okay, okay," says Maraja, trying to calm her breath, "I can... do that."

WLC 2.5: To the Underdank!

The two blessed women approach the house of Dr. Ling. The nagi priestess, Kalyani, wearing a leather jerkin and cloth shirt, and the undine champion, Maraja, clad in her armor, both carry the vertical eye icon of Vanessa; Kalyani's on a pendant and Maraja's on her shield.

"Are you sure this is the place?" asks Maraja at the sight of the windowless brick building, "And where is this hole?"

"Look at the ssign," says Kalyani as she points to the plaque by the door, "Food Wizzard; thhiss musst be herss."

Before they can knock, the door swings inward, "G'day, mates," says the gecko clad in dark leather armor and a new (equally ratty) wig, "Ready for the Hole?" She pats the small bag tied to the base of her tail. "Ya do have supplies, right?"

"Yess, dear," says Kalyani, who points to a large bag sitting on the floating disc behind her, "Tent, food, water, sspell sstavess, everythhing we'll need."

"Where's your's, wavey?" asks Ling, eyeing the champion.

"I'm so grateful that you are both taking this seriously," says Maraja, "But don't we have enough?"

L: Can you believe that? Sheila's on the quest unprepared, but the nun's ready in a day.

"Ya ever been to the Underdank?" asks Ling, "There's barely any water, the temperature alternates between extremes, and everything edible is poisonous, ravenous, and/or explosive."

"That-"

"And further on are the gravity waves and seismic shifts, so the whole thing can rearrange while you're down there."

"I unde-"

"And the b*****ds living there: orc barbarians, Vrow huntresses, dweorg slavers, kobold pranksters-"

"I GET IT!" shouts Maraja, "Everything is deadly and terrible, but I can make water." She raises her sword and says, "And I can handle monsters." She swings and points it. "If you can guide me through the caves."

L: I knew it was going to be a hard quest, this one.

"Sister," says Ling to Kalyani, "Anything to say?"

The priestess shakes her head and the two head toward a blue dome about fifty meters away. The champion races after them.

Stationed there stands a smallgoblin in blue leather. His gaze is unfocused as he chews on the end of a wooden stick, its tip alight. The sound of footsteps drags his attention back to reality. "'Ello, Ling," he says, dry.

J: Is that how Mr. Snarbly was back then? L: People tend to be happier not standing near a death pit for eight hours a day. J: I'm glad he quit then. You taking his job at least made someone's life better.

"G'day, Bob," says Ling, expectantly waiting for the guard to open the gate.

He grasps the twig between a pair of fingers. "Reason for leaving?" His voice remains unemotive.

"Right," says Ling, "Different today. On a rescue." She jerks her head toward Kalyani. "There with me."

"Morning, Bobbobo," says Kalyani, as Maraja catches up, "May we pass?"

"Time to return, Sister?" He returns the twig to his mouth.

"Dunno," says Ling, "Maybe days."

Bobbobo claps the fingers of his right hand against its palm, then slaps the dome. The magic barrier become translucent revealing a large hole in the ground with a twenty meter diameter. "Be careful down there."

D: Oh, that's the hole outside! L: Yeah, same one. D: What happened to the dome? L: No one's around to maintain it. J: No one's around to fall into it.

"That's the way in?" asks Maraja, "How far does that go?"

"Four hundred metres straight down," recites Bobbobo, "The Township of Rankedge 'olds no responsibility for your safety. It is advised not to enter the Underdank."

"How are we to go down that?" asks the woman in platemail.

Ling wiggles her exposed fingers and toes. "Well, I'm climbing," she says, "But you could ride that disc."

J: Please, tell me she tried that. L: Nah, smart enough to avoid it. J: Shame.

"I do have a few sspellss to sspare," says Kalyani, adjusting her gloves, "The shhrine had thesse sspider glovess in sstorage."

The smallgoblin blinks slowly. "When you return-"

"Ring the bell. I know," says Ling, "We do this every week, Bob."